Falling To The Sun | B. Swan + E. Cullen

treize

There was nothing much she could say or do as she silently sat watching Bella move around and it felt like she was in a daze. Her eyes burned, tears having long since run dry, and it felt like she had left her mind and her heart back at the funeral. 

She couldn't stay there, she knew, every part of her being rebelled against the idea, and she had to flee from the service before she made a fool of herself. 

Roman just felt like she was getting in everyone's way. 

At least Bella didn't seem to think so as she busied herself making food, fluttering around her nervously as if she was going to fall apart. 

It was hard to convince herself that she wouldn't when she didn't feel connected to her body. It was like watching herself interact mechanically. 

Everything had just been piling up on her for the past two days, building until she wasn't sure if she could face it anymore. 

She thought that she was dealing with everything rather gracefully. Werewolves are real, Bella might love her, Bella's her girlfriend, vampires come after her, Harry's dead, more vampires, her girlfriend jumped off a cliff uncaring if she dies -- the world was crumbling and she still couldn't find the courage to actually look at Alice because if she did then she was going to start spewing everything and anything that came to mind. 

And she had yelled at her that night, Roman despairs, biting down on her tongue viciously. She had yelled and yelled until her head felt like it might split. Her heart had hammered bruises against her ribcage as she got the full story of her falling victim to the waves that she had willingly thrown herself into. The thought of losing Bella because she had missed a moment made her feel like she was serious;y dying and her words just poured out. 

She couldn't remember the last time that she had ever yelled at anyone. 

Bursting into streaming tears at the sight of Bella's watery eyes had made her feel like a despicable person. 

There had been no second thoughts when they had curled up in her bed around each other and Alice hadn't said a word. She still hadn't

 Shifting in her black dress, she wondered if she ever would say anything. It was another thing for her to stress over. She worried she would start losing hair soon. 

Bella took a lasagna from the over and Roman blinked, wondering where the time had gone if it was already finished before she pulled cleaning supplies from under the sink and trudged them upstairs. She could hear her in the bathroom. 

Wincing at the kink in her neck, she forced herself up from the table to go and change. She couldn't be wandering around dressed like this all day, it wouldn't be good for her health. 

She pulled on a pair of leggings and one of Bella's button-ups, finding comfort in the garment. It was soft and smelled of fresh laundry detergent that made her heartache at the familiarity. 

The doorbell rang as she was holding the shirt to her nose. it kicks her into motion, turning her sluggish brain on and kicking her body back into action as she rushed to answer the door for the girl, ignoring her calls as she rushed to pull the rubber gloves off. 

It rang twice more as she rushed down the stairs. Again as she opened it. 

Jacob was standing about six feet back from the door, nose crinkled in distaste, and despite their strained relationship, the sight of him filled her with something warm. She hadn't seen him at the funeral today. 

Launching herself down the path, she wrapped him in a hug, biting her cheek to keep away her tears. 

"I'm so sorry about Harry," she mutters and some of the tension bleeds from him as he puts an arm around her and pats her shoulder.