You Want Me? Beg For Me [Niam]

~Day 15~

Day 15: 11/27/12

(back to Niall's POV)

I hate him.

I fucking hate Liam James Payne.

I hate him for making me cry.

For making me care.

For making me smile every time he's around.

For making me do this challenge.

But most of all, I hate him for making me fall in love with him.

I hate him for all those reasons yet I know that I still love him. I still care about him. And somewhere in the back of my mind I'm hoping that he'll win the challenge so we can be together.

But I won't let him, I'll turn him down even though it'll hurt me. I'll have to restrain myself from going after him. Wouldn't that be ironic? I was the one that told him, if he wanted me he'll have to beg for me. When in reality I'll probably be the one begging for him.

Even if he did win the challenge, it's all a game to him. He'll never love me like I love him. He'll never care about me at all.

This seems a little too familiar don't you think?

Great. The little voice inside my head is back.

What do you mean?

Well take Tyler for example. You two were 'happy' for a while then BAM. He hurt you. This seems just like it.

What are you trying to say? That Tyler caused this?

Maybe he did. Maybe he didn't.

If he did then why would Liam listen to him?

I don't know...

Exactly! Now shut up and leave me alone!

Silence. It's gone. Just me, my bed, my Pillow Pet, my room and my thoughts. Just how I was back Then.

But this time, I'm not hurt as much. I wasn't in a relationship with Liam, so it wasn't as bad. And for that I'm thankful, or else my walls would've broken down. And trust me, if these walls go down while I'm hurt, I'll be sent to the hospital for a heart attack or something like that.

"Niall?" I hear a voice whisper.

I open my eyes, when did I close them? I look around and see Louis, Harry and Justin in my room. Shouldn't they be at school?

"School ended two hours ago Niall." Harry tells me.

"Can you read minds?" I ask groggily. I haven't talked in a while ok.

"No but I can hear you talk." he replies.

"Oh. So umm why are you guys here?"

"Has HE come to talk to you yet?" Louis asks angrily.

I wince, I've never seen Louis angry before and it scares me.

"N-no." I stutter.

Justin smacks him on the shoulder "Sorry about Louis. He's just pissed."

"Pissed would be an understatement." Louis grumbles.

Justin rolls his eyes "Anyways, how are you?"

"I feel like crap."

"And you look like it too." Harry singsongs.

I glare at him. Leave it to him to make a joke during a situation like this.

"Thanks Harry." sarcasm in my answer. He just smiles then gets serious.

"I told you not to trust him."

"I know. I know. But I couldn't help it. He acted like he really cared about me. It seemed so real. But I guess it was just, an act." I shrug tears threatening to spill over again.

"Niall listen. If he comes over, just don't listen to him. Tell him to go away, leave you alone and that he already lost the challenge. Keep him away from you." Justin says.

I refrain from arguing "Yeah. I'll do that. Thanks guys."

Louis doesn't seem to believe me but says nothing.

"We'll come by tonight, I am having a study date with Selena and Larry over here." Justin motions with his head to Louis and Harry.

Harry wraps his arms around Louis who rests his hands on his hips "Bitch please. You just jealous 'cause Jelena ain't as hot as Larry." he flips his 'hair' and leaves the room. Harry following behind with an amused expression.

Justin snorts and looks back at me "See you later Niall. Just don't let him near you again." and with that he leaves.

Now I'm alone again.

This is just dandy. Everyone has someone but me. I'm sure even Liam has someone to be with.

He's not thinking about what he did to me. If he is then he's laughing about it like the asshole he is.

Like the asshole that I love.

I lay in bed for a while occasionally looking at the time. 6:30. 7:30.

It's around eight when there's a knock on my door. Who could it be at this time? My mum left to go get me some Nandos. Yes I may be upset but I still eat Nandos.

"Uh? Come in?" I question.

And in comes the last person I'm expecting. Actually I should've expected him to come.

Liam stands at the entrance to my room looking at me guiltily. He should be.

"Hi Niall."

My mouth goes dry and I can't speak. Not that I want to anyways. So instead I just turn my back on him.

"Niall. Please just let me explain." he begs. Not falling for it.

I hear him come closer until he sits down.

"I know this isn't enough but I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I made you cry. That I made you upset. That I hurt you. That I made you think that I hated you because in reality, I love you."

While talking he runs his fingers through my hair almost absently minded. My body heats up and I unconsciously lean into his touch. I can't help it, both my mind and body crave for his touch no matter what he did to me.

"Niall. Please believe me. I love you." Liam's voice cracks a little and I just want to hug him until he's happy again. "And I think you're asleep right now since you won't answer me but I'll be here right beside you when you wake up. I'll explain everything to you, even if you won't listen to me, I'll still explain. I-I don't care if you don't love me back, I just want you to understand why I did what I did."

I remain still, his fingers running through my hair making me sleepy. My eyes get heavy and slowly close, my hearing getting faint. I fall asleep with the boy I love me next to me.

But before I fall asleep I hear Liam say

"You've built walls, not to keep everyone out. But to see who loves you enough to climb them. I don't think you realize that. But what I do want you to realize is that I love you. So much that I'll keep trying to climb those walls. No matter how many times I fall, I'll keep trying. Because I love you."