Remains To Be Seen

He's Gone

Anne
I got home from school and collected all the things for Gilbert. He had to be home. I carried the stack of papers and books as I stepped against the soft dirt. The steady path leading me right to the Blythe orchard. I went up to the window and peered in. It was empty. I knocked on the door and heard Delphine as she cried. I must've woke her. Sebastian jumped at the sight of me. I raised my hand for a small wave.
      "What do ya want Anne-girl?" Bash snapped.
      "Is Gilbert in?"
      "Even if he was he wouldn't want to speak to ya. Whatcha want?"
      "I have Gilbert's studies. He's falling behind and Miss Stacey made extra copies for him and were neighbors so I thought I'd bring them by."
      "I'll give em to him when he comes back."
      "Comes back?"
      "Left to Charlottetown. Didn't say how long. Haven't been able to do anything with Delphine cryin about."
      "I wouldn't mind to take care of Delphine so you can get some work done. And I can send for Matthew and Jerry to assist you."
       "We don't want nothin from the Cuthberts," Bash started closing the door.
I stuck my foot between it and he stopped the door. He looked up from my foot to me. I moved my foot back underneath me as I held in a seething of pain.
       "I know you probably heard what I'd done thanks to Diana. And I could never express how sorry I am Bash. But please let me help. We're kindred spirits," I pled.
       "Send Marilla or Matthew. We will take their help," he shut the door fully in my face.
I felt that. It hit hard. The pang in my chest. They accepted the Cuthberts help. Just not this Cuthbert. Not me. I'd truly done a wretched thing. I deserved it all the much. I was a horrible friend. I was supposed to care and protect and love my friends. I destroyed him.
I walked slowly back home. Processing what I had done. Realizing what a huge problem I had made. I stepped into the house and I stopped at the door. Marilla summoned me but I did not answer. I didn't even close the door. She began to scold me about leaving the door ajar and it hit me. I had lost one of my kindred spirits. Two of them. Sebastian and Gilbert. All to my own faults and decisions.
      "Anne. Close your mouth before you catch the flies buzzing about," Marilla said tapping my chin.
I shut my mouth with a sharp inhale. I couldn't cry again. I had to stop crying. He was gone and I couldn't change it. And yet I still had room for more tears to be shed.
     "He's gone," I said with realization.
    "What?" Matthew chimes in looking over his chair.
    "He's gone."
    "Whose gone Anne?" Marilla asked. "Gilbert? Has something happened to the Blythe's?"
    "Marilla-"
      "We must go and help."
     "Nothings happened! He's just gone," I said stepping to put my coat away.
Marilla looked to me confused. I could feel the tears brimming but refusing to fall.
      "He's not dead is he?" Marilla conspired.
      "No of course not. Just gone. He's just gone."
Metaphorically he was. I'd lost him. The one thing I told him I didn't want to happen. The one thing I couldn't fathom. I couldn't bear it. The pain overwhelmed me so much it made me numb. Conversation was useless. School wasn't any better. Ruby's daily dose of gossip couldn't even pull me from the spell. I'd lost a piece of me. And I wasn't so sure I could get it back.
I didn't realize how much I have relied on Gilbert's presence to get me through each day. Class was a bore with no competitor. No competition. There was not a reason to do or try my best. I didn't have an aspiration to pay attention in class. I even started sitting in the back. I would forget my books half the time. I was a different person. Everyone noticed. But no one dared to say a thing. As if they thought I might break.
Marilla noticed me avoiding dinner and conversation. I had no desire to share my day anymore. I had an angst I could tell she disliked. Again, she said nothing like every single person I knew. They just watched. It was like the asylum all over again. The girls that pestered me with dead mice and silenced me into dark corners. Both literally and those in my very mind. And I thought for a moment, what's the use of choosing the fight the dark. Shalt I just let it consume the light parts of me that remain so bleakly.

Maybe....

And at such inconvenience his name came slithering into those very dark thoughts. The memories trying to combat the darkness I was near leaning towards. Some cry for help and hope...lost. He was gone. And I had to accept it and move on.

A/N: A short filler tbh. I needed to get from one place to another. I am only prepping the emotional rollercoaster 🎢