Life without Gus: some infinities end

Chapter 1

Authors note: hi guys! This is my first book so please be easy on me :) it's about hazel after Gus died. She meets someone who she shares a love interest for but she's afraid she will forget about Gus If she goes for it. (Btw lots of drama!) Also the picture attached is what Hazel looks like after Gus died. Anyway hope you love the book!

*Hazels P.O.V. unless stated*

It's been exactly three years since Gus......died. I only cry about twice a week now so that's good. Just the thought of him makes my eyes puffy and my throat have a lump in the back of it. It's weird how you can love someone, and just like that their gone. That's what I was afraid of. I was afraid of me dying and leaving him miserable, but I was also afraid for myself being miserable. I know your wondering why I would be sad because I didn't even know he had cancer at the time. But the truth is I did. One day while me and Gus were hanging out his phone rang. And of course like any other "friend girl" you would wonder what it said. So I picked it up and it said

"Did you tell Hazel your cancer came back?"

I didn't see who it was from but I knew deep in side myself, I was the one who I didn't want to get hurt.

Anyway, I have made a lot of changes since he died. Like I died my hair a darker brown and it grew longer, a lot longer, I've started dressing..... different. My cancer went away and some how magically my lungs are working fine, no more oxygen tank! I actually look kind of sexy if that's possible for me, Hazel Grace Lancaster. Oh! And I'm going to college, a normal college with normal people. It's crazy how much my life has changed, I mean I can't complain because it's been good, except for Gus being....gone.

The chances of my cancer ever coming back are like 7% so I'm guessing I'm pretty much free. But at the same time I feel like I'm in prison.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up this morning to my alarm repeating a beep that was like a broken record. I finally shut it off and got dressed. I put on a lime green tank top with black skinny jeans and put a couple curls in my hair. Then I brushed my teeth with extra minty toothpaste (ew) and put my make up on.

Oh, another thing I forgot is that I'm living in my own apartment with my own car. I'm like a actually adult. Cool huh? My doctors finally can't tell me what I can and cannot do. I mean its usual for a 19 year old to be "free" but I'm just not used to it I guess.

I picked my keys up from my granite counter tops and walked out of my door. As I turned the corner ready to walk down the stairs, some one ran into me and we bumped heads causing me to look down in pain.

"Ow, watch where your going jerk -" I said looking up surprised at the face I was looking at.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't see you. I'm Jake Price." He said smiling sheepishly at me.

I felt embarrassed that I just harassed a very hot guy like him.

What are you saying? Your not over Gus!

Yes, but Hazel it's been seven months. You deserve happiness.

But you loved him!

"Uh are you okay?" Jake said.

I turned to look in his eyes realizing I've been standing there motionless for a while now.

"Oh, sorry I'm Hazel. Wait....Don't you go to West Point College?" I asked him with a slight smile creeping on my face.

"Yeah! Now that I think about it we actually have some classes together." He replied.

"We do. So you...uh... Live here?" I asked trying not to sound dumb.

"Yeah I just moved in a couple months ago." He said motioning to his door about twenty feet from mine.

"Cool. Well we should go get coffe sometime." I said

Wait. No we shouldn't!

"Yeah how about Tuesday?" He said grinning.

"Umm.... Actually I just remembered I don't like coffe....well anyway....Gotta go bye!" I said zooming down the stairs not letting him reply

Did I just say that? Ugh I just have to blow any chance I actually have with a guy.