Step Brother 2: Jealousy (Completed)

Fifteen

5 weeks later..

It's been 5 whole weeks. 5 weeks without seeing our family. 5 weeks I've spent without even hearing my little girls voice. 5 weeks of staying in new hotels and b&b's every few nights. I'm exhausted. I'm emotion. And, it's taking it's toll on me. Because it's starting to actually make me I'll.

I've been sick for the last 2 weeks. All I can put it down to is stress. I'm so drained, I barely have the energy to walk.

"Hey, here I got this. It might make you feel better." He says handing me medicine. I nod, as a thank you.

As always I open the instructions inside. I read it all. When I get to the end of the instructions, it makes me think.

Please do not take this medicine, without a doctors advice, if you're pregnant.

Pregnant? What if I'm pregnant?

I feel even more sick, causing me to vomit all over the bed.

I need to find out.

"What are you doing. Stay there, I'll clean it up."

"I need to go on a walk, I need fresh air."

"I'll come too."

"No! I want to go alone."
I snap, but I didn't mean to. I just don't want him to know, that I'm buying a pregnancy test at the store. I might not even be pregnant. So why panic him?

Then I remember.

Logan.

He raped me.

The baby could be his.

If I am pregnant, and Logan finds out, he won't ever leave me be.

If he realises, it could be Rome's, he will probably most likely kill me. And him.

I make my way to a local shop, 3 minutes or so up the road.

I grab a cheap pregnancy test, it's a multi pack for €2. I had to take €5 belong to Rome, without him looking. Because the only money I have is dollars. That's no good here.

"Just this dear?"
The old lady behind the counter asks.
I nod, and hand her the money.

"Don't look so worried, dear. A baby is a blessing, you know?"

"I know. I just.. It's not the right time for one." I found myself saying. I don't know why I even felt the need to explain, but for some reason I did.

"Let me tell ye. When I was your age I had 7 children. My husband was an alcoholic, the catholic church didn't allow you to divorce. A man could leave, but a woman had no choice, she had to stick by him. Women were expected to cook, clean, look after all the children, and when the man arrived home, she would be expected to have sex with him, like some sort of toy. He would beat me, black and blue. He'd spend all the money he'd earn in work, down the pub. It was hard. I ended up having 11 kids for that man. My last 2 children were twins. He died just before they were born. I was left to work, and raise them alone. But, you know it was easier without him. My point is, life can be hard, it might not be the right time, but a baby is a blessing, never ever a mistake. If I could go back, I'd do it all again, just so that I could have my children."

"Wow. I didn't know. Why was it like that?"

"Ah you see, the catholic church had power over everybody, and everything. You couldn't get contraception here, because it was a sin. Women weren't treated equal. And you know, if you were a girl and you said you were raped, or abused, even if you were a little kid at the time, the church would blame you. They had many homes for women and children here, and in other countries too. Some women were there because they had children out of wedlock. Unmarried mothers brought shame to the families. The fathers, well they just carried on like normal. Some of the young girls were there, because their mothers were unmarried mothers, and the church took the girls "in fear" that they too would follow in their mothers footsteps. Other girls were there because they were looked at as temptation. They were seen as too beautiful, therefore they were too much of a temptation for men. Then we have the girls, who said they were raped, some by their brothers, fathers, uncles, and the church always blamed the girls, or women. It was never the mans fault. Women were beaten in those homes by the nuns. The pregnant women that entered pregnant, would usually see there child go without them, most of them sold to wealthy couples in America. If a woman or girl, in the home accused a Priest of sexually abusing her, she would be placed in a mental institution, because she was looked upon as a liar. So you see dear, no matter what is going on. If you are pregnant, it's not a bad thing. It's a sweet baby. It will all work out for ye."

"My husband wants to kill me."
I blurt out. After everything she has said, how she speaks, something about this woman makes me trust her.

"Oh dear." She says giving me a sympathetic look. "Follow me." She says as she locks the shop door. She then proceeds to walk into the back of the shop, through a little wooden door. I follow nervously behind her.

"Here, sit down love."
She says handing me a hot cup of tea.

"Did he leave those marks on you?" She asks with sadness in her eyes. I just nod.

"I can help you get away."

I shake my head.

"Dear, are you okay?"

She says just as the tears roll down my cheeks.

"No."

I admit.

"He's looking for me. I'm scared. I'm not afraid of him killing me, but I'm fighting so he can't get his hands on our daughter. I'm alive for her, right now. I'm scared someone I love, someone innocent will die because of me. Because they're protecting them."

The lady's face falls in shock to my confession, and honesty.

"You need to report him."
She says placing her hand on my leg.

"I can't. I can't trust them."

Then I remember, I can't trust anyone. Expect Rome, Mom, Sabrina, and Ronaldo. I shouldn't be telling all this to a stranger.

"I'm sorry. I can't talk about this. Can I ask for a favour?"

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Can I take this test here, in your employees bathroom?"

"It's just through there, on yer right."

I smile at her softly, before I make my way to the bathroom.

I sit just staring at the wall for about 5 minutes. Until a knock on the door, snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Just a minute."

I pee on the test, before placing the cap back on it. I lay it down on the sink.

Taking a deep breath, I take a hard look at myself in the mirror.

This isn't me. I can't even recognise myself. He did a number on me. I could see the anger in his eyes. My face however, shows me just how angry he actually was. All the marks, and bruises, I don't know how I managed to live through it.

After 3 minutes I look down..

This is it, it's time to see if I am in fact pregnant, or not...