15- Freddie

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Ellie is still missing. The police interviewed some people at school today including me.

They called me out of English class for it. My teacher told me she'd been sent an email and I had to go immediately to the head's office. It didn't say why.

I wander down the hall, curious as to why I needed to go to her office. My first instinct is that I was in some kind of trouble but then I remember: Ellie is still missing. I don't exactly like her, but I hope that she's ok. She may hate me,  but I don't want her to die or anything, I'm not some kinda psycho.

Walking into the room, I feel sudden unexplainable dread. The grim looks upon the officers faces is a big hint that my unease is a mutual feeling. "Hello again, Freddie. Please take a seat, we won't take too long." I sit down on a plastic chair opposite them as they smile warmly at me.

"We understand that you were good friends with Rachel, did you talk to Ellie much as we are aware of their friendship."
"Umm, no. She uh- she sorta hated me after Rachel died. Blamed me and all that." Shit. Why did I just tell them that she blamed me? I must look so suspicious right now!
"Why did she blame you for Rachel's death."
"Well, she didn't blame me as such..."
"Freddie. Please answer our question, you won't be in any trouble."
"Umm. Well, Rachel and I were a couple." The word "couple" seems hard to say, like acid on my tongue. It stings, like I'm not worthy of having her as my girlfriend. Or ex girlfriend for that matter. "Then, we broke up and I don't think she dealt with it well." I mumble, wringing my fingers nervously.
"But, I—" I choke on my next words, "I really loved her, you know? But I messed it all up." Tears seem to be streaking my face. I wipe them away aggressively, humiliated. "Would you like a tissue?"
"No. I'm fine."
"It's ok to not be ok, Freddie."
"I know. Look I'm sorry, but I really don't think that this 'chat' will help anything, so can I please go now?"
"We have a few more questions for you, I can assure you it won't be long now. I sigh, giving in to them- what choice do I have?

"Do you have any reason to believe that Ellie chose to leave."
"What kind of question is that? I mean she was sad and all, obviously. But I dunno, she's rational you know, wouldn't rush into a decision like that."
"Ok, that's all for now, thank you. We'll be contacting you shortly."

I can feel their eyes on me as I leave the room: they don't trust me. How much do they know? I hope they know as little as I think they do...

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