Why did the boy throw his clock out of the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly!
Why did the man carry a torch [flashlight] in his bag?
To lighten his load!!
Why do people like working in clock factories?
Because they get to make faces!!
Why was was the broom late for work?
Because it over swept!
A garden path and a road were sitting in a bar when another path came in and threw them out.
"You can't do that!", said the barman.
"I can do anything I like!", said the path in an angry voice, "Everybody knows I'm a bit of a cyclepath!"
A duck walks in a bar and asks, "Have you got any bread?"
"No!", says the barman.
"Have you got any bread?", asks the duck
"No!", says the barman.
"Have you got any bread?", asks the duck
"No!", says the barman.
"Have you got any bread?", asks the duck
"Ask that again and I'll shoot you", says the barman.
"Have you got a gun?", says the duck
"No!", says the barman.
"Have you got any bread, then!!!", asks the duck.
What did the sea say to the boat?
Nothing, it just gave a little wave!
Why are pirates called pirates?
Just because they aaaaaaaarrrrrrrhhhhhh!
How do you make a sausage roll?
Give it a push!
How do you make a french fry?
Leave him in the sun!!
What's brown and sticky?
A stick!
Did you hear about the tap dancer?
He fell down the sink and broke his leg!!!
What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?
A nervous wreck!
What do phonebooks wear?
a-ddress-es!
What is purple, spiky and goes up and down yelling HELP!!?
A gooseburry stuck in a lift!!
What did one wall say to the other one?
I'll meet you at the corner!
