Evermore (Vampire Knight fanfiction.)

06 - He hated her.

Aidou Hanabusa

After I had a not-so meaningful conversation with Kiryuu, I went back straight to my dorm room instead of the class.

My conclusion is, she has been there. All this time. Outside. She had some fun with the prefects since they were young. There's no way that full of anger Kiryuu that hates vampires is close with her.

Somehow, after all this time, I feel like there's hatred in my heart. I mean, You can at least say something to me. You can at least explain something to me. Not going to leave my letters as an entertaiment for yourself. You can't just make me fall in love with you, disappeared, and coming back when I'm already okay with the zero existence of yours. Just when I started getting used to be without you.

Selfish, aren't you, Resha-sama?

I'm trying to sleep as they're coming back. Akatsuki walks into our room. "Oi, why did you skip classes again?" He asked calmly.

"I went to Kiryuu. I asked him about Resha-sama."

My cousin looked at me with his always expression; doesn't interested in any of it. "What now?"

"I don't know... Now that she's back, I hate her for coming back. I've moved on, Akatsuki."

He shrugged both his shoulders. "If you did move on, even when she came back right in front of you, it wouldn't matter, Hanabusa. This just proves you didn't move on at all."

I'm a fool, falling head over heels for a pureblood... Not that it's impossible, it's just... There's a difference between admiring your Lady and falling in love with your Lady. A pureblood is very honorable, and respectful, but at the same time we nobles couldn't help but be attracted. There's a will to protect her inside of me that's getting stronger and stronger each day, is that also my nature? To caress her hair, to hear her laugh, to look at her eyes everytime she smiles, is that also because of that nature?

I managed to went through a week without saying anything to her. I'm trying to move on even though it will be hard since now I'm in the same class with her, and I get to see her everyday (something I'd wish everyday in the past).

"I hate her," I'm telling myself for the billionth times. Wanting to convince myself instead of just saying it. I repeat those words like my own spell. I hate dealing with feelings, so I flirts with other girls. I hate dealing with these kind of feelings... but I can't help at the attraction.

Like a moth to a flame. There's no way out.

Frustated, I decided to walk around the dorm. Maybe fresh air will clean my head, and helps me to decide what will I do now. What will I feel to her right now.

I'm walking to the balcony, looking at the silent dorm and garden. The night sky are filled with stars, and they're blinking beautifully.

I hate it when I said beautiful, the only thing that's in my mind is her smile and her eyes. I hate her too pale skin, so pale until I can see her veins clearly. I hate the sound of her giggles that sometimes erupted softly in self study time, which is really radiating and causing me to smile, too. I hate her bright clear eyes, whenever she looked to the window and the light reflected on them. Her intelegentness. Her elegant and so princess-like kind of way when she's doing something even if it's just something trivial. I hate everything about her. I hate myself even more because I can't hate her.

Just when I enjoy breathing the fine air, something passed so quickly, running through the forest. I thought it was a ghost, but something tells me I need to follow it quickly. Something tells me I'm not gonna like it.