Athena

Release

    I arrived at Jamie's club house today. Everyone was very welcoming, they all had a smile plastered on there faces. It was a little overwhelming, the happiness I mean, I barely got any of it growing up and the little I did was from Ally. God, Ally, I shouldn't have left her but she insisted I come and spend time with Jamie, so we can get to know eachother.

  I really do want to get to know him but I dont think I'm ok with being here alone. I dont trully know these people and trust doesn't come easy. I'm currently following a guy that goes by the name of Digits -wich has intrigued my curiosity- to the kitchen. When there I'm surprised to see a clean white kitchen. White counter tops and floors, white cabinets, stainless steel appliances, theres an island in the middle of it with a big sink and pots hanging from the ceiling. The kitchen is any women's dream, well maybe not any women just the ones that actually enjoy to cook, although I would like to say it looks impressive I'm sure anyone can do alot more than I would be able to in this beautiful beast of a space.

  Digit walks through the kitchen and leads me to a patio in the back yard. Showing me a pool that I plan on not using for the remainder of my stay. I'm not planing on parading almost naked in a place full of men. We go back in through some french doors leading to what looks like a play room. Theres a gaming system, pool tables, a small bar, recliners and a projector. Not alot in hear but I'm sure it gets used often due to how worn out the recliners look. Next we go up the stair and he points at different doors and at the very last one he stops and opens the door.

"This would normally be Vegas room but he is going to be gone for a while and we are going to have to get a room ready for you so in the mean time. Welcome to your cave." He smiles at me and steps aside for me to walk in.

  Inside I'm meet with a dark brown bed and dresser all the drawers full of his clothes. Green sheets and hard wood floor but that wasnt what had me drooling, on the wall right infront of the bed is a beautiful drawing of trees and leaves, resembling the forest. If you look closely you can make out different animals hiding behind trees and on branches. On the wall to the left of the bed there are glass doors leading to a balcony with 2 long chairs and a chest that after checking I'm overly exited to say has blankets and pillows. Back inside I noticed 2 other doors wich I guess have a bathroom and closet hiding behind.

  I make my way to my suitcase and pull out some pijamas and my kit ready to take a nice warm shower and sleep. Before going in the bathroom I lock the door and make sure the bathroom door is also locked i debate whether or not i should shower naked or keep my underwears and decide the later option. I dont know these people and they might be watching or might be waiting to come in and get a share of me.

  I turn on the shower and step in still in my under garments, I let the water wash the sweat and dirt of my body before reaching out of the shower and pulling my kit off the floor. I sit under the runing water and pull out my blade, I hesitate for a minute but it doesn't really last long. In a blink of an eye I'm runing my blade along the inner side of my thigh, letting it cut in to my skin and draw blood. At first like always it stings but after the first 2 cuts I beging to feel relaxed and decide to put the blade away and just sit there for a while watching the water wash the trail of blood down my leg, enjoying the calm feeling it brings me to know that at any point if I cant handle myself anymore I can always just end my suffering and everyone elses.

  I ended my shower a few minutes after. Dressing in a oversized shirt and basketball shorts I head to the balcony and sit on one of the chairs with a blanket thrown over my legs. I watch as the sun sets and listen in to my surroundings hoping to find some tipe of noise that will help me fall asleep and when nothing really does I take matters in to my own hand.

  I looked for my phone hoping to have some one in the area that could pick me up and help me tire my body long enough to fall asleep. Although I have always been a person to stick to the comfort of my room I have also developed a habit of depending on others for certain things. And this was one of them I scrolled through my contacts till I found the name I was looking for. Alex, I meet Alex online in a chatt for lonely people called One Night it was supposed to be something for a one night stand but after that one night we exchanged numbers we later found out we live far from each other but he would make the drive every once in a while. He never asked why I was doing this and I never asked why he would do it. We would stick to the no talking rule quite well and that was something very important to me I wasnt ready to talk and as people say let it all out. So I was thankful that he was minding his own business and I'm sure he was thankful I was minding mine. I hit the call button and brought the phone to my ear to wait for him to answer.