Crazy In Love (Crushing Hard Series Book 1)

Dear Diary 26/12/2011

22:15 pm

Christmas was EPIC this year. It was the first time we didn’t spend Christmas with my dad’s family. Instead, we decided to celebrate with my mom’s side, and let me tell you, we have been missing out!

The house was buzzing with excitement, full of that festive feeling—kids being loud, laughing, the adults in the kitchen talking and cooking, and all the Christmas classics on TV. It’s not Christmas unless "This Christmas," "Home Alone," and "The Santa Clause" are playing. Those are my go-to Christmas movies.

Nobody even batted an eye when my aunt, who’s almost 50, showed up with her 21-year-old boy toy. Things got real when she found condoms in his wallet—apparently, they don’t use condoms, so she was sure he was cheating. She beat the crap out of him and almost gouged his eyeballs out. We just watched and sniggered, like, "Family, huh? What can you do?"

Moments like that make me glad Scott James hasn’t declared his love for me yet—my family would be way too much for that boy.

Later, my uncle (well, my mom’s cousin) came to pick us up, and we all headed to the farms where the big Christmas celebration was happening. When we arrived, my great-aunt was handing out gifts in a tent. Yes, a tent. We have seriously been missing out on these family gatherings!

I greeted a ton of relatives—couldn’t tell you who was who—and there were so many babies, I gave up trying to remember names. Every kid was just “baby boy” or “baby girl,” and that was that.

After we ate, my sister and I were roped into the kitchen to help our female cousins wash dishes and clear up. Somehow, a cup of red wine ended up in my hand, and let me tell you, washing dishes has never been more fun than when you’re a little buzzed. We were all laughing, and when the wine ran out, we sent the boys to get more. But they took forever because my cousin Pipes (yes, that’s his name) had beef with some guy in the area and they had to fight every time they saw each other. So while we were waiting for more wine, Pipes was out there throwing punches. How rude.

By 5 pm, my mom and aunt wanted to leave, but the party was just getting started. My cousins were singing some song about sex, and people were yelling out the last time they got laid. My cousin Victor and I were the only ones saying, “We’ve never got some!” while others were shouting, “Yesterday!”

We refused to leave, and one of my uncles promised to drop us off later. My mom smiled that smile that said, "I’m only smiling because we’re in public, but if it was just us, you’d be getting a whoopin’," but I was too drunk to care at that point. She left, and the party went wild once the "old people" were gone.

When we ran out of alcohol, we decided to go to another house where my cousin swore they’d have more. But when we got there, the people were so stingy—they sat inside eating their food and didn’t even invite us in. Victor made fun of them for being so cheap, and we all guffawed. We were a menace.

On the way back, my sister squatted down in the middle of the street and just peed. I swear I can’t make this stuff up. Victor and I were laughing, and then we started teasing Pipes because, during my grandmother’s funeral a while back, he missed the entire ceremony because he accidentally locked himself in the bathroom.

Everything after that is a blur, but I do remember dancing a lot. Apparently, my brother and I tore up the dance floor, and people kept telling us how great we were. Now, I’ve never considered myself a good dancer—I’m a coconut, after all. I can nail white dance moves, sure. I could tear up the floor to Black Eyed Peas any day. White people think I’m a good dancer because, well, they have no one to compare me to. But black people? They think I look like a white person dancing. Still, the wine must’ve worked some magic because people were saying I was really good.

Eventually, my uncle drove us home, and Pipes came with us. Now I’m sobering up and watching Pipes, who is still nowhere near sober. He’s brushing my cat, Pom-Pom, whom he usually hates, and muttering, "Why do I love you so much today? Normally, I don’t like you, but today, I love you a lot."

---

In a few days, my dad will pick us up to spend New Year’s with him. Yay… New Year’s at my dad’s is always boring. We’re treated like little kids, and my aunts bribe us to dance with promises of taking us to the beach, which never happens. The best dancer gets R10 from one of the aunts. My parents divorced when we were young, and honestly, I’m still working through that. Dad has a new family, and sometimes it feels like he’s trying to right all his past wrongs with them. Whatever. It is what it is.

Thank goodness we’re only spending the 31st with him, and then we’re heading back for the big festival the next day. It’s our first time going, and we’ve got not just VIP tickets but VVIP ones, courtesy of my mom’s boyfriend, who lives in our neighborhood. My mom’s okay with us going because her boyfriend will be there to keep an eye on us.

Lotsa Love