Steve Rogers/Captain America One Shots

Her Life for His

(Listen to the song Blackout by: Danielle Bradbery while you read this one. This song is unbelievably beautiful and raw! And I think it is the perfect pairing for this one shot. It's amazing.)

She could feel the way Steve Rogers held onto her hand, as though he was afraid if he let go she'd float up into the clouds and disappear from him. For he held her hand tightly in his own, careful not to crush the IV that ran beneath her pale flesh, but the pressure he applied was tight enough that she couldn't escape his grasp. He wouldn't let her. 

Bullets had torn through her, shattering bones like they were nothing more than glass vases used for target practice. All of the blood that flowed from her open wounds seeming to paint the cement where she lay in a pool of red. Her body had been thrown to the harsh ground with the impact of the shots, and her head hit the earth with such force that everything went black. They thought she'd stay that way, engulfed in darkness until a blinding light finally met her. And yet, as a warm and familiar voice filled the room she lay in, inside a safe bunker underground, her eyes miraculously opened. She had to see him... one last time.

Her body felt more pain than any other sensation, and her veins coursed with more morphine than blood. But none of the injuries that nearly ripped her in half, could compare to the agony that came with seeing the look inside of Steve's haunting blue eyes in that moment. It felt like his gaze had the capability of reaching into her crushed chest and ripping her-- somehow still beating-- heart out with its bare hands. Collapsing it in it's intense grasp. The pain that swam in his eyes that resembled the depths of the deep blue ocean, seemed to suffocate her harder than the collapsed lung inside of her aching chest. It was torturous, to see Steve in so much pain just looking at her. 

"You--" She breathed in a breath as deeply as she could, wincing at the pain that shot through her with the single inhale. "you have to get back out there."

Steve shook his head, and she could swear she felt the grasp on her hand tighten. "I'm not going anywhere."

Her voice was faded and almost croaked in the most pained whisper tone. As though her entire throat was raw and the single vibration of her words felt like sandpaper rubbing against it. 

"There's-- there's people out there that still need your--your help." 

Steve pursed his lips, and looked down at her hand before shaking his head again. His hair was disheveled, and yet none of his beautiful dusty blonde locks looked distinctly messy. And even as his skin was shadowed by dust and dark remnants of the street he had fought against just mere hours ago, his skin still somehow glowed in a light way that it only could on Steve.

"You need me," Steve said softly, lifting his weighed down blue eyes up to meet her feather like gaze. "and I'm not about to leave you."

When it came to something Steve was passionate about, something he believed in with all of his heart, there wasn't a way to persuade him otherwise. And knowing he would stay there with her as she tried to recover, no matter how long it took, she pulled out the last card she was carrying. One she knew he couldn't throw to the side and ignore. 

"He needs you too Steve," She wheezed through the pain constricting her chest. "you're the only one who remembers who he really is. And I know he isn't someone you can just give up on Steve."

Bucky Barnes was out there, somewhere, being twisted and tortured by Hydra to become their perfect Winter Soldier. And although he had shot at everyone Steve Rogers cared about, herself included, she knew Steve was incapable of turning his back on the man. He was his best friend, and seventy some years would never change that. Neither would the fact that the man was working for his enemy and trying to kill him. There was something inside of Steve Rogers that would always belong to Bucky Barnes. A part of his heart, a part of the man he was today, a part of himself that wouldn't be there if it weren't for his friend that got him through. And she knew it was a part of him she didn't want to see go away.

She saw it the second the words escaped past her bloodied and split lips. The way his eyes dropped and he tried to conceal the truth from her gaze. But she already knew she had hit the nail on the head. This was what was going to get him back out there, because he couldn't stay here knowing Bucky was out there killing innocent people. 

"You-- you have to find him Steve, you have to get him to remember. You... you need to save him."

His eyes fluttered upward and they nearly overflowed with the emotion that flooded them. It was excruciating to look at, for she saw the way his heart was tearing him apart. How could he chose between the love of his life that lay fighting for her life, and the friend he thought he had lost all those years ago?

He couldn't... and she knew that. And so, she made the choice for him.

"Go find Bucky Steve, please."

Steve squeezed his eyes shut for the briefest of moments, before reopening them and speaking softly. "What about you?"

She smiled faintly his way, though tears burned her eyes like the pain soaring through her body. "Don't worry about me."

She knew it was impossible. There would never be a day when Steve Rogers wouldn't worry about her. And especially now, as she laid with bullet holes draining her body of life. But she couldn't let him sit here watching her die and give up the chance to save his friend. Someone had to live through this fight. 

Steve Rogers felt a sinking sensation of defeat as he stood hours later on a sinking helicarrier that was spiraling down in flames. It weighted down his body that was trailing blood from the bullets that tore through him, and his heart that beat with an aching tear inside of it. He looked down and saw Bucky pinned beneath a metal bar of the sinking ship, and knew he couldn't leave him. No one knew who the real Bucky was anymore, the Sergeant Barnes from the 107th was lost to the world. But not to Steve. That was still his friend down there, and he couldn't let him die like this. 

"Steve," Her breath had grown tethered and each word made her head spin a little as though a top spinning on its side. "you can't save everybody."

Steve could feel as he stepped forward to save Bucky, lifting the large metal scrap from his crushed body, her life slipping from his grasp. He could feel it inside of himself, something fading. A part of himself dying alongside her. Something inside of his heart fizzling away as though it was never there to begin with, except Steve knew exactly what had once filled that space. 

"Just let me go Steve," She knew what was next for her. And it wasn't a life here on Earth with Steve but an eternity up in the kingdom above them. But she also knew, that although he couldn't save her, he could still save someone that day. "it's alright."

She breathed her last breath just as Steve took his first. And it was as though her single exhale breathed new breath right into his lungs. The same lungs that had filled with water until he was saved by his friend, that perhaps wasn't as far gone as was believed. And Steve knew that she had let him go to save Bucky's life. If he had stayed with her as she died, he would have never gotten the chance to save Bucky from death, and disappear from Hydra's iron grasp. 

She had given up her last lingering hours of life, for Bucky's. Because she knew that Bucky would fill that void in Steve's heart when she was gone. 

A/N: When I first listened to the song, I knew I needed to write a Steve Roger's one shot to it. The build and the emotion was too powerful to not use. And slowly, I began to build the idea for this one shot. I had this feeling of having to let go, having to chose between two people and let go of someone's hand while saving the other. And with careful thinking, construction and writing, I created this piece! It took me some time to nail down the location and scene, because I loved the idea of using this set up from The Winter Soldier, but it didn't make much sense to have someone else with them in that final scene. But I think I found a good way to integrate the classic scene with my own touch. It's different and unique and emotional and I'm happy with it. I also loved that GIF for this one. I would love to hear what you all thought of it, I hope you liked it!❤

I also thought that this was the perfect one shot to happily announce that my new book Bucky Barnes/Winter Solider One Shots is officially out!! I hope all of you who love this book, will continue with me on this journey as well as my brand new one with writing Bucky Barnes!💙