"Jem? You awake in there?"
My head snapped up at Calum's voice on the opposite side of the door. I had been awake for awhile now. I was contemplating wether or not I should talk to Calum about the cupboard.
I don't know why I had a feeling in my gut that it was more than what it looked like. Something was wrong, I knew it.
"Yeah, I'm up," I spoke, propping myself up on my elbow. The door opened and Calum stepped in, dressed in a sweater and a beanie.
"Good morning," Calum smiled as he leant against the doorframe, "I almost completely forgot you were here." He snorted, crossing his arms over his chest with a chuckle.
One thing that confused me about Calum was how he constantly changed. When I met him, he was loud. He made jokes, and laughed a lot. When I saw him not too long after, he didn't speak a word. Then he would talk, casually, not too excited but also not bored. Last night he seemed off; a lot. He fidgeted and dazed off a bit. Now, he's back to being casual and kind.
"Do you think I can- I can talk to you really quick?" I blurted out, sitting up in the bed. The smile on his face faded and he nodded, not moving from his spot.
I didn't know what I was going to say. I was really curious about the cupboard for some reason, I just wanted to know if there was a reason behind it, like all the pills.
I bit my lip, patting the bed beside me. He glanced at the spot and then sat down hesitantly. The whole situation reminded me of a child getting caught red-handed by their parent for something embarrasing.
"Last night, when I was in the kitchen getting a drink," I spoke slowly, glancing at him. I didn't want him to think I was sneaking around his house, invading his privacy. I just saw the cupboard open and I got a little curious. I know thats bad, I just wanted to see though.
"I saw one of the cupboards open and I saw a lot of.. stuff, I guess. I don't know. I don't even know if they're yours. I just really wanted to know why you have them," I spoke quickly, "All of the pill bottles and stuff. I got a little worried, I guess."
"Oh." Calum said quietly, looking away from me. Now he had his lip between his teeth, and his hands held his sweater sleeves against his palms tightly.
I looked at him, frowning now. I didn't know what to do. Being nice would be the best way to go about it, right?
When I was about to speak, Calum's head lifted up and he looked at me, expressionless. The only thing that carried emotion were his eyes.
"The only person who really knows about that cabinet is Luke, and why it's all there," he mumbled, shifting on his spot of the bed, "I hadn't really needed to tell anyone else."
"You don't have to tell me, not if you don't want to."
Calum only shrugged, then looked down again. He was shaking the same way he was the night before in the hall.
"I guess, it's not that big of a deal. I mean; I cope well. I'm better now."
I frowned at him, he wasn't making any sense. As if I wanted to know before, I just wanted to know more now. And I was more worried about him.
Calum opened his mouth to speak, but he hesitated and shut his eyes for a few seconds before getting the words out.
"I started going to therapy about three months ago. At first I really didn't want to go, so I skipped it a few times. Michael didn't know why I was going, but he kept saying I had to go and sometimes he would come to my house and drive me there without me asking. He was really concerned, I guess. I don't know why. I think Luke told him I had to, so he made him." He spoke quickly, glancing at me a few times. I didn't know where this was going, but I wanted to know so I listened as he continued.
