Lost Souls

The Cry for help

Jades POV

I sat there on the floor crying. I couldn't look Micky in the eyes. I was embarrassed about how everything went down and I couldn't stand myself. I was a fool and I wish I could go and disappear. Mickey just asking and asking. How can I bring myself to tell him, that yes I was raped by our father and he comes to my room almost every night to make his way? How he grins when he is done and that I will be forever scarred because of him violating me and taking away my life because he had this fantasy about me. I was disgusted with myself on letting him do this to me. I sat on the floor crying harder and hard. Hearing Mickey pleading with me, trying to figure out why am I crying and angry.

I don't know how long I was sitting there but I know that the knocking has stopped. I finally got up and opened the door to see that Mickey was sitting against the door. I was kind of horrified that he was still there but it looked like he wasn't going to leave me alone. He looked at me and gave me this sad look in his eyes. "Hey," I said in a very soft and almost inaudible voice.

"Hey," he said, giving me the space that I needed to walk out of the bathroom. He went to go speak again, "do you want to talk about it?" he asked in a very worrisome voice.

"If I tell you this information, then you won't look at me the same. I don't want you to hate me or make me feel any different." I was on the break of tears. I was feeing another breakdown. How the fuck do I not. To be honest I want this fucking pain to go the fuck away. There are moments when I think of just letting myself go. I can't stand to have to be constantly worried or being raped constantly and having to live with your abuser is even worse. He just taunting me and I fucking hate it. There is no one who I can talk to. I don't want to be sent away or get separated from my brother.

"Jade tell me on what is going on." at that moment that's when I just broke down and told him everything. I was so fucking ashamed of how and who I was. I felt so dirty and so used that no one would ever LOVE me.

"I don't know how to tell you this Mickey"

Tell me what?"

"I can't"

"Jade look at me, you can tell me anything. You know that." he got to my level.

"I can't."

"Yes, you fucking can." He said breathing heavily. He is beyond pissed. He started to pace back and forth. This made me worry even more now. "Listen how can I help you if you won't tell me shit and it is fucking to start pissing me off."

"No, you don't fucking understand. If I say this out loud then it makes it all real. It makes me dump and very unwanted. How can I be loved, when the one fucking person who should be protecting us is raping. Do you want to know how he comes into my room every night and starts touching me? Or how all the shit he says how much I like it because of how my body betrays me and mistakingly lets out of moan. Do you want to know how he makes sure that I don't wear underwear so that it can be easy access? Or do you want to know how fucking scared I am to live under this fucking roof?" I said while trying to wipe off the tears of my face. I didn't even know what I said until I saw the look on Mickey's face. It didn't mean to come out but it did.

"Oh Jade," he said in a calming voice.

"Just don't." I couldn't stop crying. I don't want sympathy, I just want to get the fuck out of this house. I can't stand being here anymore.

Mickey POV

After jade told me everything, I was in disbelief that he would touch my fuck sister. No, I know what fucking emotion I am fucking felling. I am beyond angry, I will fucking kill someone right now. He has no fucking right to come and fucking touch my fucking sister. I started to pace back and forth. I didn't know what to do or how to act. Who the fuck do I tell or should I go and tell someone? I don't want to get separated from my sister. I know that in a few weeks I am about to turn 18 and I can move out. Maybe I can officially adopt her if I can get him away from her.

After a few minutes of Jade crying, her tears had dried up and eventually, her breathing has calmed down. This indicated that she has fallen asleep and that she needed it. I took her to my room. She isn't allowed to be left alone. I can't let her be in this home by herself. Once I put her down on the bed I sat there how the fuck is I going to protect her and get her the fuck out of here. I can't have her living here. I know I have some money saved up because I do work but it's not going to help though because I only work part-time and we will barely make it through. But all I know is we need to get the fuck out of here.