𝐇𝐈𝐃𝐄| 𝐉.𝐁.

20: Things are beginning to change

"So after everything last night, you guys aren't together?" Taylor groans.

"Nope, and it's never gonna happen."

"What? Why?!" She says, scooting closer to me.

"I didn't remember anything last night, so Josh was helping me refresh my memory. I found out that Josh came to the party with Kacey and then kissed me in the closet when we played seven minutes in heaven."

"Wait, you said you were fine when I asked you how it was in there." She says, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Oh right, you did." I nervously laugh.

"So you did kiss him?" She exclaims, shaking my arm.

"No, he kissed me. I was ready to come out early but he grabbed me and...pushed me up against the wall." I mutter and her jaw drops.

"Oh my god, Alexis!! This is huge! How are you not freaking out right now?"

"Because, he kept telling me he's over Kacey but he hasn't told her himself yet. So technically, they're still together. And I'm not that kind of person." I sigh, shaking my head.

"Do you still have feelings for him?"

"I don't know. We had some tension this morning at breakfast, nothing big though." I shrug.

"What do you mean?"

"We has a little argument about last night and of course, he had to bring Shawn into it." I say, rolling my eyes.

"You still like him?"

"Not the point here, Tay. But anyway, our argument got a little heated so he kissed me. But the thing is, I felt something. It was almost like, fear. And I don't know why. But I know they weren't butterflies." I state.

"Maybe it's because you're scared of another relationship. Remember, things between you and Jonah didn't work out so good." She frowns.

"But I don't feel that with Shawn."

"I think it's because you're forcing yourself to like him. You may be able to trick your mind but your heart always knows what it wants. Your heart knows you and Shawn aren't meant to be, so your body is normal around him. But with Josh, you said you felt fear, right?"

"Yeah, it was really weird. And I've only ever felt that feeling with...Jonah." I say in realization.

If you didn't know, Jonah and I dated from freshman to sophomore year. We broke up because we were growing apart and he found his own crowd. He was a sweet guy though.

"Exactly. Look, all I'm saying is, you and Josh are endgame. A boy and girl never stay friends for long, one of them always ends up catching feelings sooner or later. I think it's your heart telling you it's time to find happiness again. Looks likes you're mistaking fear for change." She explains.

"Tay, I think...you're right." I breathe, pondering for a moment.

"I always am." She jokes, flipping her hair and I chuckle.

"But I like Shawn, he seems really nice. But when I'm with Josh, it's almost natural."

"Stop over thinking, if somehow you and Shawn are meant to be, it'll happen. But right now, you're pushing Josh away. And I see why but, don't let go of the thing that makes you happy. Okay, Lex?" She says and I look up at her.

"Okay, yeah, yeah, you're right." I nod and she smiles at me.

Maybe that's it, all this time I thought I was scared about my feelings for Josh but really, it was just a sign telling me things were gonna change.

But for the better.