Love Drunk 3.0 (Completed)

Chapter 11

London 12 a.m.
Y/n POV -

"Ethan?" I breathe through the phone and I have to grab on to a table in the departure lounge of the airport. For a moment I forget that I'm calling my mum's phone to tell her that I'm gonna travel Europe with Shawn. I'm not connecting the dots that Ethan is with my mum, now he is answering her phone. "Where are you?" I hear him breathe. His voice sounds soft, comforting and full of love. It makes me so weak. It makes me forget about why I'm here in London, away from Ethan. It makes me want to surrender. "I'm- I'm-.." I stumble. But then I hear Mike's warning in my head <"I will break Ethan's neck as soon as he comes close!"> and the thought of Ethan being hurt makes me tumble of cloud nine. I regain my focus and adrenaline is rushing through my body, when it suddenly hits me. "Why are you answering my mum's phone?" I ask him while all scenarios cross my mind. "I'm in London." Ethan says and my heart stops. "We're all here in London.. even David.." he continues a bit more light hearted. It's a good thing I never let go of the table because I'm starting to feel a bit dizzy. "I came here to find you and.. take you back home with me." he says. "I love you and I miss you, y/n." His voice now serious.

I've been hurt. My heart has been broken before. I've fought my way through two, very messy break ups pretty recently. I've lost people close to me, due to stupidity, disloyalty and due to death. But non of these occasions made me feel the way I'm feeling right now. It's difficult to breathe when you feel like someone is closing off your air pipe, while simultaneously stabbing you in the heart. And for a brief moment I wonder why I'm here, alive.. cause the only thing I live for.. is out of my reach. I can't ever go back to Ethan and that realisation kills me. Him, confessing his love to me kills me. Me, restraining myself from telling him how much I love him, need him, crave him kills me.

He needs to leave London as soon as possible! When Mike finds out Ethan is in town the hunting season is open. "You need to leave London!" I breathe through the phone, trying to stay focused and keeping the butterflies caged. "I'm only leaving with you by my side.." Ethan now says, still with warmth in his voice, but also with a whole lot of determination. "I'm not leaving with you, Ethan.." I say. "I'm here with Mike." I add, trying to make him feel the urge of this situation. But saying Mike's name almost makes me sick. "Y/n.." Ethan says and I hear he's frustrated. "He can release those videos! Honestly! He can sell copies and print my dick on shirts and mugs! I don't give a fuck! I just need you! Here! With me! And I know you need me too!" He adds. "Ethan.. it's not that easy.." I answer him, trying to keep my tears at bay. This entire situation became an issue of a whole other level when Mike started threatening with killing Ethan and Mike's words resonate in my head. "We can't be together anymore." I state, not very convincing. Ethan stays silent for a second. "Y/n.." he eventually says, trying to stop me from talking bullshit. "No, Ethan!" I now say a lot more convincing. "We are over!" I add and I start biting on the inside of my cheek to numb the pain my heart is causing right now. "I know you don't mean that!" Ethan says calmly. He knows that I'm freaking out. That's why he tries to stay calm. He is once again trying to calm me down. But visualizing Mike hitting the life out of Ethan refrains me from calming down. He doesn't get it. He doesn't realise what Mike is capable of. "Ethan.." I say. "We are over!" I repeat and I bite my cheek again. As soon as I hear Ethan trying to object, I decide to take it up a notch. My hands are getting clammy, tears sting in my eyes and I can't believe what I'm about to say. "I'm not in love with you, Ethan!" I say raising my voice. "What are you talking about, y/n?" Ethan asks, clearly not convinced by my words. I'm tired. I'm tired of being hurt by Mike. Mentally, physically. I'm completely drained and even though I want to talk to Ethan for hours. Even though I want to be with him and never let him go.. I need him to leave. "I'm not in love with you.." I repeat. I breathe in deeply before I hit him with the final blow. "You were just a rebound, to get over Grayson." I say while I try to keep my rapid and shallow breathing under control. I know that was below the belt, but it is the only way to detach Ethan from me. It hopefully makes him realise that he has to go back to L.A. without me. He stays quiet and I taste the blood in my mouth. I completely bit through the inside of my cheek. Ethan was never a rebound. He is all I've ever wanted. He is all I ever need. What am I doing? What am I saying? I grab the hem of my shirt and wave it back and forth, to stop me from sweating.

"Okay.. good to know.." I hear Ethan say with a shaky voice. He sounds totally numb and tears fall from my eyes when it sinks in that this is the end. I completely broke him. I'm just keeping you safe. I'm trying my hardest to keep you safe, is what I'm repeating in my head like a mantra and I end the phonecall. There's nothing left to say. I turn around and see Shawn staring at me. He shakes his head. "What the heck are you doing?" He says in disapproval. How long has he been listening?