Can't Fight This Feeling.

I Keep The Memory Of You And Me.

She arrives home and takes a shower, but it doesn’t matter how many times she uses soap, his perfume is still on her skin. The places where his fingers touched her are still burning. 

She can’t help but think if he had already waken up. He knew he always woke up early, he probably had seen her note already. She felt like a coward, she should have stayed, fought for her feelings, but could she thrown away a marriage of six years for a one out-of-this-world night?

She tried to convince herself it was only a one night thing, but she knew down deep in her heart that she had loved him for years now. But was it enough? Was love enough? 

She gets out of the shower and doesn’t feel like combing her hair nor even dressing, so she just goes down in her robe. Kurt just entering her home. 

“Hello sweetheart” he says way too loud, and she immediately misses his raspy voice. She smiles to him and offers her cheek for him to kiss. She doesn’t feel like kissing him, not after those intense kisses René has given her, nothing could be similar to that. But at the same time she feels guilty, dirty.

“That’s the welcoming I get” he protests, and she knows he’s right, but she just can’t stand him right now. “Sorry, come here” she says and kisses him softly in the lips. René devouring her lips immediately comes back to her mind sending shivers through her whole body.

"Whatever" he says rolling his eyes "Going to take a shower, feel free to join me if you want to" he adds as he heads towards the stairs but she doesn't follow him this time.

She just finishes her coffee, and when he gets out of the shower he’s more pissed than before. “I had showered already” is everything she mutters but he doesn’t seem to care. “How was your mother?” She asks, she really likes the woman. “She’s fine, asking when she’s getting grand children” he says.

“She’ll have to keep waiting” she mutters, and gets up to get another coffee. “It’s been years Céline” he says loudly. “And what do you want me to do? We tried, hell I wanted children too but it didn’t work out and now we have this whole album…” she says.

They couldn’t get it although they really tried, and then she kept pushing the moment because of her career. “It’s going to be Titanic now and then another project” his fist bumps the table. 

“You knew it when you married me and my millions, so don’t complain that much” she’s done. “I’m not having this talk right now. I don’t know what happened to you on that trip that you came back in such a bad mood” she doesn’t even know if she can stay with him, and he’s pressing about kids, even after all they went through? She needs to get out of there.

She walks out of the house, and jumps into one of the cars, it's been so long since she had drove that she doesn't even know if her lisence is valid anymore, but she doesn't care.

She drives past René's office and the memories from last night invade her again.

 His breath on her skin, the feeling of his lips on her, sending chills all over her body and she has to fight the desire to knock on his door and throw herself into his arms.

But although her whole body wants him, she knows she can’t play with his head like that, she needs to make her own mind clear before talking to him, so she turns the car around and goes the opposite direction, she needs some time alone, away from her lovers.

So she just keeps driving until she spots a park, and sits alone under the shadow of a big tree. Couples with kids playing in front of her.

She had always wanted children so badly, but now she wasn’t sure she wanted Kurt to be the father of her kids. She wasn’t even sure if she ever wanted Kurt to be the father of her children, she had always imagined a mini René. She shook her head. Nothing seemed correct.