Love Ash (Raphael x Reader TMNT fanfiction) [CANCELLED]

It's complicated...

Raph P.O.V.

Exactly 2 weeks since it happened...I kissed that girl from the performance. And the thing is...she kissed me back! Only if she knew what I was truly behind this disguise...she definitely wouldn't do it...

But her voice that night was so...pretty. And angelic...Just the thought of it makes me smile...

Aaand I've been ignorin' her lately. Great move, gentleman.

Actually I don't even know why I do it. It's like...all these feelings are so messed up. And even though I love her (yes I admit it) I still feel like she'll soon realize who I really am or I might just tell her that on accident.

I don't want her to know that, because I know she'd freak out that she kissed a mutant 2 weeks ago...I don't wanna crush her dreams...And the more she's close to me, I feel like she'll realize I'm hidin' somethin' from her...and that's bullshit.

Sometimes I just think too much 'bout some stuff and I lose track of time...

Like right now.

"Raph? Raaaaaph?" - I see Mikey waving his hand in front of my face.

I shake my head and respond - "Huh? Wha-?" - Not the best response gotta admit.

"Did you even hear what I just said?" - He asks. - "You're staring into nothing! Are you even blinking dude?"

"Just tell me what do you want Mikey!" - I say as I start to get frustrated.

"I asked you if you'd like to play video games with me..but I see you aren't in the best mood right now, huh?"

The room becomes silent. I didn't mean to yell at him, it just came out of nowhere!

"...maybe next time bro..sorry." - I headed from the living room into my room. I closed the door behind me as I sat onto the cold ground and faced upwards.

"You really can't stop thinking about her, can you?" - I asked myself with a sigh, then I bump my head onto the wall (but not hardly). There's a brief moment of silence before I hear a knock on the doors. It was Leo.

"Raph? Are you in there? - He asked.

"Somethin' ya want Leo?" - I respond quickly.

"We need to talk, can I come in?"

"Uhh, sure.." - Confused but curious, I answered opening the door for him. He enters and sits on my bed as I sit next to him. I can see the worry being drawn in his pupils. And I think he noticed my confusion.

"So, what's this about Leo?" - I face him.

"I've heard you talking with Mikey..and I saw the way you acted and how you just walked out." - He explained - "Is everything ok? Did something happen today?"

"That's non'yer business, fearless." - I interrupt our eye contact by looking away shortly after he said that.

"It is Raph. I'm your brother..and I care." - He landed his hand on my shoulder but I moved it away.

"Why do ya always care then? Leave me alone for a moment, will ya?"

"If you tell me what's going on I'll gladly leave."

Is he really just gonna stay in my room and talk shit like this? I have no time to explain everything that happened, and I'm not plannin' that at all! Great job, Raph. You know how to hide stuff..
He looks worriedly at me as his sapphire blue eyes face mine; I look away again. I have no courage to keep an eye contact with him now. I'd like to rest and forget everythin'.

"It's...complicated."

"I'm all ears." - He gave me a slight reassuring smile to which I glanced away.

"Just...promise me ya won't laugh or somethin' like that?"

"I give you my word." - He raised his hand and smiled warmly at me which gave me a reassurance to start talkin'.

"Well...it's about...𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒..." - I whisper that last part so I fear he didn't hear well.

"I'm sorry, what?" - Of course he didn't hear me.

" I-It's about..someone.." - Please tell me he heard that.

He got a bit closer, like if he was try'na hear better. I sigh.

"It's about a girl I met at school..ok?!" - I told him into his ear so I was sure he heard that.

"I knew something was up with that smile." - He smirks slightly.

I blush and rub the back of my neck and look away. - "Look, if you tell others I'll beat the green off you."

"Whatever you say bro." - He pats my shell. - "So, which one is it?"

"..You know her..don't you?"

"I may have seen her around you, but then again you're hanging out with many people from the school."

"True...well.." - I say as I give him a short description of the girl I was in love with. I described her hair, the way of clothing and perfectly described the colour of her eyes. Leo kept a slight smile as I was explainin' about her.

"..Her name is (Y/N)..The one who sang at the performance 2 weeks ago..remember?"

"Yes, I do. And based on your description of her, I already see your issue." - He chuckles.

"S-Stop it! That ain't funny!" - A slight blush wasn't erasing from my burning cheeks.

"..sorry." - He said as he stopped.

"Ya said you wouldn't laugh!!"

"No no, I laughed because I never believed that you'd be the first one to fall in love on the first day of school." - He smirks.

"Wait...you know that?!"

"How could I not? I saw you two on a lunch break together."

"...you stealthy ass."

"Your welcome." - He smiles and I roll my eyes.

"Ok ok Leo, you've heard enough. Now get the fuck outta my room I wanna sleep." - I get up and start pushing him to leave my room.

"Alright, alright fine!" - I already pushed him out to the entrance. - "Good rest bro."

"Thanks." - I say as I shut the door and immediately lay on my bed. I heard his footsteps as he walked away slowly.

Damn...even talking about her makes me feel weird and insecure...I don't think she'll love me back at all...

But this is my only chance..maybe she'll understand..maybe not...I hope she will but..I can't be sure at all.

I sighed again as my eyes shut by themselves and I soon drifted off to sleep. My head was full of thoughts, though I didn't dream of anything. I kept moving around and changing my sleeping position hoping to get more sleep, but there was always something missing.. I couldn't know what.

I was like a puzzle without a last piece to complete it. Somethin' wasn't right. I didn't feel like myself anymore...I just wanna sleep right now. Seems like I can't even do that as well..

Well...at least someone knows how much of a sappy turtle I am now! Damn..I wonder what she's doing..

What is she up to? Is she thinkin' about me? Did she realize I was ignoring her? I-I didn't mean to! I hope she didn't take that seriously...

I grab my pillow and put it over my stupid blushing face as I groan to myself. I never thought falling in love would be this complicated and sappy..