Without Words ≫ 5sos A.U

0.15

JAYCEE'S P.O.V

My whole day was spent with a gaming controller in my hands, bonding with my brothers over video games. I always wondered how they did it everyday for hours; I mean, it had to get boring at some part, right? At least I thought so, but I was hypocritical and I sat in front of the TV all afternoon being challenged.

I checked my phone and saw the time was 2:47PM. I reminded myself to leave five minutes before three o'clock to get to Bri's house. Im quite nervous to talk, and I'm worried I'll say something wrong or something that'll offend her. I just hope it goes all well.

Soon enough, that time comes and I leave some fruit out for the boys, let them know im leaving and I walk out the door, and make my way over to her house. she should be coming back, or she should be back after classes today; that is, if she decided to even go it just ditch again with Ashton and smoke a few.

This is exactly why I'm scared.

Whatever comes to mind, I say or think, and I hope I don't say anything rude to her. It would make things even more complicated than they have to be. That's the last thing I want, or even need right now.

My feet stand and swing on the doormat, as I knock thrice on the door, waiting for her to answer.

"Hey Jay," she says quietly. I can barely see her face. It's peaking out from behind the door, so I step in and look at her, as I slip off my flats.

"Hi Bri. What's been happening?" I ask, to break the awkwardness.

"Nothing really." she follows behind me; Im still not able to get a glance at her face properly. It seems like she's hiding something. But what?

"Tea or coffee?" She asks.

"Water is fine, thanks." My sweaty palms rub my pants. She hands me my glass, her face still dropped down, her long hair covering it, and she takes a seat beside me. She's definitely avoiding eye contact.

"Do you not want me here?" I blurt; shoot.

"What?" She turns to face me; slightly. Still, my eyes can't place her face.

"You're avoiding eye contact with me, and definitely hiding something, and why the hell are you wearing sunglasses inside the h-"

Why? Why Bri, why?

"Did you not go to school again today?" I couldn't even look at her myself. I started picking at my cuticles, my head pounding. I didn't hear a reply; only sniffles. I look at her, and I see tears dripping down her much paler face and I see her remove the sunglasses slowly revealing herself, as she also ties her hair up. My mouth drops and my heart breaks slowly.

"Bri... I-"

"I know; I know it's bad. I know I look bad. But I can't help it Jay," she breaks down, her face dropping and sagging. Her pale fingers with black, chipped nail polish scrape against her cheek as she cusses herself out.

"I don't know what the hell I've become," she continuously gasps for air in between her words, "who the hell I've become, or where the hell Im going to end up. But all I know," the tears are given to me as well, "all I know is that I am the biggest screw up in the world!" She starts yelling, making me jump slightly.

"I... I was never supposed to wear glasses inside a building to disguise my eyes from the substances Ive been taking. I was never supposed to intoxicate myself. I was never supposed to end up like this, but there is no way out!" She slumps to the ground after pacing back and forth, her hair messy in her hands and she shakes with fear.

"Bri, I can help you, just let me h-"

"I try getting help Jay. I do! I really do try, but it doesn't work. It's an... It's an addiction. I think I can stop, and I do stop, but then I give in for more. And even when I tell myself I don't want more, I sure as hell do. I feel the need to continually intoxicate myself with this, and with him," she breaks her voice. We're both in tears by this point.

"I went to Ashton asking if he'd help me overcome this, by refusing me if I ever asked. And he's done a good job. It's me that's screwing up now; not him! I sneak one into my sleeve from his back pocket when we kiss, and I make up excuses when I'm with him to dismiss myself from the room to take a smoke! I... I just-" Her back hits the wall and her head bends down as she shakes in sadness. I walk over to her and crouch beside her, as her back drags against the wall, till she takes a seat on the carpeted ground.

"Bri, I... I can't imagine what you're going through at the moment. But I know I can help. I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to about your struggle, okay? I just want to help you overcome this. You've been working so hard your entire life, and these things just throw it all away. I can't see that happening. So I'm here to help, okay?" My fingers pull strands of her brown hair off her face. She needs support, all the support she can get.

"You can even stay at my place for a week, if you need to make sure you're not going to sneak again," I smile lightly at her, and she faintly does as well. She nods her head, and my arms wrap around her waist.

"Family first."

"Thank you Jay," she sniffles into my shoulder, clutching hard on my body.

"Anytime. Im always here."

"Can you please try your hardest to resist?" I beg her, with so much plead in my voice. She nods into my arms, and straightens up against the wall, brushing the tears off her cheeks.

"I'll try. So damn hard," her fists clenched either determination.

"Good, because," I stood up, taking her hand to pull her up; we need something to bring up the mood, "Luke invited Cal and I on a road trip, and he was eventually going to ask Ash and Michael, and we thought Ash would bring you along. So, if it's possible for you to keep clean, we can all enjoy the trip without drama and stress...?" I felt bad dismissing the fact that we wanted absolutely no drug use on the trio, but it's true. It has already caused and would cause too many problems.

"Oh, it's possible. That's why you'll see me on the trip," she grins and smiles. What a strong person.

"Im so proud of you. You can do this," I hold her shoulders and smile.

"Thank you for sticking by me. Others wouldn't have."

"Im not like the others," I pull her in for one last hug before I have to leave to go back; Josh and Jett are still home alone.

"See you soon?" I say, slipping on my shoes.

"Mhm," she nods and leans against the door.

"Sounds good. Bye Bri. Talk later." I walk out and seconds later, hear the door close.

Thank goodness all this is going to go away. It'll be ridden off soon. Forever.

Right?