January 22nd, 2011
Dear Ashton,
Lia is sleeping right now, and you have left more than two hours ago. It’s nearly half past twelve, and I am scrawling words onto a sheet of paper, as if it was a job to do so. You had even stayed longer than you had planned to, as we spoke of lost memories and snippets of our past.
I feel happy, Ashton. Do you know that? I feel happy.
You said I seemed sad on New Year’s Eve and then placed a mixtape into the palm of my hands, telling me to let music take over every inch of emotion I held. And here I am, changing, developing, and maturing. I know that I can’t change in only a month’s time, but slowly, gradually, I feel like the burden of my father’s death is lifting off my shoulders.
And I have not told you or Lia what happened to him. And I want to, at least before time runs out with us. I want to tell you why I have so long been affected, and why his death is a scar on my skin, nearly impossible to remove.
But just not yet, because I’m not ready to let someone see behind my eyes and enter my sea of thoughts. That would mean letting someone in, and for so long, I haven’t done that. But I do hope that I can, one day, share my thoughts with someone. Anyone.
Not only that, but Ashton, you have befriended me, and I have been questioning why for too long. I know in my last letter, I had said that I really hoped you did not become my friend out of pity, but God, I don’t think I care anymore.
You have become my friend, for whatever the reason, and I have met wonderful people along the way. I had begun to look at the world in specks of colour, and for all these reasons, I had to thank you last night.
I hope I can one day have the courage to deliver these letters to you. At least, when I’m not broken into millions of pieces, and I have found how to perfectly glue these small fragments together.
What I have now, with Grayson, Noah, Lia and you is more than enough. And I want to stay this way for as long as we could. Hopefully, fate doesn’t strike us in the ass too quickly by separating us.
Love,
Nova
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Dear Ashton » Ashton Irwin
Fanfiction[DISCONTINUED] ❝ A smile had always been etched across your delicate face, even though I knew you weren't happy. And maybe that's why I love you, for how you always managed to stay strong every single day. ❞ A compendium of love letters from...
