Falling To The Sun | B. Swan + E. Cullen

soixante-neuf

Roman wasn't sure where they were anymore, not really, but it was somewhere surrounded by trees, somewhere near a river that was blaring in her ears, echoing in her thoughts as everything in her mind focuses into this one thing, this one trail and path that was stretched out before her.

They were getting closer. Three days straight of running, stopping only so Romulus could eat, she wasn't quite sure where it was they were, even if deep down she had some faint idea that wasn't truly important in the slightest.

She could feel herself getting closer, the impossible sense in her chest, the itching burning thrill that bit through her veins and tore through her muscles, driving her forward faster and faster and fasterfasterfaster with every step telling her that she was getting closer. Almost there, she could feel them right before her, feel them just as much as Alice couldn't see, following that blind spot in her vision that let them all know that they were at least on the right path.

To be honest, it was thrilling, the hunt that filled her every sense and turned her into this hyper-focused predator that could was uber fixated on this one outcome -- the only thing that could pull her away was Romulus and his quiet requests that he would only bring himself to voice when he thought he couldn't wait out for it any longer.

She has told him over and over that, he didn't have to tiptoe around her when it wasn't fair that he was here suffering because she had brought him around when he shouldn't have been here to begin with.

Romulus should have been home living in comfort with Bella and Edward, should have been protected by them as she trudged through the rainforest. He should have been with Renesmee instead of strapped to her back nearly twenty-four hours a day.

It was odd having a child that didn't act like a normal child that wasn't so considerate and sweet and was willing to demand her attention and time instead of letting her become this primal version of herself that was, frankly, incredibly frightening when she thought back on it

She could see why they had insisted that she come so avidly. It wasn't as though she could blame them for wanting to use that ability that stripped her of her personality. She assumed it was different when she knew how to use her newfound abilities properly instead of the hypnotic way that they controlled her.

When she imagined how it worked for someone like a Demetri, she had never quite viewed him as the sort that would give himself, give everything that he was, to the hunt. It wasn't frightening to her, a person that couldn't control themselves when it came to the moment, captured by instincts they couldn't control. To her it was much more terrifying to be hunted by a man that hadn't a thing to hold them back, there full potential that could just burst through with this tight, intense heat.

Roman didn't feel any of that determined intensity, not like the shirt she imagined, and if she was meant to, she certainly didn't feel it now.

All she felt now was an odd mix of optimistic and guilty, along with the sense that she was a terrible mother and even worse person. 

Because she was pretty sure that it was almost Christmas, even if she didn't know the exact date anymore. She was sure if she focused, if she counted back the days carefully, it would all make sense, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to know how long they've been away from their family. 

She just missed them so much, so dearly, that somehow it only solidified her insane sense that drove her to lose herself further to the hunt. 

It only drove Roman to search harder. 

Perhaps that was why she struggled to veer off course when Alice stopped and began to lead them in a different direction. She was insistent, and though Roman could feel the shift as they got further away, notice the ping at the edge of her sense, a new path that forged on her mind-maps, she didn't know what she was going to do about the way that they diverted so quickly without second thought from the thing that had been occupying her thoughts so impossibly since she had fallen across the hunt.