Falling To The Sun | B. Swan + E. Cullen

dix

There isn't a way that she could explain what it's like to have the pieces of her heart align fully with someone else's like they were swapping parts of themselves. The way Roman viewed it was as if they were interchangeable puzzle pieces that only fit for each other because those bits of themselves only belonged with each other, and if she had a bit of her saved for Edward, if he was willing, then so be it. 

And if she kept a piece of herself for her to love, all the better, and she wasn't sure if she could find a love so open and real and pure as what she felt for Bella for anyone to relate to, but if she had to guess, Emily and Sam were pretty close, and knowing  what she did about the three of them, she wasn't sure if she should be proud of that. 

It wasn't something she could help, though, the way that they love each other, and it was an instinctual part of her that knew that nothing she could say would make them regret it. She was too late for that, to argue on Leah's behalf since neither seemed to remember her just right as part of the equation, at least not in the way that she could tell. 

That was perhaps what was most astonishing, the way people Roman had grown up with could be so different yet entirely the same from how she remembered. Emily and Leah were stupidly close, the best of friends, and if she was the girl that showed up on occasion to sit in on their playdates later turned gossip sessions, they were always welcoming. The cousins were there to welcome Roman when she had no friends and had to spend the summer largely babysat by Sue because she was too young to intern. They were inseparable friends that were tied together through a bond that didn't need constant attention. 

But then Leah was engaged to Sam Uley and she loved him just as blindly, as stupidly. Then they weren't and Emily was attacked by an animal, and Roman was too busy blaming herself for such a dangerous creature having gotten her friend that she didn't stay to watch the aftermath of Sam and Emily getting together. She was scared to see the way things would fall apart. 

She had never been as close to anyone in Forks that she had been with those two girls. Not Jessica or Lauren, no matter how dear they were to her, not even Eric had managed to claw his way to there status. 

So maybe Roman had been too eager to throw herself back into her work, her cowardice rearing its head each time the conversation grew too heavy, too thick. 

Becoming a lovestruck idiot didn't help the matter but that she wasn't going to regret that, not ever. 

They waited until everyone had left, Bella promising to come back so they could drive back to her house together before disappearing with Jacob so that they might have a chance to talk. It was only fair, she supposed, since they had spent forever sat together talking. It wasn't like they were dating... right? It was just a kiss... she thinks. 

When it was finally just the two of them, a mug of coffee placed before each of them. Emily remembered how she takes it. Some of the pressure lifted from her shoulders. 

"Sam did that," she voices, nodding her chin in the direction of her friend's face because she really doesn't have any issue mentioning it, doesn't see the reason to tiptoe around her when they were trying to get everything out it the open. 

"It was an accident," Emily's quick to say. 

"I wasn't implying that it wasn't." 

"He didn't mean it," she continues, standing up with a swift sort of antsiness that has her reaching into her cupboards as she began to pull out baking supplies. "They have trouble with anger and controlling it in the beginning. I didn't know he would be so dangerous." 

Roman nods, wrapping a hand around the warmth of her mug. "Yeah, I saw Paul lose his shit earlier. Are they all like that?" 

Emily nods, placing a mixing bowl on the counter. "They get better over time and I guess it depends on their temperament before the change."