"Ri-Na, she is a talented young girl. She had gone through so much and I believe that, whatever she's been through, it's what made her as strong as she is."
"Rina is like the little sister I never wanted, but I can't help but love. She is family."
"...
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"You've shown me I have reasons I should love myself," Ri-Na sang, her eyes tearing up. "Nae sum nae geol-eoon-" she stopped when her breath was caught in her throat, a tear going down her cheek.
"Awe," the crowd said when a camera was focused on her. Showing her putting her hands up to her face to hide her tears.
The song was about how loving yourself is the answer to being happy with life and relationships. And it meant a lot to Ri-Na. She had been through a lot since she was a young child.
Living in a foster home, where she was taken out every now and then but returned after every few months. Being diagnosed with depression and panic disorders when she was just barely a teenager didn't help. And getting hate and negative views from those who dislike her definitely adds the icing to the cake.
With all these, Ri-Na grew up focusing on all her flaws. She tried to be the best for others. Doing really strict unhealthy diets, which most of the time involved not eating, in order to have the right body shape to please others; practicing for about 16-18 hours a day to be as good as the boys so that everyone likes her; and she tried so hard, and yet it's never enough.
She grew up trying to be someone other people wanted her to be, not someone she wanted herself to be.
When she first read the lyrics, she thought it was all a lie. She thought you can't be happy with just loving yourself, because then, who's gonna like you? Who's going to want to be around you if you're not the person they think you are? If you're not the person they want you to be? She hated the song, but she didn't tell anyone, not even Suga. She practiced it for her fans and for her members, secretly hating every word of the song that she sang.
Until now, performing it in front of an audience for the first time, she took the words to heart. She actually understood what the song meant. She stood there as ARMY sang her part for her. Her true fans. Those who loved her no matter how she looked, no matter how she acted. Her true fans who loved the real her.
Her legs gave out under her. She put her hand up to her mouth and nose, trying to muffle her sobs, her head facing down as her tears fell on the floor. Her red glittering microphone next to her.
Suga went up to her and kneeled down, pulling her to his chest.
He pressed a kiss on the top of her head, "It's okay," he whispered, although knowing that there was very little chance of her hearing him, "You're okay. You're going to be okay."
The song was about being true to yourself, and he knew that was something Ri-Na struggles with.
I hope you guys enjoyed it and really like it. Please tell me what you think. If I should change anything, add anything, if you have a request for a chapter. Let me know and I'll look into it.
