Falling To The Sun | B. Swan + E. Cullen

dix-huit

Roman didn't know what she was going to say. That was a good thing. Speaking to him was daunting enough as it was that she couldn't imagine what it would be like when you involved mind reading.

Because Edward Cullen had telepathy. He would know everything that she wanted to say before she had the chance to say it.

It was incredibly likely that he knew all about her feelings for him from the beginning and if he hadn't he certainly did now.

The situation was maddening. If only it worked in such a way that he could see into the deepest parts of her heart, of her soul, and comprehend fully the extent of her feelings for him were. There was no flitting, surface attraction like what Lauren and Jessica had, it wasn't for aesthetic or station purposes. Roman was genuine, true, and she wanted nothing more than to be able to prove it to him with the utmost sincerity.

She didn't know where to start, how to broach the topic without sounding painfully foolish.

"I love you," She blurts, tongue working without permission as words come tumbling out. "I've loved you from the moment I saw you. I'm not sure if you believe in love at first sight or soulmates, but I do, and you and Bella are mine."

He has no outward reaction. She expected that. She wasn't an idiot. The Cullen's were the best that she's ever seen at obscuring their thoughts and feelings. She would likely never know unless he wanted to be honest with her.

"I'm not telling you to make you feel uneasy or pressured into anything, but I want to do things right this time. I need to make sure that both of you understand and are open to it," Roman rambles on thoughtfully. "Could you ever imagine loving me as much as you love her? Because I love you both equally, so much that it breaks me inside knowing that I'll never have eternity with you, with her. If there is a sliver of a possibility, even in the slightest, then fine, but if not that's also fine."

Breathing deeply, she curls her fingers, digging her nails into the palm of her gloves. These weren't the right words she wanted to say, the right phrase she wanted to use. Roman wanted it to sound like poetic prose, like a period drama declaration that would have no wavering and cowardice that fought to the front of her mind.

"What I'm trying to say is: it was Edward and Bella before it was Roman and Bella. She loved you first and only came to actually see me because you left. I don't know how she would react if I was gone, but I know she would be fine if she had you. She belongs with you. As much as she might love me and want to be with me, she can't have that if you don't agree because you want to and not because she wants to," she whispers, clenching her eyes shut. "I- I would be with you both in a heartbeat, but I would be fine going back to the way things were before. Knowing that you have each other and are happy would be enough. I never meant to intrude on what was there before me. I'll only stay if you'll have me."

The sound of her veins rushing in her ears and the heat of her face makes her twitchy, anxious, as the bright gold of his eyes stays pinned to her face. She swipes her tongue over her lip, not caring about the tangy metallic taste.

"God, but I'm putting you on the spot now by saying all of this," Roman groans. "Look, just think about it, I guess. I should give you guys some space anyways. I've got a ton of things to do, probably."

She goes to leave or at least tries to, but his hand wraps around her wrist gently, holding her in place, and she nearly crumbles as her knees go weak.

"I want to thank you for taking care of Bella for me, and for coming with her to Italy," he says, finally speaking, and she can only blink at him as she tries to process his words and how they have nothing to do with anything that she said. "I will forever be grateful to you."