The Beauty and The Beast

Chapter 11: Remembering

Dracos P.O.V
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"Nothing" she responded monotonously.

My heart clenched as I saw the unspoken pain and hurt in her eyes.

I felt like a monster. I was disgusting. How dare I even think of touching her like that? She didn't deserve anything I gave her. I know there is no excuse and I can't just blame being wasted. I have scarred her and right now, that's all that matters to me.

I physically hurt her

I wanted to run after her and apologise but she was right. No apology I could ever say would ever, ever make her forgive me.

I was a r**pist.

I went over to the bathroom and vomited. The thought alone is so vile and disgusting. How could I do that? Can I stoop that low?

After brushing my teeth three times I went back to the dorm to see Hermione sobbing into the pillow.

All because of me

She was on the phone with someone. Her back was facing up and she couldn't see me so I lay in bed and gently ran soothing circles across her back. I was surprised to see that she didn't move or react to my touch.

"Thanks Luna, I needed that." she said.

"Its okay Hermione, we have already reported him to McGonagol as sexual assault and she was shocked" Luna said.

I'm gonna regret this

I shifted from my position and got over Hermione. I hovered over her then gently rested against her. She felt warm against me and I almost sighed.

"Luna! You're squashing me!" Hermione laughed. That voice filled my ears and I almost melted at the sound of it. I could listen to that laugh all day. Stalker level 100

"What do you mean? I'm in Gryffindor dorm?" Luna asked, confused.

Hermione froze from underneath me, causing her to clench, right where she shouldn't have.
My downstairs area went numb. It's gonna take a couple people to get rid of this.

"Then who's..." she started but then screamed.

She turned her head to see me and her face paled. Her eyes went wide.

"GET OFF ME YOU FILTHY FUCKER!" she yelled at me.

"Hermione look I'm sorry for-" I began.

She froze and shuddered from below me. She looked like she had seen a ghost. Her eyes held fear. Did she think I was going to try do it again or...was she afraid of me?

"Hermione, are you scared of me?" I asked, afraid to hear her answer. She kept silent. I got off from on top of her.

"Don't be scared of me, please." I begged reaching out for her hand and she shook her head and took a step back. I grabbed her hand and wrapped it around my own but she took it back and instead hugged herself.

"Too late" came her scared reply.

I held my face in my hands.

"I didn't-" i started but she shook her head.

"When will you understand that unless you tell me that it wasn't you or you were mind controlled, nothing is going to make me less frightened you or make me forgive you"

"Silencio" i shushed her.

"Can I at least try to explain myself? I was wasted, okay? Drunk beyond belief. I had no control over what-" I said and she stopped me.

Wait the silencing charm! What the hell?

"And who's fault is that?" she asked me.

It was Mums death anniversary. That's why.

"IT WAS MY MUMS DEATH ANNIVERSARY, OKAY???" I yelled at her and she flinched. I immediately felt bad but mum came to mind.

"J-Just, o -o kay? I n-needed time." I said weakly, my words breaking at the end.

"I can't forgive you just like that" she whispered sadly. "I'm sorry"

It's okay though. I didn't expect her to.

"I didn't say that so you forgive me"

"and I never will" she said harshly.

I rose up slowly to intimidate her but ended up failing when she did the same.

I glanced to her lips and nasty thoughts flooded my head. In case it wasn't already obvious, Draco junior was dead to the world. 

I don't know what came over me,  but I was pulled by a sudden urge and I latched myself onto her lips.

I was hit with shock. They were so soft. It felt perfect. I felt like I could do this forever. Well to me at least. Seconds later I noticed she didn't move.

I pulled out and started at her. She looked horrified. Suddenly she began rocking herself back and forth for a minute or two, mumbling something. Her face had paled, her eyes clouded and she passed out. Just like that.

I quickly grabbed her and ran to the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey quickly took her and placed her on the bed. I explained that she passed out, leaving what I did out of it.

She cast a weird spell and wisp left her head. Madam pomfrey added it to water and then chugged it down.

"That's awfully strange. She passed out due to traumatic stress. It seems she had some sort of experience in the last that had traumatised her and she was maybe imagining or reliving it. Unfortunately I am not allowed to access that memory. Give her a couple hours and she will be right back on her feet." she said, smiling.

"Thank you" I responded weakly.

She glanced at me. "You didn't do anything to her, did you?" she asked suspiciously.

My blood froze.

"No ma'am. What makes you say that?"

"I know what you did" she whispered sadly.

"But I know you were mind controlled. You would never do that." she said confidently.

If only she knew.

"No maam" I lied.

***

I sat by her bed, cradling her hand with my own as I waited impatiently. Suddenly, I felt movement beside me.

Her eyelashes fluttered open and her hazel eyes stared back at me in curiosity. She looks so lost and confused. Then something flashed in her eyes. She got up and tried to walk, stumbling.

I got up to catch her but she pushed my hand away.

"Stay away from me, you filthy r**ist" she whispered sadly.

She looked so broken, I couldn't find it in myself to go after her.

So I say there, and watched her walk away.