Remains To Be Seen

Feelings & Affinitys

Diana
"What do you mean this bubbling feeling in your chest Anne?"
"It flutters and stirs like making cookies. But faster. And more sudden."
"Like butterflies?" I asked.
"Yes. Like beautiful orange monarch butterflies. Oh how magnificent they are. The feeling too but I am oh so frightened of it." Anne expresses lying on my bed.
"And it's only with Gilbert that you feel this ...churning?"
"Yes. How ridiculous it is to only appear when around Gilbert Blythe."
"You like him Anne," I said flatly.
"I do not!"
"Anne. You feel this ever since when? When Cole said something about Gilbert having a crush on you?"
"Nearly. A bit before but that meant nothing right."
I looked to Anne as she was clearly daydreaming. Her face turned pink. And she covered her eyes with her hands. She growled and sat up looking at me with tears in her eyes.
"Why did I have to start liking the boy I can't have," she was distraught.
"Anne, you can't help who you like."
"I will take anyone. Anyone besides Gilbert Blythe. Oh how Ruby would surely hate me for even having these thoughts and my having to have spent a week in his very own home just the two of us."
"You're staying over, at his house?"
Anne hadn't told me before. I didn't know she was actually in his house having a very long sleepover. How could she have kept something so relevant from me. This conundrum wasn't one. He welcomed her into his home for an extended time. They spent mornings and noons and nights together like a family would. Like a courted couple would. Anne didn't even know it.
"Anne, could it be true that your feelings are mutual?"
"Who would reciprocate feelings for such an ugly orphan with this treacherous red mop I was thoroughly cursed to call hair."
"It's not beauty solely on the outside dear Anne. Your brain is so beautiful it surpasses all beauty I or Ruby have been forced upon."
She still didn't understand. I only wish to be called intelligent and witty and imaginative. All I receive is praise of my beautiful hair or impeccable skin. Ruby and I have dreamt of a day where a man would love us for anything more than our looks. Anne already had that.
Even Ruby saw that. Even if she had called dibs three years ago. Anne's and Gilbert's connection went beyond what hers and Gilbert's would ever be. Anne was too naïve to see that. She and Gilbert were fated for each other.
"You and Gilbert are destined together Anne. I know that, even Ruby knows that. Miss Stacey too."
"Miss Stacey! Oh god," mortified Anne gasped in horror.
"Why do you think she puts you together for projects and assignments and contests. You both chose your vocations and are the two smartest in the whole class."
"This makes my dilemma impossible. I can not even fathom betraying Ruby like that."
"It's not betrayal," a voice spoke from the door.
Anne and I flinched seeing Ruby and my own mother in the door. Ruby has a small smile. She had heard near our whole conversation. Anne was in shock. Pure self hatred. Ruby stepped in along with my mother. Mother closed the door and had us all sit on the bed.
"Now ladies what is going on here?" My mother asked.
"Anne and Gilbert have a connection deeper than friends and they both have shown that but have not even an exchange of words," I spoke.
"I cannot betray Ruby," Anne gestured. "She called dibs before I even came to Avonlea."
"Ruby what do you think of this, whatIwouldcall nonsense?" Mother asked the small blonde.
Ruby had looked to me. I nodded quickly with encouragement. She needed to speak up so desperately. She needed to say her piece. Make her peace as well.
"I no longer have an affinity to the one Gilbert Blythe. I knew when you had come to town Anne. You were smart and different and Gilbert liked that. Someone who could be friendly competition. A girl who pushes him to think outside the box and work a bit harder to please."
"Ruby I-"
"Anne please. You and Diana are my two very best friends. I want for you to both be happy. If that means Gilbert is your happiness Anne, and you his so be it. I'm over Gilbert Blythe," Ruby stated.
Anne was in mere tears when I hugged my two best friends. We fell partially onto the bet in laughter and tears. My mother had stood going to the doorway. I lifted my head up and mouthed thank you. She smiled and nodded leaving us to it.
Anne left back for the Blythe residence early. Ruby didn't know that part luckily. Anne kept that part of the conversation hushed. And it was for good reason. It would be an ordeal if it were to get out of the walls of my room. School would be dreadful. It'd go back to when she first arrived. The bullying and the teasing all over again.
I worried for Anne constantly. Whether she had the courage to tell the truth to herself yet alone Gilbert. To accept the feelings she was having no matter how fearful. She needed Gilbert more than she knew. And he needed her.