Fixing Amber (Harry Styles Love Story)

CHAPTER 13- Revelations ...

*Amber's point of veiw*

"Amber, honey." My mother said, while tapping on my door. "Yeah?" I asked, looking up from my book. My mother entered, looking nervous and flustered."As you know, your father's coming home from his business trip tonight" she started. My father was always on business trips, always cool places, like Italy, or England, or Ireland. That's how I was allowed to move so far away for college, my father goes to England frequently. You see, he's an artist. He travels to get inspiration, or he follows his work. They're mostly sculptures, although there are some paintings. He likes 3-D figures better. This time he was in Paris, he wanted inspiration for his newest painting, of which he was having trouble on. Again, not so good at painting, so he needs all the inspiration he could get.

"Yeah?" I asked, signaling her to continue. She shut her eyes and took a deep breath to steady herself before saying, "I'm going to tell him about John tonight." I couldn't possibly imagine how difficult it was for her to say that, and I was proud of her. I stood up from my bed and gave her a reassuring hug. I felt her give in to me, letting out a sigh. "You're doing the right thing" I told her. She pulled back, and I found that she was crying. "I know," she said, wiping her tears, "but it's hard." I took her hand and gave it a small squeeze, to show I was there for her. She smiled a watery smile and said, "I'm going to leave for the airport now. I'm not sure when I'll be back..." She trailed off, probably not knowing what else to say. "It's okay Mom. I'll see you later." My mother nodded, and with that, she left.

·*·*·*·*·

"Hey Amber" Devon said over the phone. He never was for words of endearment, but I didn't care. "Hey sweetie" I said, "do you want to come over?" "Um... yeah, sure" he answered. "I'll be there in a moment." He hung up. I sighed, hanging up too. I was situated on my couch currently, in sweatpants and a tank top, blanket draped over my legs. Remote in one hand, playing with my hair in another. There was something on my mind that I just couldn't get rid of...

It wasn't the same.

With Harry, just the thought of him could give my butterflies. He voice sent tingles down my back. With Devon... I wasn't sure. I didn't seem to have much emotion lately. No, instead I seemed to be stuck in an ever-present funk. As if the world around my continued, but I was still stuck in one moment. Maybe it was the weather? It was dreary out... but, no, that wasn't it...

Was I not in love with Devon?

No, of course I was. There was no doubting that. Or... was there...? The front door opened, Devon walking in. "Hey" he said, shooting me a smile. I faked one back. He walked over and sat next to me, taking some of the blanket from my possession until we were sharing it, half and half. I knew that this shouldn't bother me, this is what normal couples do, but it didn't feel right. Like we were both trying too hard for something that obviously wasn't going to work. I ignored the feeling in the pit of my stomach. This was right. This was meant to be.

He slid his arm around my waist, pulling me onto his lap. WOAH WOAH WAIT A MINUTE. I wanted to squirm, that feeling intensified, this wasn't right, this couldn't be right, I had to tell him how I felt, I had- "Hey babe." he whispered in my ear, interupting my mile-a-minute thoughts. "H-hi" I answered nervously, but he didn't seem to notice, or at least didn't seem to mind. "Do you want to have some... fun?" he asked, and began to kiss my neck.

I didn't answer, but I allowed him. No harm, no foul, right? He reached the nape of my neck, and I began to get a bit uncomfortable. He sliped off the strap to my tank top. NO. I began to reach to pull it back up, but he just murmured, "Shh... it's okay." then his lips were on mine.

I couldn't do anything. I couldn't say anything. He was on top of me, and he was too strong to push off. His hands roamed... everywhere. He touched my breasts, everywhere. It was like before. I couldn't get him off of me. He broke the kiss for air, and that was when I yelled, "Stop!" He sat up, just realizing something was wrong. "What's the matter, babe?" I leapt from the couch, free from his grasp, and began to fix my clothes, pulling up my tank top strap, smoothing my shirt down. "No!" I said, "I don't want to have sex. I value my body."

He finally seemed to realize what I meant, and anger was the first thing I was met with. "This again? This is what destoyed our last relationship!" He leaned back against the couch, running a hand through his hair in exasperation. So many emotions filled me, I couldn't even speak. But after a pause, I regained my speech, and began to yell. "THIS destroyed it? No. No! You destroyed it! You couldn't respect me, or my values! I thought you changed!" He glared at me, and stood up, facing me now. "I thought you changed too! Amber, we're not in High School anymore! We are in the real world now! And in the real world, girls are not prudes!"

Prude. That was what he called me last time too. And it still managed to strike a nerve. Devon seemed to realize what he had done, and tried to redeem himself, steping towards me, saying, "I didn't mean that Amber, I mea-" "Get out." My voice was deadly low, making Devon stop in his tracks. I pointed to the door. "Out." He just stood there, dumbfouded. "OUT!" I screamed, my patience gone. He hung his head and left, not a word spoken. For once in my life I stood up for myself. And it felt good.

·*·*·*·*·

So, obviously, I was confused as hell, as any regular human being would be. I mean, no relationship worked out, both left me alone and heartbroken, and now I sat in my room. Unlike the clichéd stories go, I did not cry my eyes ot with a tub of ice cream for comfort (although that did, and still does, sound like a good plan). No, intead I sat alone on the floor in tiny room, thinking things over.

Over the time that had elasped since Devon left, I learned a few things about myself.

a. I was right when I said before that running from the past wasn't getting me anywhere. But, I learned that letting yourself get sucked back into it is even worse. 

b. Devon is a douche (that's not really about me... but it was needed to be said. C'mon, you were all thinking it!). 

c. I'm still madly in love with Harry.

I was planning on going from there. Suddenly, a loud bang interupted my thoughts. I imeadiately raced down the steps to find my Mom and Dad... making out, the front door wide pen behind them, both leaning up against the wall. THAT IS SOMETHING YOU NEVER WANT TO CATCH YOUR PARENTS DOING. Like a retard, I screached, "MY EYES! THEY BURN!" My parents seperated and faced me, blush covering both of their cheeks. "Oh, um... Hi honey." my Dad said. " Me and your father had a long disscusion tonight, and it's okay, we're going to work things out." my Mother informed me, and I nodded, pretty sure the look of disgust was still clear on my face. "I'm gonna leave you two to have some time... alone" I said, ducking past them and out the door, slowly making my way up the road. I wasn't sure where I was going, but I reached the top of the hill pretty quickly. I looked out across the sky, stars not even peeking through the polution-filled New Jersey air. I sighed, wondering what the future had in store for me...

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