Please Don't Leave Me

Chapter Twenty Eight

TW: Attempted Murder, Panic Attack, Mention of Self Harm
The only sounds that could be heard in the small bathroom were the harsh sobs coming from Patton and the soft reassuring whispers from Logan. Remus was wrapped in the pair's arms, but he couldn't bring himself to cry. The images of the night that his father had used a very similar phrase were clouding his mind. He wanted them to go away. Patton and Logan made the bad thoughts go away.

"Dad? Papa?" Remus asked quietly. Both men looked down at him with concerned looks. "Can...can I tell you something about my past?" he whispered, looking at the ground. "Of course, my love," Logan said, tightening his arms around the boys. "It's really bad," he mumbled. "Only tell us if you want to," Logan added. Remus nodded. "Come on, let's move to the couch, yeah?" Logan said softly. Remus nodded, standing on shaky legs and moving into the living room, clinging onto Patton's arm for support. Logan and Patton sat on one end of the couch, Patton wrapped securely in his husband's arms. Remus sat as far from them as he could. "B-before I start, please don't touch me while I tell you. I don't want to think about you when I talk about them," Remus said, looking up at his parents with pleading eyes. They both nodded sadly, terrified of what they were about to be told.

"The thing that Mr. Hart said to me was very similar to something that my father had said on the night that Roman and I were taken away from our house," Remus started shakily. "That night, my father was especially angry at me. He had asked me to get him a drink, but I had tripped and shattered the cup when I brought it to him. He...he hit me and slammed me against the wall until my head was bleeding. R-Roman got scared that he would kill me, so he snuck into our parent's room and grabbed the phone, calling the police. Right when the police picked up, our mother found him and slapped him hard across the face. She grabbed him and brought him to my dad, throwing him onto the floor. She told my dad what Roman had done. He was furious. He looked back at me and for the first time, he smiled at me. I-I had thought that he changed his mind or that he was going to apologize or something. Then he said, 'I think it's time I finished the job.' Then he...he...," Remus stuttered, sobs wracking his body. Patton moved to reach out for the boy, but Logan caught his arms quickly, urging him to stay still. "He reached into his pocket and he pulled out a gun. H-he s-shot me in the shoulder. He picked me up and t-took me into his room. H-he threw me into their closet. My mother threw Roman in after me, slamming the door shut and locking it. Roman began banging on the door, begging for them to let us out. My mother just laughed a-and said, ' That's your punishment for calling the police. You get to watch your brother die. It's your fault he's dying, Roman.' I-I couldn't breathe, theres was so much blood. R-Roman tried to apply pressure to my shoulder, but it wouldn't stop. I-I remember telling him that I loved him right before I blacked out. When I woke up, I was in the hospital. Roman was sitting in a chair next to my bed, holding my hand tightly. He explained that the police had found us and that we weren't going to live with our parents anymore. I cried for hours, clinging tightly to Roman. T-the doctor said that he was shocked I was alive, since I had lost so much blood. T-they stitched up the hole and then Roman and I got taken to the orphanage," Remus finished, his breathing labored. Patton and Logan looked at him with heartbroken expressions. Both men had tears streaming down their cheeks. Remus finally looked up at them, looking absolutely terrified. "D-Dad," Remus whimpered. Patton looked at him sadly. "Is it okay if I touch you now, Remus?" Patton asked cautiously. When Remus nodded, Patton ran forward and hugged the boy tighter than he ever had before. "My baby boy," Patton said through his tears. Remus hugged back just as tightly. "I-I love you," Remus whimpered out. Patton breath caught in his throat. "I love you too, Remus. So much," Patton replied, kissing the boy's forehead. Remus pulled away and threw himself into Logan's arms, burying his face in his chest. "I love you too, Papa," Remus cried, wrapping his arms tightly around the man. "I love you as well," Logan replied, holding him tightly. Remus looked up at the pair. "I-I know that I don't deserve you. But I-I want you more than anything," Remus sobbed out. "You have us, buddy. We're right here, and we'll always be here for you," Patton said, sitting next to Logan and wrapping his arm around the boy, rubbing his back softly. Remus' sobs were growing in intensity, the images of his past and his current emotions overwhelming him. He began hyperventilating, his body shaking violently. "Re, I need to to breathe for me," Logan said. His words went unheard by the boy, who continued to sob out all of his emotions. Patton and Logan shared a panicked look, unsure of what to do. Patton thought hard for a moment before coming up with a possible solution. "I know he's a bit old for this, but I think it may work," Patton said as he stood from his spot. "Come here bud," Patton said softly. Remus shakily turned toward the man, standing slowly. Patton placed his hands under Remus' arms, lifting him up on his hip. Remus buried his face in Patton's shoulder and wrapped his arms tightly around his neck. Patton started swaying slowly, rocking the boy in his arms. Remus continued to cry out harshly, clinging to the man. Patton began singing softly, filling the room with a calming melody.

Remus' sobs lessened slightly at his dad's voice. The sound mixed with the comforting sways lulled him until he was no longer sobbing. He was left leaning against Patton, silent tears streaming down his cheeks. Patton kissed the boy's cheek softly. He continued to rock his son until his tears were dry. Remus lifted his head off of Patton's shoulder, wiping his cheeks. "I'm sorry," Remus whispered. "Hey, don't apologize. This is all my fault. I shouldn't have let them come anywhere near you. I'm the one who should be apologizing," Patton said, setting the boy down softly. Remus looked down at his bandaged arm. "I'm sorry that I hurt myself," Remus whispered. Patton reached out and brushed the boy's hair back softly. "I'm just so relieved that you're safe. I don't know what we would do if you...you..." Patton felt his throat tighten with emotion, unable to bare the thought of losing his child. Remus felt so incredibly guilty. He looked down at the floor, unable to meet his parents' gazes. "I know I'm a lot to handle," Remus said softly. "But I'm so grateful that you kept me." Patton and Logan looked at him with loving expressions. "We love you more than anything in the world, darling. You're our son, no matter what happens," Logan said as his eyes became misty.

Remus nearly launched himself in the man's arms.