Can't Fight This Feeling.

I Once Was The Lost One.

Last months had been difficult for her, Kurt and her were trying to get pregnant, but it wasn’t working. She was sure she was the one to blame so it only made her feel worse, increasing her stress, making it even more difficult to get a baby.

The stress was consuming them, Kurt kept saying he was the problem, because she was perfect, so he was scared she would search someone else. Specially Rene. Although she has told him one thousand times that he wouldn’t leave him. 

So she had started cutting Rene off slowly, kisses in the cheeks were gone, she said hi from the distance, always avoiding to be the two of them alone. 

She had even asked him to stop calling her to wake her up. “Kurt likes waking me up with breakfast” she had said and Rene’s heart had broken in million pieces. 

And that's when Rene started to appear with a different model hanging from his arm every gala, party that they had. 

That made her feel even worse, although Rene and her were nothing she couldn't cope with the idea of those beautiful women having him. 

So she just tries to ignore it and puts all her efforts on starting a family with her husband. fuck you Celine, you have a husband and you're fantasizing with another man.

The same man who rejected you years ago but when he realized that he was losing you he came back, just to play with your head. What's wrong with you? She asks herself.

Maybe it was because in her dreams it was him marrying her, him the one who made love to her every night and taught her the secrets of love. And all her dreams from her youth had became true, except that one.

So she just tried to push those memories away, holding them in the back of her mind, but it was more difficult when he was around. 

“Celine, we have a meeting tomorrow” René says after an interview. “For the new album?” She asks, staying away from him, he nods.

“You should go, then you can tell my assistant what I need to know” she cuts him off. He lets out a sigh showing he was upset too. “Something wrong?” She asks.

“You, I don’t know what’s going on with you, barely coming to the meetings” he says serious in whole manager mode. “You know we succeed because you worked hard and we were a team? Discipline Celine” he tells her. 

“I’m not sixteen anymore Rene, I have other things to take care of, so do your job and talk to Susanne tomorrow” she says leaving his office.

She's over stressed, another pregnancy test that went negative, Kurt pressuring her and now René too? This was going to kill her, maybe she should reconsider those months off that her gynecologist had suggested.

So they just keep trying, making love wasn’t for fun anymore, it was part of the job, and she was tired of obligations. “Baby you’re so distant” Kurt mutters that night.

“You’re inside of me” she raises her eyebrow, so he just moves away. “Your mind, you’re not here” he says sitting in the bed. “There’s so much going on you don’t even know” she says. 

“Then talk to me” He asks, caressing her arm. “I’m tired” she just says and turns around in bed. 

She doesn’t know how much she can take, she has interview after interview for her new French album, it wasn’t even finished yet and it was so demanding. She just wanted to leave everything and rest. 

Days after, she finishes a interview, and she knows she hasn’t been as polite as she usually is, she’s too stressed to consider other people feelings.