Hidden- An Ashton Irwin Fanfic

Chapter 45 - Changes

"Hey, long time, no see." I smile, lightly hugging Luke.

"I've gone longer." He nods, grinning as he accepts my embrace.

We walk side by side through the mall, ignoring the world around us. Luke had agreed to hang out tonight after I'd begged him to have some one on one time with me before he left. We catch up on the past week's latest rumors, not once mentioning his bandmate and my ex.

"Chloe and Ben are together, officially, if you didn't know." I fill him in.

"I never got to know Ben very well, but Chloe hated me." He chuckles at her pettiness. "Are they happy together?"

"Yeah, I was actually with them at Ben's last night. From what I could tell they seemed okay." I bite my lip.

"From what you could tell?" His eyebrow raises as he gives me a skeptical look.

"I may have been a little sidetracked last night." I shrug. "They're cute though."

His gestures press me to keep talking, but as we approach the food court he gives up his act. It was almost 7, and had I not eaten an hour ago this would've been just my place.

"You want anything?" He offers, heading towards the Chinese counter. My phone buzzes and I quickly pull it out of my back pocket.

Boston: Hey, you left your hoodie in my car.

"Uh, no thanks." I answer, confused as to how I could've left my hoodie with Boston if I have it on.

Me: No I didn't??

"What? How are you not hungry? I'm starved." Luke exaggerates, rubbing his stomach and staring longingly at the menu.

"I just ate."

My phone buzzes, this time in my hand.

Boston: I know, I just wanted an excuse to text you. (:

I scoff, immediately replying.

Me: lamest excuse ever.

His replies come instantly.

Boston: excuse me

Boston: how dare you

Boston: my excuses are highly appropriate I'll have you know

I grin, sliding my phone back into my jeans as I realize Luke's ordered and has just paid.

"Something's got you preoccupied. Or should I say, someone." He wriggles his brows. "I guess you and Ashton settled your differences, huh?"

I awkwardly cough, any hint of joy being knocked out of me. "No, our differences are simply too.... different to fix."

"Ah, I see." He chews on his orange chicken, remaining quiet for a second. Suddenly, it's like a lightbulb went off. "Oh, you didn't... No way. Little Jay's already found a new victim.... Don't you think it's a little soon?" His face grows serious.

"No," I shrug, "it's not like we're dating or anything. I told him I just want to be friends. Normal, movie watching, bowling going, everyday friends."

"Whatever. How long will that last? A week? A month?"

"Till we realize, if we ever realize, a more intimate relationship is what we want." I cross my arms over my chest.

"Jaylin, I love you. You're like my sister, but I can't say that I agree with this. You shouldn't be jumping into potential relationships so soon. You and Ashton were so close, you can't move on like it never happened."

The look in his eyes shows pure concern, but it still sparks a flame in me. "I'm the one that's moving on? He's leaving to travel the world and I'm the one that's moving on? He'll be gone for months, and I'll be here.... Left to what? To grieve over the loss of my boyfriend who kept me a prisoner of silence? Change is good, change is needed, and there's nothing wrong with me exploring my options. You're leaving, and then I'll be left alone. Maybe a friend is good for me, have you ever thought of that? Has anybody around here questioned whether it's better for me to have a boyfriend who's not ashamed to tell people about me or not? I'll be fine. It's not like you'll be here to keep me company anyways."

I'm surprised at how calm I've remained, the only hint at my anger being my fist clenched on the table.

"I understand, I just don't think it's a good idea." He puts his hand up in defense, stunned at my rant.

"We all have our opinions, but when it comes down to it I'll be the one who has to live with the choices I've made, not you."

He nods understandingly, his fork moving a piece of chicken around. After that, we stay silent. And once he finishes, and we create another conversation, Ashton and I's separation is not dared to be mentioned.

We walk around a little longer, wandering in and out of stores and purchasing small items here and there. Eventually, we grow tired and head out to Luke's car.

"Will you come help me pack? I'm leaving tomorrow night and I haven't packed a single thing." Luke asks.

"I can't. I have homework and stuff. I should probably hang out with my parents and prove I'm still alive too."

"Please? Just for a little while? I'll drive you home."

"Can't, sorry." I shrug.

He gives in. "Fine, but you're coming to the airport to say goodbye tomorrow, right? Michael's crushed he didn't get to hang out with you more. Calum misses you too."

"It's been like a few days since I last saw them.." I say, giving him a pathetic facial expression.

"You have to come, it's not an option."

"I don't know if I can.." I say honestly. There's no doubt in my mind he'll be there.

"I get that you don't want to see Ashton, I really do, but we're not going to see you face to face for months. You can't skip out on the sappy airport goodbyes."

"I don't know..." My face leans on my hand as my elbow rests on the window.

"At least think about it. You can ride with us in the suv then be escorted home if you like. Or my mom can take you. Please go, pleaseee." He gives me a hopeful look, his eyes watering as he pouts his lip.

"Maybe." I sigh, sitting up as we pull into my drive way. "If I don't make it, I'll see you before you leave tomorrow. Bye, Luke." I step out of the car and close the door, making my way up to the front door. I enter the house and find my parents watching a comedy movie, happily curled up together.

"I'm home." I whisper, knocking on the door frame so that they look over at me. They smile, and I grin back before making my way upstairs. My feet take me to my bed and I hop on it in a childlike manor, laying back with my legs hanging off the side.

I really don't want to go, but I can't not show up. They're still my best friends. My eyes close as I take a deep breathe, brainstorming over any options I have. And like a collision between a wave and a rock, it hits me. Grabbing a pen and a paper, I waste no time getting to work.

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Ooo what's she going to do? (; thanksgiving break is next week which means more updates yay

What do you think she's going to do?

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Xoxo,
~Gracy