Remains To Be Seen

Ticking By Time

Gilbert
I checked my watch for the hundredth time. The train was late. Winnie sat happily beside me watching the trees pass. She was quiet the whole time. Something I wasn't quite used to. We arrived to Avonlea with a carriage in our wait. I had no idea that Winnie had called for one. That was the moment I truly realized how wealthy her family truly was. She had a new dress today as well. A beautifully made lace parasol as well. She stood with perfect posture. It was like I was looking at a doll. She was beautiful as always but there was nothing deeper than the surface. I didn't even know her age.
The carriage arrived at the carnival and I dismounted it quickly offering a hand to Winnie. She took it gingerly and kept me on her arm at all times. Even when I saw my friends and family. It was as if I had to stay by her side. I couldn't leave to say hello. Bash came over with Delphine. Marilla held the baby as Matthew held her bottle approaching us.
"Hey there Blythe!" Bash smiled.
"Bash," I went to step and greet but was held back.
Winnie stepped up with me. She smiled. I must introduce her to my family. I guess that was only polite.
"Umm Bash this is Winnie," I introduced.
"My lady," Bash bowed his head.
"It is sure nice to see you around here again Gilbert," Marilla smiled.
An announcement chimed across the crowd. It was the cake tasting contest. Marilla said she had to go and see it. Something of that a certain cake was in it. I requested to join her. She allowed so hesitantly looking around her. I followed confused by her presence. Winnie followed trying to start conversation. Marilla and the others letting it die quickly. I had a slight feeling they did not favor Winnie. I wasn't so sure I did myself.
We stood as the first few cakes went through. I was startled by trampling feet and a bright green dress.
"I'm here! I'm here! I made it," the familiar voice spoke out of breath.
My breath hitched in my chest as I met her eyes. The same oceans I thought I'd gotten over. They drowned me all over again. What once was her smile faded into near loss.
"Umm...hi," Anne said, her voice was as lost as mine.
"Uhh. Hi, I-uh-Winnie this is Anne my umm..." I pondered the right word.
The presumed love of my life wasn't right. The girl I love was wrong. Kindred spirit was an Anne saying she wouldn't understand.
    "Schoolmate. Anne this is Winifred my uhh..." I didn't have a word for what we were.
    "Hello Anne. I am Winifred but please, you can call me Winnie. Now do you spell it with or without an E?" Winnie spoke shaking Anne's hand near violently.
    "With the uhh-the E," Anne nodded.
My eyes hit the ground as I was uncomfortable. Why did I think it was a good idea to come here. Why did I bring Winnie really. Was I trying to get back at Anne for leaving me. Then again I was the one who made her leave that day. I drove her away and decided it was her fault. It really wasn't Anne's fault. It could never be her fault.
The silence hung between everyone until a number was called for the cake tasting. Anne's attention was to the stage. They cut into a beautiful white cake with a yellow-orange decoration of florals on it. The judges all went to take a bite but immediately spit it out. The commotion on the stage was heartbreaking for Anne. She then went running away. My instinct was to follow her. I pulled Winnie's arm off me and went after her.
"Anne!" I called as she slowed down from her run.
She turned to me as I stood across from her now.
"Anne what's-?" I asked.
"I wish you two every happiness," she said, glancing towards the tent where I'd left Winnie.
"What?" I was shocked.
"Winifred is a lovely girl-woman," she bounced her hands with every word as if trying to convince herself. "I wish you both every happiness."
    "Umm. Well, I uh..." I had no idea how to react.
I wanted to tell Anne that I hadn't moved on from her. I was trying to experiment the idea. It hadn't worked. Express that I still loved Anne with the same intensity.
"You should go back. Winifred must be worried where you'd gone."
"Anyways, Mary would've thought the cake funny," I ad-libbed.
And she replied back with the same words. The same ones that started the stirring of my feeling for Anne. The same singular word that ignited the start of making my emotions apparent.
"Anyways..." Anne nodded lastly with a sad, close lipped smile running away from me once again.
Where did the time go. What happened to us. I had Winnie waiting. Yet, still I loved her. But she had told me no. Actually, I had made her say no. Hell, I had never even asked Anne clearly. Then again, maybe Winnie's offer could be considered. I'm ahead in my studies. I could quicken that and go with her to Paris. Sorbonne was a dream that would be a real opportunity. A real career in the medical field. A reality I couldn't even imagine.
I checked my watch. What used to be my father's pocket watch. Blythe engraved on the back delicately. I pressed my thumb across the indented etchings. I thought back to what my father had said. When you love someone tell them. And that reminded me of Mary. Her words that I'd nearly forgotten. But reminded me of what I had to do now.
A few days after the carnival I was staring at my watch as I rode the train to Charlottetown. I was to pay Winnie a visit. Her father had given me permission to engage her the night of the carnival. I'd considered it.
It wound through my head all day yesterday. It distracted me from helping rebuild the schoolhouse. Anne seemed to engulf my thoughts more than anticipated. Even when I visited the Berry's to see if the ring I'd dug up from my mother's belongings was adequate. But it didn't feel right. Proposing to Winnie. Something wasn't sitting right with me.
I arrived at her doorstep and knocked. I came face to face with a woman who had a smile that didn't even compare to the name on my mind and in my heart. I couldn't let it progress more than I had let it. A shell sat in the deepest point of my pocket. I held it as I stepped inside the Rose home.

Was I to give up my dream and future for what I desire or settle with a woman I didn't truly love?