Remains To Be Seen

Truth Be Told

Gilbert
I was evil. In the darkest of abysses. The deepest despair. That's what Anne would say. Most would call it an abundance of dramatics. But if this is what it felt like for Anne every time, this was despair.
I hurt the one person I loved most. I promised myself I would be good. I would be much more than a boy with a crush. Because she was worth so much more. She meant so much more. And she had no idea because I didn't tell her. I didn't express that. It was all so new I couldn't compromise the little thing we had going. Mary told me to tell her. She urged it even more as she was on her own deathbed.
Mary passed a week ago. I thought I'd recovered. I haven't. Anne tried to be there for me and I hurt her in the process.
I couldn't go to school this morning. I couldn't fathom facing Anne. I had tried to speak to her yesterday but Marilla wouldn't let me. She refused to even let me past the porch. I stayed in bed all day. Anne has no idea what she does to me. She drives me insane with emotion. It fully engulfs me. Takes over all sense. Like my heart is in overdrive in place of my head.
Bash tried to get me out of bed today but he just couldn't. Delphine needed all his attention now. Delphine, the last glimmer of hope Mary left for us before she died. She didn't even tell us that she knew she was with child. The day came and gone in a second. Not to long after Delphine's birth came Mary's death. The only reason Bash wasn't a wreck was for Delphine.
I listened to the creaking if the house as the weather beat against it. That's all I could do to pass the time. Reading reminded me of Anne. Everything reminded me of Anne. She couldn't leave my mind. Every time I closed my eyes the flaming fire of her hair and deep oceans of her eyes consumed me. Consumed the darkness filling it with the light I desperately wanted to hold onto.
"Coming!" Bash said hollowly echoing through the house under my door.
The door creaked open. I hadn't heard the knock. He invited whomever it was inside. But I didn't bother to get up. He could deal with them himself. It was probably another dish of sorrows for Mary's passing.
"He's in his room," Bash hummed softly.
They were speaking of me. I groaned and shoved my face in the pillow. My own door clicked open. A figure shadowing the sunlight. I glared over at the shoes with the corner of my eye. They were black and much shinier than Anne's. It wasn't Anne. I don't know if I was glad or sad that it wasn't her. But I didn't want the company.
"Go away," I grumbled.
"So you'd rather sulk in self pity and hatred instead of talk honestly with the girl you love. Evading school this morning. That was not a wise move," the voice of Anne's one and only best friend hissed.
"Diana Berry. You're a long way from home," I remarked sitting up.
"And you are far away from fixing the situation with Anne."
"There's nothing to fix. I broke it already."
"Oh please stop being so selfish. Anne was going to come herself but I wouldn't let her."
"Why?!" I said now standing.
"Look at what got you out of bed," Diana scoffed scanning my disheveled self.
"Anne won't take me back. I hurt her she should banish me from being apart of her life."
"Why in the world would Anne do that?"
"She should."
"She won't. She needs you. Just as much as you need her."
"She doesn't need anyone. She's made that pretty clear in the past."
"Key word: the past Gilbert. Now," she scoffed adjusting her books. "You have no idea how much she cares about you Gilbert Blythe. Now go help Sebastian with Delphine," Diana ordered leaving my room.
I stood there not knowing what I should do. I finally got ahold of myself and I found that Diana hadn't left yet. I stepped into the kitchen. Diana holding little Delphine as Sebastian danced making the baby laugh. Diana noticed my presence sending a smile my way. I managed one back best I could for the time. She danced with Delphine in her arms passing the baby to me. Little Delphine instantly making a smile appear on my face. I couldn't even help it. I held Delphine close and kissed her petite head.
"I must be off. Thank you so much for letting me hold Delphine, Sebastian. And I hope to see you at school tomorrow Gilbert," Dianna smiled. "Please let me and my family know if there is anything we can do for you alright?"
Sebastian embraces the girl surprising her happily. She nodded and looked to me. Asking me to go to school tomorrow and face Anne. As much as I didn't want to do that. I had to. I held Delphine closely sending Diana off at the porch. Delphine giggled and I looked down at the tiny human being.
"One day, I'll have one of you as my own," I whispered. "I can only hope it's with the one I truly love."

Diana
Anne was determined to see Gilbert. To fix what had happened. As much as she says she didn't need everything to be perfect, she sure tried. I negotiated to go and check on Gilbert after school for Anne. Though reluctantly Anne agreed.
When I arrived home from Gilbert's, Anne was on my doorstep. She had been waiting for me. She looked upset. She looked quite determined as well. Something had changed in her. From this morning to now. She made some sort of decision.
"What did you do?" I asked.
"I can't have Gilbert," Anne stayed standing across from me now.
"Why not? He's there for you, waiting for you."
"I won't have him. He wants to be a doctor. Not just any doctor, not a country doctor. He wants to go to university. Paris is ideal for him. With the right dame he could get that. With me he would be stuck here. So I cannot have Gilbert and he cannot have me."
"Anne don't do this to yourself."
"It's for the better if I let him go."
"Anne I just spoke to him."
"And I've made my decision. If you don't accept it, then I'm sorry. But I cannot ruin the future of a kindred spirit just because of my own selfishness."
"Where did this come from?"
"From me. From my head not my heart. It's the only reasonable and logical choice."
"You will break his heart and your own."
"Then he will be a successful doctor with a broken heart. And he will hate me for the rest of my life. I'll hate me too."
She was destroying herself. Taking apart everything she believed in for another. So they could live the life they wanted. So Gilbert could achieve the greatness she sees in him. But he won't be at the cost of her happiness. Her smile. When that fades he will not let himself smile. He won't allow her to do this destruction to herself. She does it enough. She did it for Ruby for 2 years as the blonde fantasized over a boy she never truly liked. Anne puts everyone before herself. She refuses to put her happiness before others. She'd rather lose it to see others gain theirs.
"What about you?" I asked painfully.
"My feelings don't matter if Gilbert is happy and living the life he dreams. His dreams are to go to the best medical university and marry the perfect wife and live a happy full life. If it costs me mine and I am like Marilla, I will do so with grace."
"You put everyone first. All of us, even when we don't ask you to. Why won't you let someone for a change, put you first in line?"
Anne shook her head. She knows she had already won this fight. I couldn't stop her from breaking Gilbert's heart. But I could try to soften the blow. Anne left rather quickly wishing me a good night. I don't think she expected my rash decision or two. I didn't even enter my home. Sprinting in the moonlight past Green Gables to the Blythe Orchard immediately.
I pounded on Gilbert's door until he opened it with a smile as he held Delphine who had food along her chin. I couldn't even fake a smile since the news I brought was rather dreary.
"We must sit," I said. "Now."
I pulled Gilbert to the table with Sebastian who would rather like to be in the loop of Gilbert's love life. Delphine was still being bounced in Gilbert's arms. And I could already see it. Anne and Gilbert. A child in his arms, an incredible father. But I couldn't share that hope and dream. I had to tell the truth.

Truth be told...it wasn't pretty