Please Don't Leave Me

Chapter Twenty Seven

TW: Self Harm, Panic Attack, Vomit
Remus gripped his hair tightly as his thoughts screamed at him. He looked around frantically, his eyes landing on a disposable razor. He placed it on the ground and stomped on it, effectively breaking the plastic. He fell to his knees and pulled out the razor, harsh sobs wracking his body. He sliced his arm quickly, his thoughts pushing him forward. He hacked at the skin until blood was covering his arm. He couldn't breathe, his panic taking control of his body. He stared at his bloodied arm, becoming aware of what he had done. Only then did he hear his parents' frantic screams on the other side of the door. He let out a heart wrenching scream, his thoughts terrorizing him. THEY DESERVE SO MUCH MORE. KILL YOURSELF.

"Remus! Please stop!" Logan screamed as he pounded on the door. "Papa," he whimpered. "Yes, yes I'm right here. Open the door, Remus," Logan shouted. Remus shakily crawled toward the door, turning the lock with a weak hand. Logan swung open the door. "No, no, no," he cried as he fell to his knees and pulled his son close. "Re," Patton whimpered through his tears. "Patton, I need you to get the first aid kit," Logan said firmly through his tears. Patton nodded before digging through the cabinets for the kit. "I'm sorry," Remus cried out over and over. "Shh, it's okay, we're here. You're going to be okay," Logan whispered in his ear. "Here," Patton said, handing the first aid kit to his husband quickly. Logan dug through it, finding disinfectant and bandages. "Re, I need to wash off the blood," Logan said as he pulled the boy to his feet. Remus watched as his blood washed down the sink, his eyes locked on his cuts. "Don't look at your arm. Look at me," Logan said to the boy, attempting to hide his fear. Remus looked up at Logan, focusing on his features. Logan grabbed the disinfectant and poured some on a tissue. "This is going to sting," Logan said softly, cringing when Remus cried out at the burning sensation. "It's over now, my love. I'm sorry," Logan rushed out as he grabbed the gauze and bandages. He wrapped his arm securely, effectively covering the cuts. Logan took a deep breath when he finished, pulling the boy tightly in his arms once more. "I'm so sorry," Remus whimpered into the man's chest. "Thank god you're okay," Logan muttered, his voice cracking. Patton stepped forward and wrapped his arms around his boys. "I'm sorry Dad," Remus whispered. Patton just held him tighter. "No, I'm sorry. I thought that they had changed. I couldn't have been more wrong," Patton said sadly. "Not your fault," Remus muttered. Patton sniffled as he hid his face in Logan's shoulder.   Remus tightened his grip on the men, gripping the back of their shirts. Patton looked down at his boy and his expression changed from one of sadness to one of anger. Remus looked up and noticed his expression, his body shaking. "D-Dad? I-I'm sorry," he whispered. Patton shook his head. "I'm not mad at you, bud. I'm mad at my parents for hurting my boy so badly," Patton replied. He pulled away from the hug, turning toward the door. "I'll be back. I have to go have a talk with them," Patton said through gritted teeth, moving out of the room quickly. He only stopped when he felt a hand grab his. He turned around in confusion, seeing that it was Remus who had stopped him. "I'm coming with you," Remus said softly. "No, Re, I can't have them hurt you anymore," Patton pleaded. "I said that I would support you," Remus responded, looking into Patton's eyes fiercely. Patton nodded before looking up at Logan. "Please come with us. I don't want anything else to happen," Patton begged. Logan nodded, following the pair out of the room and down the stairs. The Harts were sitting on the couch, acting as if they hadn't almost driven Remus to suicide. Patton looked at them with disgust. "Do you have any idea what you've done?" Patton asked, venom lacing his tone. Both parents looked up at him with shocked yet angry expressions. "That is no way to speak to us, Patton," his mother said. Patton scoffed. "You almost killed my boy, and you think that I'm still going to be kind to you?" Patton asked. Remus flinched at the word 'killed'. Logan took notice and placed a soft hand on his shoulder, calming the boy slightly. "Don't be dramatic, Patton," his father said, rolling his eyes. Patton let go of Remus' hand and stormed up to his parents. "Are you kidding me? I let you treat me like trash for my whole life just so that you would love me. Now, I finally have a family that loves me as I am and you tried to take them away from me. I hardly think that I'm being dramatic," Patton shouted. His parents looked at him with intense glares. "Get out of my house and stay away from my family," Patton said frighteningly low. The Harts looked at him in disbelief but stood from their spots. As they made their way to leave, Mr. Hart stormed over to Remus and grabbed him harshly by the arm, whispering something quickly in his ear before Logan could pull him off. Logan yelled at the man harshly as he pushed him toward the front door, slamming the door behind the couple. Remus stared blankly ahead of him in shock. Patton ran over to the boy and grabbed his shoulders, desperately trying to get him to respond. "Re? What did he say to you?" Patton asked. However, Remus didn't even acknowledge his presence. His mind was repeating the words that the man had said, echoing loudly in his head. Logan took notice of the boy's unresponsiveness and approached the pair quickly. "Remus, it's just Dad and Papa. They're gone now. It's okay," Logan said, attempting to keep his voice level. Remus continued to stare straight ahead, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly open. The words of Mr. Hart swirled in his mind, mixing with the very similar words of his father. Images of the night that his father had said those words to him flashed in his mind. His face paled as the thoughts pulsed in his head. Logan noticed the way the color drained from his face and the queasy expression that adorned his features. His eyes widened as he picked up the boy, running as fast as he could to the bathroom. Just as he set him in front of the toilet, Remus began vomiting violently. Logan dropped to his knees beside him, rubbing his back lightly. Patton entered the bathroom, his heart breaking at the sight. When Remus' stomach was empty, he fell back against Logan, his body going limp. Logan wrapped his arms around the boy and held him to his chest. "Re? Can you hear me?" Patton asked shakily. Remus looked up slowly and nodded, his eyes still glossy. "What did he say to you?" Patton asked, fearing the answer. Remus shook his head. "Bad," he whispered. Logan brushed the boy's bangs out of his face. "I knwo it was bad, love, but we need to know what he said," Logan said softly. Remus took a deep breath. "F-finish," he said softly. Patton looked at him in confusion. "Finish? Finish what?" he asked desperately.

"Finish the job next time."

Patton let out a heart wrenching sob at that.