Knock Me Down - [COMPLETE]

11 - On Thin Ice

Translations:
Pinche personalidad - fucking personality
Maldito imbécil - Damn asshole
Hijo de tu perra madre - son of a bitch
Songs mentioned:
Egg by The Garden
What Once Was by Her's
girl in new york by Role Model

The drive is tranquil. I can hear the music a lot better now without Benicio's voice always on ten. The speaker's propped up above the van's radio. The screen reads 'Egg'. It's by The Garden. I've never heard of the band. The album cover under the time line has a picture of a dog over green grass. Definitely gonna add this one later though.

"Do you ever listen to anything that isn't alternative or rock?" The way I ask makes me rush to correct myself, "Not that I'm judging. I do too. This is good. But y-you know, like I wanna know your taste and–and not that this is bad but–"

"I do"

I clear my throat stopping my sputtering. He made me so self-aware that I'd stutter too frequently with my words. I try to get as much of a conversation as I can, "So...um, like what?"

I didn't have many opportunities to be alone with him and if now was the chance then I want to make the most out of it. Plus, my anticipation was dreadful. And knowing I was the only one that felt this way made it worse.

With him things were always one-sided.

He hands me his phone connected to the portable speaker and tells me to go to his second playlist and play a song called 'What Once Was'. The song switches and guitar immediately comes on.

The guitar is really nice. I could imagine most things with guitar appeal to him. The lyrics especially were interesting.

"I like it. Is there more of their music...?" I'm not really asking him since I have his phone to look through. And there is. The band is called Her's. I look through it all. I recognize a few names. I listened to a lot of indie and some Hispanic indie. But I dabbled in just about everything.

"Oh, 'girl in new york' is Holden's favorite song" Jasper's hands grip and shift on the steering wheel. He makes it obvious he doesn't care.

He gave all his playlists strange names. One stood out above the rest.

"The Chorus and the Convicts" I end up reading it out loud, "What's that?"

"Band name"

"I don't know of 'em. You know why they're called that?"

"Who knows" Jasper has both his forearms resting on his lap holding the steering wheel from the bottom.

"None of their music is in this playlist. How come?"

He takes his right hand off the wheel and takes his phone from my hands, "Are you finished playing 20 questions?"

"Sorry" I frown,  "Just wanted to know about what you like, your interests...just in case, you know, you've changed"

He glances at me from the corner of his eye, "Thought you knew everything about me"

"I would know even more if you'd say more than two words to me at a time"

He scrunches his eyebrows a little and mutters, "Does it matter?"

"I'm curious" it's a weak defense but it's not a lie, "I'm not hurting anyone for trying to talk to you"

"Nothing would change. It's meaningless shit. What would you do with that information?" He catches me staring out the window. I don't know what to tell him.

"You'd keep trying to talk to me is what you'd do" He answers for me, annoyed.

"Why does that matter if I do?" It's in a whisper. Jasper intimidated me, I felt like raising my voice just put everything ten times more at risk of being wrong. Fuck knows why I still bother.