7 years.

Babak Terakhir

January 2019, time aku tengah tidur. Dalam jam2 pagi ada call masuk, tapi aku malas nak angkat, ngantuk siak. Phone aku keep ringing, sebab aku rasa annoying aku angkat call tu, from unknown number.

'Ally, Rina ni. Sorry for bothering you late night. Tapi boleh tak datang sini?'
'Rina? Rina mana?'.
'Gosh Ally, have you forgotten about me?'
'Siapaaaaa', aku mamai lagi masa cakap phone tu.
'I'm Rina. Kawan Aleeya. The one that sent you Aleeya's picture in Bali'.
'Oh ya Rina. Okay I remember. Why you call me? Where'd you get my number?'
'I don't have time to explain Ally but please come here'.
'Where?'

Rina told me to come to a club in city.
'No. I won't. Why should I go there?'.
'Ally you need to come. Aleeya is so fucking wasted now'.
'Haa? Aleeya? I don't care. Don't call me I wanna sleep. Call her boyfriend'.
'Ally, she doesn't even bother about her boyfriend. She want you. If you don't come here, then I'm afraid something bad gonna happen'.
'Look Rina, I don't fucking care okay. Just handle it by yourself. You're her friend no?'.
'Ally please come. For the sake of old time. I'm begging you. Only for this time'.

Aku pun tak tahu la apa yang rasuk aku time tu, aku siap siap and pergi la kat tempat tu. Cuma aku tak masuk la, aku tunggu luar je. Rina and boyfriend dia bawak keluar Aleeya, dari jauh aku dah nampak Aleeya memang dah wasted habis dah. Aku just tunggu luar dengan abang grab.

'Ally please bring her home. I never seen her wasted like this'.
'How do I know where her home is? We're broke up three fucking years ago Rina'.
'I'm sorry about that', and Rina bagitahu abang grab tu alamat rumah Aleeya and aku bawak Aleeya balik rumah, Rina and boyfriend dia gerak g lain lah. By the way, ini rumah Aleeya sendiri, bukan rumah family dia.

Sampai je rumah Aleeya, aku bersih kan la dia, busuk hanat, dia muntah bagai. Settle Aleeya aku baringkan dia dalam bilik, aku tertidur kat ruang tamu. Sedar tak sedar pagi esoknya aku terasa ada someone sentuh aku, terus aku tepis siakkkkk. Reflexion orang cakap.

'Don't fucking touch me'.
Aleeya macam terkejut la kan aku tetiba cakap gitu. 'I'm sorry'.
'It's okay. You sober now, I'm going first'.
'Please don't go yet'.
'Lepas la. You have a boyfriend already. You jangan cari I dah boleh tak? You nak apa lagi dari I? You pergi cari boyfriend you boleh tak? Duhhh'.
'Hm. Duduk lah dulu kejap'. Dia still lagi pegang kaki aku.
'Haih. Ha ye dah duduk ni. Nak apa? Nak g jahanam kan hidup lagi ke? I tak kisah la you nak jahanam kan hidup you ke apa. Just stop calling me. I don't fucking wanna involve with this, you have your boyfriend please call him after this. I wanna go now'.
'Ally can we talk first. Please don't be angry like this'.
'Apa lagi yang you nak dari I Aleeya? You nak cakap apa lagi?'
'Actually, my boyfriend was my fiancé now, and we're will married by end of this month'. Kata Aleeya.
'Ha bagus. Tahniah, so sekarang I nak balik. Suka hati you lah nak tunang ke apa ke apa, I don't care'.
'Tapi.. Dia curang. Dia ada perempuan lain belakang I. I'm so stress, that's why I go for couple of drinks last night but I don't know I was so wasted'.

And the drama goes on and on. Aku pun takda masa siak nak dengar cerita Aleeya ni. Bosan.

'Look. For the old time sake. I give you an advice. If you have a problem with your fiancé, go discuss with your fiancé. Every problem have an answer, you just need to solve it and I'm not your fiancé. And please. Please stop contacting me, it's not a proper'.

