Mixed Feelings: A Collection of Poems

Broken Compass

They say we all have an internal compass. You
Lose your ground and still find the way back home.
Under the scalding sun or in the freezing cold,
The strong-willed survive; the weak will die.
We'll be fine, so long as we follow our hearts—
Or so we think, but what's to come?

I can hear my mother, she's shouting, "Come
Home!" But I'm already there because I'm with you.
There's a weird tingling feeling igniting in my heart.
Is that what it feels like to find your way home?
When we're together, my words fail and die.
Best part of all, my heart's no longer cold.

Am I crazy, or is the air way colder
Than before? Something feels wrong. Can we overcome
This? Is that warm fuzzy feeling going to die?
I think the compass broke. I can't find you
Anywhere. Are you going to come back home?
Or am I no longer the housing of your heart?

These games you play are fraying my heart
Strings. The winter air is warmer than the cold
Looks you throw at me. If I'm looking for a homey
Feel, I won't find it here. I think my welcome
Has been overstayed. Hold on a second, did you
Really just say that? Has your love for me died?

I'm falling down this rabbit hole. Will I die
When I reach the bottom? My weakened heart
Can't take much more, but it's okay, you
Never cared anyway. My stupid compass is cold
And frosted over, yet somehow it still calls, "Come
Home." How could I, when I don't have a home?

If our hearts show us how to find home,
Why are they leading us together? The floors are dyed
With broken love and tears, and you're still coming
Up with wild excuses. My slow-beating heart
Is far too broken, I can't help wondering if the cold
Will free me. Either way, as long as I'm far from you.

If home is where the heart is,
I'd rather die out in the cold
Than come running back to you.

~JessTheWolf 🐺