Luke's POV
I can't remember the last time I was at Ashtons house. Once I pulled up in my car and saw his truck, I started feeling a little sick.
I asked Jem to stay back and wait at the house for me to get back because, really, I didn't know exactly what I was going to even say to him or what was going to happen. I didn't want her to be there incase something similar to Michaels situation happened.
After staring at the small house for a little while, suddenly dreading the thought of going to talk this through, I climbed out of the car and took a deep breath. It couldn't be that bad, right? We had several fallouts, but I was getting sick of those. As much as I hated to admit it, I didn't want to hate Ashton, even though it seemed like I did.
Hesitantly, I knocked on the door. A few seconds later, the door opened and Ashton stood infront of me, looking completely dumbfounded.
"Luke?"
"Obviously."
He rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest as he eyed me, "What do you want?" He mumbled, sighing quietly.
"Just to talk about whats been going on lately." I shrugged, stuffing my hands in my pockets.
Ashton furrowed his eyebrows but nodded anyways and moved out of the doorway a little more, "Might as well come in, then." He spoke, motioning a hand to come in, which I followed. It felt weird to be in the house again after so long.
"First off," I started once the door was closed, "what happened with Michael?"
I followed Ashton to the living room as I waited for him to explain. Once we were both sitting, on opposite couches, he sighed loudly and looked at me. "We were just talking, casually, like I was still apart of the group," He murmured, "I liked it. But then, in my head, I was realizing I wasn't, like, 'oh my god, I'm not apart of the group, I don't matter to them anymore'." He spoke quietly and glanced away, running a hand through his hair, "I mean, I don't know why I would. I've been such a dick to you guys- mainly you, Luke- I'm surprised you put up with me for this long. I don't know why I'm like that. I just got angry all of a sudden."
I sighed loudly, dropping my head into my hands and tangling my fingers in my hair. I don't know what I was supposed to say. This whole thing was so frustrating.
I looked up at him, and he was just sitting there, looking off a little blankly.
"We miss you, Ashton. I think we've been putting that feeling off, but we miss you, and you're still apart of the group." I mumbled, watching as his head snapped in the direction of mine, the same dumbfounded look on his face.
"Listen," I continued, crossing my arms, "We all want to see you again. I've been so angry towards you because of the way you treated Jem, so I thought I should be the one to talk to you since it was basically, in a way, the situation between you and me thats made this worse than it was."
For a second, we just looked at each other, as if expecting the other to say something.
"I'm sorry, Luke," He muttered eventually, "I wish I could tell you why I was like that, but I don't know why yet. I'm seeing someone who might be able to help me at all, if theres some sort of.. problem, or whatever, with me."
I looked at him in confusion, furrowing my eyebrows slightly, "What do you mean?"
Ashton cleared his throat, suddenly looking embarassed, "We're not talking about that, so don't ask." He shot me a glare, and I held up my hands in fake defense. I swear he smiled for a second.
The silence that came after was so loud, my head hurt. I was surprised that Ashton seemed so calm since I've been here, because he's usually so loud and laughing and giving back snappy answers to almost every question given him, despite his up-beat attitude, but this time he was serious- in a good way. I didn't think Ashton would be the type of person to take matters into his own hands.
"All I can say is I'm sorry. About everything, and Jem especially." The last part was almost inaudible, but I heard it. I couldn't say it was okay, though.
I shrugged, clearing my throat quietly before I spoke, "Uh, I think I'm gonna go now.."
Ashton nodded hesitantly and stood up, running a hand through his hair, which was getting incredibly long. I hope the only problem with him is the fact that he probably hasn't gotten a haircut in months.
He followed me as I walked myself to the front door, stuffing my hands in my sweater pockets.
"We'll see you soon, hopefully."
Ashton shrugged, looking away from me. I didn't notice the slight bags under his eyes till now.
"Maybe. I'll work it out. 'M getting kind of sick being alone all the time now," He paused, looking at me finally, "You guys were really the only people who put up with me."
I pressed a tight smile, nodding at the statement, "Yeah, I guess we were. I'll see if I can get the others to come and talk to you."
He let out a sigh then, but it was like it was a sigh of relief. Even as I said it, I felt like a little of the weight on my shoulders was pulled off. Maybe this would actually work out. Worrying about Ashton and being so angry with him were both things that made it so hard to carry myself around.
**
As I walked through the front foor, Jem was just sitting on the couch, clicking through channels on the tv. When she noticed me, she got up so fast, I was a little surprised that she didn't immediately start getting lightheaded and pass out. Jem started asking so many questions at once, my head spun.
"It was okay, nothing happened." I shrugged, wrapping my arms protectively around Jem and lightly kissing her forehead. Jem nodded, a quiet huff of air coming out from her mouth, "I was a little worried."
I smiled lightly and leant my head back, glancing down at her, "About what? I wouldn't have let anything happen."
She shrugged, catching her bottom lip between her teeth.
"I think that Ashton might come back though, once a few things are sorted out." I mumbled, looking at her.
"Thats okay? Like, with you and all.." She asked quietly, returning my stare.
I nodded, sighing softly, "Yeah. I think hes changed, but we'll see."
//
this sucks so much im so sorry lmao ! also im 2 weeks late on updating again sry /:
lately i havent been feeling the best and ive been pushing everything out of the way and havent been getting around to writing so updates are slow
but !!!! ashton and luke are sort of making up and its getting better do u see
ill TRY and update on friday like im supposed to be,, but if not, until next time uwu
- liberty
