Skeletons

apology

I apologize so much
That I'm sorry
Is apart of my vocabulary
It's kind of
One of those automatic things
Like saying bless you
When someone sneezes

Sometimes I just say it
With no reason
And most of the time
I don't even mean it
Like when someone
Bumps into me

I turn around and say
"Oh I'm sorry"
And they just kind of
Ignore me

And see it's just...
It feels like everything
Is my fault
Even when it's not

Maybe Im just overthinking it
Right...
But according to everyone else
Somehow it's my fault

Like I clearly should of
Moved out of that girl's way
When I saw her coming towards me

And I should of just
Kept this all to myself
Instead of writing a whole poem
About it
I'm sorry

That you had to read this
I know that this topics repeated
But when you have such low
Of a self esteem
You feel you constantly
Need to to give
An apology

Blame it on past trauma
Blame it on poor traits
Hell blame it on me
Constantly making mistakes

I think there's supposed to be a message here
But honestly I just want to make
The message clear

I don't try to give meaningless
Apologies
Here and there
No really when I do it
I honestly care

Believe me
It's not easy
Listening to it all the time

So I'm sorry just please
Give me one more try
Thank you
No, really
For reading this

I know sometimes
I can get upside myself
But no thank you
For just reading this
It honestly helps

No need to apologize
Just wanted you to realize
Why I do this
All the time

And I hope it opened your eyes
Cause it damn shore opened up mine