Crazy In Love (Crushing Hard Series Book 1)

Dear Diary: 14/08/2012

Today at break time, I was hanging out in the prefects room, nestled on the couch, comfortably chatting with Scott about the Avengers. He was surprised to learn that I found Bruce Banner and Tony Stark attractive. There’s something undeniably intriguing about Bruce's temper, and Tony’s nerdy charm pulls me in. Scott may not fit the typical nerd image with his striking sex appeal, but beneath that exterior, he has a true geek at heart.

Suddenly, Charmaine approached me asking me to have a chat with her outside, her expression serious. A wave of apprehension washed over me; she had often sided with Cassandra and had been unkind to me in the past. Scott and I exchanged uncertain glances as she pulled me away from our conversation. I felt a twinge of emptiness at being separated from him, even for a moment.

"Yes, Charmaine? What do you need?" I asked, eager to return to Scott’s company. Charmaine gestured for me to sit on a nearby bench, and she took a seat across from me.

"Listen, Thandi," she began, her voice heavy with emotion. "I don’t want to argue anymore. The year is coming to an end, and soon we’ll all be turning the pages to new chapters in our lives. I don’t want to carry a grudge against anyone. You know what I mean?"

The chill in the air wrapped around me, even though the sun shone brightly above. I felt a shiver run down my spine.

"My fight has never been with you," I replied, trying to keep my voice steady. "Honestly, I’m not fighting with anyone. I completely understand why Cassandra feels the way she does. If I were in her shoes, I’d feel the same. I know that nothing I say or do can erase the hurt Scott and I caused her. It haunts me every single day. The guilt is unbearable."

I held her gaze, hoping she could see the sincerity in my eyes.

Charmaine's tears began to flow freely. "That girl is in so much pain, Thandi. It breaks my heart to see someone suffering like that. I used to think you didn’t care, that you took what you wanted without a second thought for the consequences. But now I see how deeply those consequences weigh on you. It just... that girl is hurting, Thandi."

In that moment, I realized I was crying too; my cheeks were wet with tears that mirrored her own.

"You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t see her pain? I’m lost on how to make things right for her! I never intended to hurt her. I fell in love, and while that’s not a good excuse, it’s the truth. I’ve always loved Scott. When he offered me something I had never dared to dream of, I seized it without thinking. I thoughtlessly plunged into it, consequences be damned."

As we cried together, we began to untangle the complexities of the situation. It was tough for her to be caught in the middle, but I felt a wave of relief knowing she wouldn’t harbor animosity towards me anymore.

Then she cautiously asked about Scott and our relationship. A part of me bristled; I hesitated, unsure if I could trust her. What if she was just pretending to be my friend to gather information for Cassandra? But I decided to keep it light and shared the less heavy details. She asked if I had met Scott's family and what that experience was like—questions that felt safe to answer. Thankfully, she didn’t pry into the more intimate aspects of our connection.

Later, as the sun dipped below the horizon, I felt a newfound sense of hope amidst the complexities of our lives.

With lots of love.