Lost Souls

The tortured soul

Day by day, the unease I feel is getting worse. My stepfather hasn't made a moving since then but it doesn't help any. I was trying to figure out who can I tell and how but there was nothing I could do, I guess. It has been about a month since the incident and I have been trying to avoid going home. I would go to my brother's football practices, but even that I had to stop going to. He started to show up. I started to take up clubs, like a baking club which surprisingly I do enjoy being in. I tend to become relaxed participating in. "Jaden" I heard someone calling my name. I stopped in my tracks to see who it was. I turn my body around to see that it was Crystal.

"Hey girlie," I said giving her a soft smile. I have been trying to act as normal as possible. I didn't want to tell her what happened to me that night or get any sympathy. I am still trying to understand myself about what is going on.

"Hey," she said while hugging me. Once we finally broke apart, we continued to walk into the school. "How was your weekend?" I wanted to tell her that I am afraid of being home alone with my father or how I avoided all costs.

"It was relaxing," I said. In some ways, it was relaxing. I didn't spend a whole lot of time at home. I was trying to look for a job or avoiding home in general. "How was your weekend?"

"It was good. I was able to get my tan." as she said while showing off her tan. I smiled back at her. We kept up with our conversation until we got to our lockers. I loved the normality that we had with this conversation. I felt like I was being a teenager again and not have to worry if my dad was going to touch me again or even worse. Just think about that was giving me shivers.

"So I heard that we are going to have a new kid coming to our school," Crystal says right after we reached my locker. I lifted an eyebrow trying to figure out how the fuck do you know this kind of look. She continues, "I know what you are thinking and asking how do I know this, well, when I was going into the office on Friday to talk to my aunt, I stopped right in front of her office and I overheard her talking to seem hat could be a parent, and how her son is going to start on Monday and they can't wait. And from what it looks from it he is fucking hot."

I rolled my eyes at her as I closed my locker. We started walking towards our first-period class where we both shared. I proceeded to ask, "Well at least did you get a name?"

"Nah, but I think it starts with a j." I couldn't help but laugh as I closed my locker. Only she would forget to do something like that.

"I see you later I said while walking into my first-period class," I said to her. As she was starting to walk away.

"Yeah see you at lunch." She says. I couldn't help but put a smile on my face. Today was going great so far. I enjoyed being a teenager so far and I just felt like nothing could touch me. As I went to my seat, there was this guy who was sitting right next to me. I have never seen him before. I can say that he was a very good looking guy. Who am I kidding, he was a very handsome gentleman.

I went to go sit down, and get turned his body a little and gave me a soft smile. "Hi, my name is James, I'm new here. What's your name?"

I gave him a little tilt and gave him a look. Then I replied, "Jade." I returned a smile at him.

"Well, Jade nice to meet you. So tell me, what are the ins and outs of this school?"

"Umm... Well if you are asking about the clicks and all the stereotypical high school trophy that are at this school, I am the wrong person to ask."

"Why is that?"

"I tend to not follow it."

"Um, interesting. Why is that?"

"Well, it's because I have a whole lot of drama going at home that I don't need the added drama from school to be added to my pile."

"I think that's great."

"Well, thanks."

"My next question is what are you doing for lunch?"

"Umm, my usual. Go sit with my best friend and just decompress. Why do you ask?"

"Well can I join you?"
"Sure." before we could finish off our conversation that's when our teacher decided to walk in. The first bell has rung. Everyone got quiet. We went off with the class and James was able to come up in front of the class and introduce himself. From what I gather from his introduction is that he is 15 years old, like me, he is from Virginia but lived all over the US because his dad is in the military and he happened to be the place where they landed. They are hoping this can be the last move. Once he came back to his seat, we started to work on the group project that we had for this class. Ever since then James and could not stop talking and getting to know each other.

Once lunch came around James and I walked to the lunchroom. We went to go get our lunch and go find Crystal. Once I found her I went on and introduce each other. From there I knew that James was a wonderful person. We all knew that we could become friends. I enjoyed that I was so comfortable around him but not enough to tell him the secret that I am holding onto.

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Once school ended, James, Crystal and I all separated. I was kind of disappointed that I couldn't hang out with them but James had something to do after school with his family and Crystal had Volleyball tryouts to go to. So here I was walking home. I tried everything in my power to prolong how fast I can get home. We all know why I hate being there and I know that he will be home or should be home by now. Once I started to approach my family home I saw his car parked in front of the house. Once I got home, I opened the door carefully. Once I closed the front door, I ran into my room as fast as possible. I opened my door to the room and I fully regretted it. He was sitting on my bed.

I asked him, "What are you d-d-doing here?" I was trying not to seem terrified, but I was.

"Oh my sweet child," he said to me. He started to walk towards me. I was trying to walk away but I wasn't fast enough. I tried to run but I couldn't. He grabbed onto my arms and pulled me into my room. He threw me on the bed. He went and locked the door. I am beyond terrified now. I didn't know what to do. I tried to get as far away from him as possible but I am not strong enough to fight him. He pinned me down and said, "I have been waiting for you to be alone. I am tired of you always with someone." he started to take in my smell. I was trying not to show weakness. I couldn't help it. He started to kiss me, once he broke the kiss, he looked at me and smiled at me. This slimy, dirty smile that made me feel even worse.

"Please, let me go?" I asked him. I was pleading with him. I don't want to be there, underneath him.

"Oh baby, don't cry. I am going to make you feel good." I closed my eyes as hard as I could, as he went on and started to kiss me. He started to grind up on me, feeling his erection growing. I felt so gross. Crying even harder now. Then I proceeded to hear my zipper being unzipped and his fingers trail up and started to rub against me. My body started to betray me. I attempted to say now but that my voice cracked. I can't handle this.

"Oh, you feel so good, baby." He says muttering in my ears. I tried to push him away but he pinned my hands where I couldn't move them. "I can't wait to put myself inside you." I felt nauseous, I wanted to scream but I couldn't. I hated how my body was responding. I hated how he was touching me. I hated how I was there at that moment. I wish I can just disappear and never come back.