Step Brother 2: Jealousy (Completed)

Thirty Four

This chapter will start at the present, and then it will go back to the past.
I will let you know, so you aren't confused.

Present Day

He walked in so full of confidence. There was something about him that made me feel drawn to him. Not in a sexual way, it's hard to explain, but it was just something about him. I looked at him, and it was like I knew him.

"Hi, Kate. I'm Cooper." He said shaking my hand, with a bright white smile. "Hi." I was shy, and awkward. I tried hard not to be, but he was a stranger. I didn't expect him to be here. I was thrown into this without a single warning.

He proceeded to greet Sabrina, and her husband, before he sat down. Sabrina topped up our glasses of wine, before she poured a fresh glass for Cooper.

"So, Kate. Tell me about how you know Sabrina?" He said softly, like he expected me to be brief. "Well, I'm Sabrina's best friend." I said jokingly, knowing him and Sabrina were quite close too. He pouted jokingly, before letting out a chuckle.

"We met well before I had my first daughter, and got married. She's been my rock. I have a son now, and I guess I'm great full that life didn't separate us, but in fact it brought us closer together."

Our night went well, we all laughed and joked. Cooper seemed like a great guy, perfect almost, but I knew it would only ever be a friendship, he wasn't Rome. I wasn't ready to let go, my heart wasn't, and right now I was okay with that.

Sabrina and her husband went to bed, leaving me and Cooper alone. We cracked open another bottle of wine to share, while we chatted on the sofa.

"Sabrina says your husband is dead?... " my face must have dropped because as soon as the words left his mouth, I could tell he so wanted to retract them. "Yeah, he died over a year ago." I said taking a sip of my drink. "I'm sorry." He says softly with kind eyes. "It's okay, he changed at the end, he wasn't the man I fell in love with. So for me I grieved for him long before his death."

"Wanna talk about how you met?"

"I'll tell you what.. I'll talk about after I gave birth to our daughter, okay?"

I didn't want to talk about how we met, I didn't want to feel that guilt, and to be honest, I didn't want to be judged for it, even if it was justifiable to judge me.

"Deal." He said topping up my glass.

Okay so we're heading into the past. When Kate, or Cooper speaks (in the present) while she talks about her past, it will be in bold.

Past

I was so excited to get her home, where we could soak up every second with her. You see I had another baby before Kaida. I named her Rio, but she passed away months after she was born. So I was so thankful to get a second chance, but I was also scared.

Our first night home, I couldn't sleep a wink. Every time my eyes would close, I would jump up out of the bed to check if she was breathing. Logan begged me to sleep, but I honestly couldn't, no matter how tired I was.

Eventually I had went 2 weeks with no sleep, and honestly I looked and felt like a Zombie. Logan took time of work, he promised he would take care of her if I slept. He was a great father, I knew he would take care of her, so I slept.

But, the sleep didn't help the sadness I had in the pit of my stomach. I didn't even fucking know why. What had I to be sad about? I couldn't even talk to anyone, because how can you tell someone how you feel, when you don't even know yourself?

So I kept it all bottled up.

Eventually Kaida reached 6 months old, and I remember it like yesterday. Logan had returned from work. And you know when I think back, he had marks on his neck, I assumed he got hurt or something. How stupid was I? not to know they were love bites. Anyway, he told me to take a relaxing bath, while he got Kaida to sleep.

I dressed up in my sexy lace bodysuit, and entered our bedroom, where he was laying on the bed, I crawled onto his lap, but he didn't want me. He said he was too tired. Obviously now I know, it's because he already had sex that day.

Each day I had been feeling more worthless, more ugly, and more empty.

⚠️ Distressing content ahead. ⚠️
Read at your own risk...

I went into the bathroom. I took out a razor, broke it apart, and glided the blades down my arm.

I'm sorry. I'm just realising I don't think I was ever truly happy with Logan. And... I was hurting myself because I was so unhappy with him. I forced myself to try love him, I forced myself to stay with him. When in reality when I met him my mind was fucked up. Again I realised I wasn't thinking straight, it was too late, I was marrying him, and I was pregnant.

Kate, why are you punishing yourself?

Because I deserve to be punished.

You're not a bad person. We've all made mistakes. As long as you didn't make your mistakes maliciously, then you most definitely are not a bad person.

I often laid in bed, and I'd think about what could have been. What would have happened if I had of chosen Rome. Truth is back then, I was too scared to choose him. I was scared he'd break my heart again. I didn't feel strong enough to lose him all over again. But I was wrong, because every night I lay next to Logan I felt empty.
I thought I loved Logan, I really did. Not as much as I did Rome, but I did think I loved Logan, but I realise, it wasn't love, it was comfort in thinking I had someone who wasn't going to leave, someone who would stay. Yet I felt alone every single day.

And Rome? Where is he now?

He almost died trying to save our baby. He got hurt, badly. He doesn't remember anything, from after our parents wedding morning.

Your parents got married?

Yeah. That's how me and Rome met. We first laid eyes on each other at the alter, and we first spoke at the after party.

Have you tried speaking to him? Tell him how you are? Remind him.

No... I guess I'm afraid that if he relives it all, he might decide I don't deserve a second chance.

** Knock knock **

"It's like 2am, who could that be?" I say as I check my watch.

"I'll go see." Cooper says as he goes to open the door.

"Where's Kate????"
Is all I can hear in a loud voice.