Crazy In Love (Crushing Hard Series Book 1)

Dear Diary 26/05/2012

20:00 PM

This weekend was a nightmare and a half. My dad pissed me off just like I knew he would. Everything was going well until Sunday morning. My brother decided to visit a friend nearby and left without buying bread first. Yeah, he was in the wrong. He knows he has to buy bread, just like I know I have to clean the house before doing my own errands. My dad got mad at us for letting our brother go out, and I couldn't help but think,

"Is he our teenage son to control, or is he not yours?"

Then my dad forced all of us out to buy the bread, not even letting us change into decent clothes. I had fallen asleep in tights and a t-shirt. It was so humiliating. Of course, the guys who always hang out at the spaza shop were there, including the one I had a crush on. The horror! They laughed at us, finding humor in my dad's antics. My dad is like Madea from "Madea's Family Reunion." He has some bizarre methods of discipline. Once, my brother came back way past curfew, and my dad slapped both him and his friend. No parent would stand up to my father; he’s a scary man. They’re all like,

"Yeah man, thanks for hitting my kid; he probably deserved it."

On the bright side, Scott and I were texting the entire time. It’s confusing because he told me he misses me, and I shot back, telling him to go miss his girlfriend. I didn’t mean it, though; I was grinning from ear to ear every time I read his message. I can’t figure him out.

Next week, the prefects will start dance lessons for the matric dance. We’re required to open the dance with a number. Can I confess something, Diary? I miss Scott so much—not just the kissing but being near him and feeling his gaze on me. Cassandra is always around, and it sucks to see how perfect they seem together. I can’t figure Scott out. Dean has been MIA today, and his absences are starting not to bother me anymore. I feel like I’m getting over him. I don’t trust him; we don’t have anything in common, and the one thing we do have in common just isn’t enough anymore. I talk like this because he’s not here to cloud my judgment with his sexy presence.

On Friday, it’s Dean’s matric dance. My parents weren’t about to fork over money for a dance that wasn’t even mine, so Dean has to pay for my dress, hair, and makeup. I found a sexy golden-yellow dress that’s simple and flowing, with a backless design that hugs my body beautifully. I don’t know what I’ll wear to his dance. Dean is supposed to take me shopping tomorrow.

Oh wait, Charlene is texting. She’s my spy from Dean’s school because I obviously can’t keep tabs on him 24/7...

**Oh wow.**

**A little while later**

Dean was just here. I had been trying to get hold of him all day, but when I screen-munched the message that Charlene sent and forwarded it to him, he instantly called, begging to explain himself. I waited for him to deny everything, to say he didn’t sleep with his ex during their Prefect Camp trip. That’s what I was expecting. But he didn’t. I felt like I had been hit by a car. I was so shocked that I couldn’t even feel the pain. Dean actually cheated on me.

He told me it was a mistake, that he didn’t mean for it to happen. How do you "accidentally" sleep with someone? Maybe it’s because I’m a virgin and don’t understand that sometimes people trip and their penis lands in someone’s vagina. I felt literally numb. I always assumed I would throw a fit if I caught a boyfriend cheating, but instead, I was in shock and disbelief. Wow, this had actually happened to me. On the phone, I told Dean it was over. We were done. Then he showed up at my house, crying and begging for a second chance.

That’s when the rage hit me. I threw rocks at him, and when I ran out of rocks, I grabbed dirt and hurled it at him. When that proved ineffective, I launched myself at him, punching and hitting every part of him I could reach. I screamed for him to GET THE FUCK OUT. I was like a madwoman possessed, my voice loud and shrieking—unlike anything I had ever heard. A few neighbors came to see what was happening. My mom came outside and pulled me into her arms, likely hearing the accusations I hurled at Dean. She looked at him with a fury I had never seen before, and told him to leave.

After he left, I cried in my mother’s arms, and like all irrational teenagers do, I posted everything on Facebook about what a lying sack of shit Dean was and that I was off men for good. The vultures swooped in. I was surprised to see Dennis texting me, being all sweet, even though part of me wanted to cuss him out. There’s no way he didn’t know his best friend was bumping uglies with his whore of an ex, but I took the high road and thanked him for his kind words.

I’m sleeping in the same bed as my mom tonight. Sometimes, you just need your mother.

Sweet dreams.

Lotsa love.