Forbidden Love (repost)

blood type A

This will be a bit of a tedious chapter because of the journal entries. Bear with me on this. Don't claw my eyes out if it's boring. I wood-not want you hating me. I know these forest related puns are rough. Don't bark at me for it.

I'm berry sorry xD

"Kevin..." hmm..who's saying my name.. "Kevin wake up, you'll be late!" My eyes fluttered open. It took me a moment to gather myself from the bed. "Ne," I moaned, waving Alexander out of the room and rolling lifelessly off the bed as I did so.

   For a moment, I lay with dull eyes to the floor. My heart hurt as well as my head. Never before had I experienced so much pain and loss...and understanding. "Soohyun," I whispered, snaking a weak hand up to my tear stained face. The carpet rubbed against my already delicate skin, making me flinch.

    Why.

  I couldn't believe what I had read. I regret life. I regret being born. Everything in that journal was so painful. Not to mention I'm extremely tired from roughly one hour of sleep; several of crying.

   "I'm scared. I hear noises and...I hear pain. I've given up on hearing anything else. Memories? I call that pain. Thoughts? Pain. So what else is there?

   Trick question. Everything is pain now.

   Dad is still in his study. I wouldn't be surprised if he's forgotten he has a son by the time he comes out. That's alright. I've forgotten his face as well...

   Christmas is in about five weeks. Maybe he'll come out this time. That's all I have time to write for now, diary, I wasn't being dramatic with the noises. There is noises, loud noises. I think it's just the people next door getting arrested again. good times.

~Shin Soohyun

November 24

Age 16

Blood Type A

   Dear diary,

Why do I sign off with my blood type? Simple. It's reassuring. It's the only thing I know can't and won't change so I like to keep reminders that life isn't completely...what's the word I'm looking for...

   Anyway, I met a guy today. Jong-something or other. Funny story how we met really. I was alone in the hallway the other day, typical late to class whatever. On the way there, I tripped. Not on my account, of course. "Faggot," I was called. "You'll never be anything but a worthless loser. Go cry to your father- oh, that's right, he doesn't care about you either! He's probably still locked away like the worthless druggie he is, a loser like you. I guess it runs in the family."

   I'll never forget those words. That's probably the first time I cried in public." I had to pause from reading. The book felt fragile and light but heavy with memories in my hand and I couldn't comprehend what I was reading. I especially couldn't comprehend the thought of Soohyun crying.

    "But then he came along. And he just took my hand, helped me up and walked away. Didn't say anything. Didn't do anything. He just...walked away. So I walked after him. "I'm Soohyun." I said to him. When he turned around and smiled, I felt light. Almost okay. I didn't catch his name, probably because he caught me eye first. But he's so perfect. How have I not noticed him before? That smile, those teeth, that hair, and we have three classes a week together. Not bad. Look, I'm smiling!!!! See what he does to me? A real smile, while I'm on my ow"

I tilted my head, confused. The entry cut off there. As much as I wanted to read more, I couldn't. It pained me to be reading this. Next page.

Well. Forget that. Forget everything. Just when life seems to be getting better, house sets on fire. Not kidding. Whole house. I managed to retrieve this book, thankfully. My stubborn father refused to leave the house. I don't know what he's on but he seems to think grandma still lives here. He said something about having to stay and talk to grandma about something and then he has to feed the cat. Halmani lives in Texas and we don't have a cat.

   I suppose it was nice to see his face again.

   We're staying a couple nights at aunt JiHye's house until we can find a place of our own.

   I got Jongyin's number, on the bright side. And remembered his name. We're hanging out this weekend! Should be wonderful. I got to talking to him and drumroll please, *magestic drumroll* he's gay. The only other person in the school who's out of the closet. This couldn't be more perfect. I'll write later. I have school. ~Shin Soohyun

November 26

Age 16

Blood type A"

The rest of the pages followed the same rhythm. Same sad story. Until one.

   "Diary,

It's been a while. I had almost forgotten. Things really have changed since the last time I wrote; everything is so complicated. I'm tired of pulling a smile. But, I've fallen in love, making things all the more complicated. I don't want to repeat everything, I don't want this pain anymore and I don't know what to do about Jongyin. I'm giving up. I can't take pretending everything is okay when it's not. I can't take living under the rule of him, making excuses for injuries. 'I tripped and fell down the stairs' when he pushes me. 'I accidentally cut my finger cooking one night, It's nothing,' when it was him. I'm afraid to cry. I'm afraid to live. I'm afraid.

   To make things worse, the one I've fallen for is younger than me. One of my students. I'll go now.

~Shin Soohyun

Age 23

September 27

still blood type A."

   "Kevin! Pay attention or leave this class!" Mrs. Xiao croaked at me, pulling me from my trance. Tears pinched at the rims of my eyes, eating at my comfort. "Yes, ma'am." I replied softly as my fingers danced slowly grazed the worn edges of the book in my hand.

   Dance class next.

A lot of it was cut out. It kinda sucks. Oh well. I hope you enjoyed it ^^