Lost Souls

WE HAVE QUESTIONS AND I HAVE ANSWERS

Jades POV

"Where the fuck have you been?" I asked in a low and deathly tone. I was trying to figure out, after all these years, why hasn't he been in contact or even care to be around my life and mickeys. I wish he was there to see all the milestones that I hit. Or how I could have had someone to root for me during all my softball games or take me to all the father-daughter dances. The torture that I have been through in the past month or so is beyond me. Maybe I would never have gotten raped. Maybe I would have to fight for my survival. I wish I had someone who can protect me and not leave me for the wolves. I am over getting hurt all the fucking time. I am tired of crying and fucking scared. I needed someone to lean on.

He looked at us giving us this confused look. That pathetic look that I wanted to wipe off his fucking face. Micky went and started to talk, "I know she asked you a fucking question, you asshole." Mickey went and had his hand balled up.

He looked at the both of us and then proceed to talk, "listen I don't want to do this hear right now, let us go to the cafe that's next door."

"No, why should we."

"Because I want to explain everything."

"How should I believe you," I finally replied.

"Why should I lie?"

"To hurt us again," I said in response.

"If you guys just listen to me and just follow me to this cafe," he paused for a second trying to recollect himself. The nerve of this fucking guy. He thinks he hurting, then he is a damn motherfucking fool for thinking that. He doesn't know pain until then I will be holding him to a grain of salt. "Please," he continued, I will explain anything and everything to you guys but you do need to follow me. We can just walk together to this small cafe. I just can't do it right here." I turned my head. I didn't want to see his eyes as of right now. Although I am angry and I have no feelings for this sperm donor of a man, I know I would cave under pressure. I would agree to see what is going on. But what happened next surprised me.

"Fine," Micky replied back. I turned my head so quickly to him that it almost gave me whiplash because of it. The sperm donor smiled and gave us a small nod. Then he told us to follow him. I was in shock. Think that I was going to cave but it was my brother to cave under pressure. Once we started walking Mickey walked up close to me and whispered in my ears, "Let's just hear him out," he a paused for a second, it might be stupid but I have this feeling that he can help us get out of this fucking hell hole of a stepfather."

"Are you sure about this? How can we fucking trust this guy? He hasn't been apart of my life before I was born and for yours in a long fucking time either." I asked him in a hushed tone.

"Yes, I need answers," Mickey said with his hand clutched into a ball. There have been only a few times where I have ever seen Mickey this angry. The first time was when I came and told him what happened to me and today. I didn't want us to go because I didn't know what was going to happen.

After a few minutes passed, we arrived at this small cafe that was around the corner. He decided to speak up yo first, "Do you guys want anything to drink?" he asked, trying to break the tension that was surrounding us. It was as thicker than Kim's ass. I didn't answer but Mickey did. He told him what our favorite drink. He nodded and repeated back what we wanted to get. Mickey and I went to go find a table.

We sat there anxious not know what to say to each other. I couldn't bear the unknown. Then I hear Mickey speak up first, "hey look at me," he demanded. I shook my head no. "oh come one. We need to hear him out. I know he has done a lot of damage towards us and mom but shit he might be our way out.

How the fuck do we know that he won't do all that shit towards us again? I can't be stuck at that house any second and I need a concrete plan."

Before Mickey Was able to respond back our sperm donor comes with an annoying voice that pisses me off so much more. I don't even know why. It's not like I really know who he fucking is. He was there with our coffees with this giant smile on his fucking face. I gave him a smugged smile towards him. That's when he dropped that smile on his face. He finally spoke, "A White Mocha with a blueberry muffin," he handed it to me off a tray, "An expresso for you," he handed mickey his drink. After that, he sat across from us looking at us. "So what questions do you guys have for me."

"For starters where the fuck have you been?" I punctuated every single word. I wanted an answer and he owes us one.

"Well for starters, you guys look good," he started off by saying.

"Stop reflecting. Answer the damn question." Mickey said. There is the Micke I am used to. I gave him a small smile and a nod. I turned my attention back to this sperm donor.

"Well... Um... Ok," he was getting nervous. It looked like he wanted to run and I wouldn't be surprised. He has been doing that his whole fucking life.

Dad POV

Shit, I am so fucking nervous. I don't even know why the fuck I am. Truth be told there were many fucking reasons why I fucking bolted when they both were children. For one we were both so fucking young when we had them that I didn't know what to do or how to be a father. When I was a child my father used to abuse me and my mom was a fucking drunk and loved to do drugs on a daily. It got to the point where she was pimping herself out every fucking day. YOu can say I was alone and up to my own devices. I know that shit doesn't excuse myself from being an absentee father but I really wasn't ready.

When Serna first told me that she was pregnant, I was excited and everything. I wanted to prove to my parents, (all though they had no say in the matter in) that I was going to be a great father. I changed my whole life around. I while she was pregnant I was doing all the right stuff that I needed to do and everything. Once mickey was born, something changed in our dynamic. We were constantly fighting, me staying later and later out. Not even that, I started to drink and just get into the wrong crow, mind you, we were both 19 at the time. One day, it was the moment where I made a fucked up choice. Serna and I got into some heavy arguing about some bullshit. At that time Micky was 2 years and Serna was pregnant again with our second child. I wanted her to get an abortion and she didn't. I know what everyone is saying how the fuck can I tell any women to do with your body but I wasn't thinking straight. She was pissed. I don't blame her. "Get the fuck out of here," she said. I remember it vividly when she said that. I tried to argue back but what can I say. I just told my love of life to get the fuck off.

I know that is some shitty thing to say but I couldn't have another kid. I didn't want another kid. Sitting across from Jade me realize how shitty of a father I was and am. But answer the question of where the fuck I was, I looking for them. Ever since I cleaned up my fucking act, I wanted to be apart of their life. I know I have no excuses for just walking out of their lives but I need to be apart of.

Months after months I tried to get back with Serna but she wasn't having it. Now that she wanted nothing to do with me, I drank and drank myself slowly. I think it wasn't until a few years ago when I finally said, this is enough and I can't go through this shit anymore. I got my shit together.

"Why now?" Jade asks breaking my train of thought.

"Because I want to be apart of your lives now. I know I can't take back all those years where I went missing but I want to start fresh with you guys." I responded back to them.

"I don't know," Mickey said in response.

Listen you don't have to answer now, we can take it slow."

"We see," jade said, as she got up and walked away.

"Just give her time ok," Mickey said back, "it's just a lot this going back home and we are trying to figure shit out and this is a lot." I nodded in response. "Here is my phone number. Call me or whatever." I smiled as he got up to go after Jade. I am going to win them back, even if it kills me.