Knock Me Down - [COMPLETE]

25 - To Be Kissed

It takes longer than it usually does to get Holden to study with me but when we are, he's distracted. I am too. I'm too inattentive to ask him what's up.

"What'd you get for sixty-five?"

"Here. I drew the model out first" I show him my notebook of work.

He compares his to mine, but I can tell he's not into what we're doing just as much as I am. After we both fuck up another question from not reading the directions properly, we take a break.

"You going to the New Years party at Jackie's house?"

My brother and the track team had told me about it. I wasn't sure if I wanted to. My mom always did something huge the 31st with my entire family, "Maybe"

"You should come, dude. Connor wants you to come too"

"Ha. Look who's warmin' up to Connor"

He rolls his eyes and falls back on my bed. Tina comes in, jumping onto my bed to sniff Holden for 10 minutes like he's a complete stranger. Holden wasn't a cat person but he liked to pet Tina, "I didn't hate the guy in the first place. I just wasn't used to how loud and...random he is"

"You've been hanging out with him more"

His arms are out and he's looking at my ceiling fan, "...yeah?"

"Usually we hang out every couple days" I continue.

He sits up abruptly, taking a pillow and clutching it in his lap. He puts on a cocky look, "What? You jealous?"

"Seems like my closest friend might be getting stolen from me" I shrug, joking.

"Connors been taking my time"

"You know what I think, mate?"

He squeezes the pillow, "...what?"

"I think he might be interested in you" It was an inkling but with not much evidence

His auburn brown eyebrows shoot up and his lips part, "Fuck no, Mateo. I'm not even his type. He likes guys like Jasper. Assholes dressed up like golden boys. I'm not that. Ass at most. Plus, he's weird. Like a less murderous, gay Joker. A Jekyll and Hyde except he's both at all times"

I chuckle because it's true, "Does that bother you?"

"I'm used to his personality by now"

"No, bro, I mean that you're not his type"

He grimaces and pretends to shudder exaggeratedly, "Thank god. Who knows what kind of kinky shit that bloke is into"

My stomach grumbles loudly interrupting further interrogation.

"Fuck. I'm starved. Want me to get some snacks? Plantain chips?"

"The ones your dad makes? Hell yeah" Holden nods, going back to his notes. I get downstairs where we keep the food that doesn't fit in our kitchen cabinets. I take some plantain chips and some trail mix I know Holden likes. I see my brother on the way back up spotting Jasper at our bench press. He's got plates stacked on either side and his eyes are centered at the ceiling. Jasper's sweating, his tan skin is tinted red and some of his veins come out as he stresses his pectorals and arms.

"One more, one more" Benicio urges him, "Good, your feet are still on the ground"

He makes it placing the bar back on the rack and inhales. Going limp on the bench from maxing reps.

Benicio notices me, "You coming down to work out?"

I raise the bag of chips, "Nah, I'm getting food" I acknowledge both of them, "You want anything?"

My brother sits on the ground massaging his muscles with a foam roller, "Nah. I'm good. You, Jasper?"

"I'll take water"

"Oh, wait, yeah me too. I forgot my hydro flask upstairs"

Jasper stands up following me, "I'll grab it"

We're silent when we get to the kitchen. Playing it normal. Doing this falsely casual walk that I almost think I'm doing it oddly. I get to my brother's water first and hand it to my neighbor.

"You look better" I mean about his bruises.

He stands full in height, making his chest glistening with sweat come forward to remind me he was only in track pants, "...do I?"

I blush at the insinuation, "Yeah. Your bruises, dickhead"

A vague smile plays on his lips and he gets closer to me making me back into the kitchen counter. I tense up, since we're in my house where both Holden and my older brother could see.

His expression drops. He reads me well, patting my forearm in a way that's too platonic for my liking, but it relieves me of my anxiety when he whispers gently, "Relax. Just this" And kisses my cheek. I almost want to pull him into me and get him to my lips.

Embarrassed, I don't say anything. He goes back down after taking a water bottle from my fridge and I return to my room stupidly conscious of how good it feels to be kissed by him. To have this, whatever it was.