Time tu aku amik phone dia aku delete number aku, and dalam phone aku pun aku delete number dia, then aku terus balik. It's not my place to interfere with their relationship and to be honest I don't give a shit man. It takes me nearly four fucking years to move on, you think it's easy job to do? Hell no man.

Then dorang pun kawen lah, aku tak pergi pun cuma dalam group WhatsApp tu bersepah la gambar dia apa semua, aku clear chat je hahahaha. So hidup aku berjalan dengan tenang until last month, April 2019. Aleeya datang tempat aku kerja dengan laki dia, as a guest la so as a guest aku kena layan la apa dia nak. At that time dia suruh aku amik gambar dia dengan laki dia, posing banyak lah, peluk, cium, titanic, aku layan jela, guest do, tak layan kang nanti kena complaint. Time tu first time la aku tengok laki dia, tak handsome pun, duit handsome lah kot, pilot hanat. And Aleeya buat buat tanya la soalan kat aku, aku kena keep it professional lah jawab semua soalan dia. Cuma tak tahu lah apa motif dia datang and suruh aku amik gambar apa semua. And aku tak tahu mana dia tahu tempat aku kerja sebab aku takda post kat mana mana social network aku tempat aku kerja. So, aku terkejut jugak lah masa nampak dia time tu tapi buat biasa jelah, tak kan nak lari pulak. And the next day, aku masuk jam6 pagi time tu, tengah aku setup area aku tetiba dapat back hug siakkkkk terus aku tepis tengok belakang, Aleeya.

'You gila ke? Ni tempat kerja I, kalau ada orang nampak I mati do. Kang tak pepasal orang cakap I buat sexual harassment kat guest'.
'I've come this early just to see you. I had a plane to catch'.
'So go la, why come here'.
'I'm not happy Ally. With this marriage. This kind of life. It's all lie'.
'It's your life. It's your choice. Don't come and tell me all these shit. I don't wanna know'.
'Don't you miss me?'
'You think I'm crazy or what? Missing someone's wife? Shit I'm still sane Aleeya'.
'I found myself always comparing you and him. I tahu banyak salah I kat you. I pun tak tahu kenapa I selalu cari you'.
'Aleeya. Kisah kita dah lepas. Kita dah besar Aleeya. Jangan buat drama boleh tak?'
'Ally...'.
'Aleeya please go. I need to do my work. I don't have time for any drama anymore'.

Aleeya pegang tangan aku time ni. Aku tepis and aku terus lari dari situ. Aku tak nak tengok Aleeya aku taknak apa apa dari dia. Aku cuma nak buat kerja aku je. And time rehat aku block Aleeya kat semua social network. For me it's the time, I had enough already.

I used to care about you until I realized how pathetic I was to be crying over someone who simply didn't care. Although, you did teach me one thing, to never hold on to someone who isn't holding on to you. As for me, I know better, as for you, you lost a person who actually cared.

Kepada Aleeya. Namamu pernah menghiasi ruang hati ini, walaupun tak kan ada apa apa yang akan berlaku antara kita. Terima kasih atas semuanya, you banyak ajar I erti kehidupan. Kalau you nak tahu, sampai sekarang I single sebab I takut nak terima and sayang orang lain. Bukan sebab mereka tak layak, tapi sebab I yang tak layak, I tak mampu nak jaga you, macam mana I nak jaga orang lain? Kan? Dan I tak pernah menyesal kenal you sebab you adalah orang yang paling I sayang dalam hidup I. I harap you happy dengan hidup you, and semoga you dapat baby yang cantik macam you. Mungkin buat masa sekarang, kebahagiaan tu bukan untuk I.

P/S - Terima kasih semuanya kerana sudi membaca kisah aku yang tak seberapa ni. Semoga korang happy dengan relationship korang. Appreciate orang yang sayang korang, jangan take for granted sebab perasaan tu bila bila boleh berubah. And first rule, don't fall in love with a straight girl.