ANIMALS [Mitch Grassi fanfiction]

5

They were all sitting in a cozy little diner in San Francisco. They've finished lots of things that day. It was five in the afternoon, so they were planning to eat and leave back home. Mitch was mindlessly sipping his coffee to keep himself awake for a while, blankly staring at the table in the front of him. He was more than upset, and based on the looks he got all day, the others all recognized the fact. Probably Scott has said something though because no one attacked him with questions.

He couldn't stand those glances. His stomach hurt of the thought of going home and being alone, he was scared and helpless. Scott was sitting right next to him with Mark on his other side and they were talking until Scott sighed and placed a hand on Mitch's own. "What's wrong?"

Mitch didn't reply. He drank the last sips of the coffee and stood up, waiting for the boys to let him out but Scott didn't move. "I've asked something," he stated quietly. He was annoyed, Mitch was sure. Scott was fed up with his things for the first time in forever.
"Everything is peachy, now could you let me out?!" Mitch snapped, only to hide the feeling of loneliness he has never felt before. Suddenly everyone went quiet, staring up at him.
"Are you guys alright?" Kirstie asked but she got no response.

Scott huffed and stood up. Mitch didn't understand what his problem was. He has never acted like this before. They used to be best friends, they used to be there for each other and believe each other no matter what has happened. It was so painful to lose him.

He didn't even finish washing his hands in the bathroom when the door opened and Scott stepped into the small place. The harsh, bright neon lighting was uncomfortable and even though the tiles were clean, the bathroom felt cheap and old. Mitch wanted to get out of there but Scott was in his way, staring into his eyes with a concerning look on his face. "Mitch," he said simply.
"Scott."
"Look, I don't know what to say so you will listen- I'm so worried for you." The blonde ran his fingers through his locks and for a moment he genuinely seemed to care. But Mitch didn't want to be fooled again.
"Can we not discuss this right here?" He tried to escape but Scott caught his arm. He cleared his throat and looked away for a short moment to find his voice. But when he did, Mitch wished he never said a single word.
"Are you taking your medication?"

It felt like Scott was punching him right in his face. Tears pooled his eyes and doesn't matter how hard he tried not to show, being hurt was written all over his face. He knew it because he could see it on Scott's expression, too.
"Just shut up," Mitch said and finally he got the chance to rush out of the bathroom, walk past by their table and get into the tour bus without even eating his dinner.

***

He finally got home. He was so mad at Scott still. He kicked off his shoes and walked into the living room, feeling completely drained. The way back was an absolute nightmare and he refused to talk to anyone which he knew was pathetic but couldn't help it.

As the light was switched on and he was able to see, he walked into the kitchen for a glass of water but his eyes widen when he saw that there was a huge bouquet of red roses on the countertop. Beau has been here, hasn't he? He took the tag on the flowers and read it.

'you belong to me'

Long seconds passed until he realized that the handwriting wasn't his boyfriend's. Which meant that someone came into his house. Someone was inside without his permission. His hands were shaking as he pushed the bouquet into the trash can. No, that was not okay. Beau will come next day and what if he sees the flowers with the tag? What if he thinks that Mitch was cheating on him? How will he explain? Because Beau wouldn't believe if he'd tell the stalker-story again. What if Beau will get mad and leave him?

That night he was alone again, completely on his own, tears running down on his cheeks. He couldn't believe that this was happening. It couldn't be real. It was too terrifying.

***

He fell asleep around four in the morning so he wasn't surprised when the doorbell woke him. He was extremely tired and his head hurt from the lack of sleep he got but Beau was waiting outside. Mitch yawned and pushed the blanket off. Another ringing. He rushed downstairs and peeked out before opening the door and jumping into Beau's arms, hiding his face in his boyfriend's shoulder.
"Hey, is everything alright?" Beau asked, concerned. "Look at me, please."
Mitch reluctantly did, only for a short moment before hiding his face again. He didn't care that he was twenty-seven, he needed those cuddles more than anything.
"You look so tired, how much did you sleep?" His boyfriend grabbed his wrist to push him inside from the doorway. Mitch watched as he took off his coat and his shoes, and shrugged. "Not so much, huh? What happened?"
"I don't know, I was just pretty stressed," he mumbled, wishing that Beau would switch the topic but that didn't happen.
"Same as last night?"
"Kinda?"
Beau sighed. "Why didn't you call me? You know that I'm here for you, no matter what."

Mitch felt tears pooling his eyes again. It was supposed to be a nice thing to hear but it only made him feel lonelier. He wiped his eyes and let Beau hug him strong. He listened to his voice but it felt empty. It didn't give him the sense of comfort as before.

Last night he threw out the bouquet into the public trash on the street. Even though he didn't cheat on Beau, for some reason he felt like he was, like keeping the flowers in secret would've been against his faithfulness.

Someone came into his own home without the security system alarming the police. At this point Mitch was fucked. This guy knew everything, there was no place anymore where Mitch could feel safe. He was so scared.

They didn't do much that day. Beau understood that Mitch needed some rest so he was fine with cuddling and watching movies all day, and it gave Mitch the permission of barely talking. He didn't even know what to say. He was curled up at his boyfriend's side with a pillow pressed against his chest, his eyes glued on the tv screen and his mind racing without a break.
"Oh, baby..." Beau pressed a kiss on his temple. "I wish I could help you more."
You could, Mitch thought with bitterness. You could if you would believe me. But you don't.

No one did.

***

Mitch was on the complete edge. Beau needed to leave after two days, even though he was more reluctant than ever. In those days Mitch didn't do much, just sat in quiet or started to cry for no reason and he had no idea how to bring up the topic of another psychologist or something. Mitch was already visiting a psychiatrist occasionally for his anxiety meds but it seemingly didn't help that much. Thankfully he didn't bring up the 'stalker' anymore.

When Beau started packing, Mitch was on Twitter and didn't really pay attention but Beau's heart was breaking for leaving him alone. He needed to convince him to visit someone at least for a night after he leaves otherwise they were going to have a late night talk again, Mitch crying and Beau not knowing how to help from far away. He hated this long distance-thing.

"Listen, babe," he started carefully, not really knowing how to begin. "I was thinking that you could have a sleepover at someone's place after I left. How does that sound?"
"I'm not a baby," Mitch mumbled, not looking up from his phone.
"I know but- I'm just worried."

Mitch scoffed. Suddenly everyone was worried for him but they were still refusing to listen.

Beau wrinkled his forehead as he tried to read his boyfriend's face. "Are you sure it's a good idea for you to say here alone?"

Mitch was thinking what to answer but as much as he wanted to seem badass, he knew that he didn't want to give his stalker the chance to catch him while he's home alone. He didn't have many options, did he? He hated that these days it was so hard to control his emotions. Before he realized, he was already in Beau's arms, crying into his sweater.
"Oh my God," Beau mumbled. His heart was literally breaking but he couldn't do more than rubbing his boyfriend's back and kissing the top of his head, trying to be as reassuring as he could.

He knew that Mitch had depression and anxiety but most of the time he was doing perfectly alright. He was smiling, laughing and joking around, he was fun and adorable, and Beau knew that the old Mitch was still there under this mess. He had no idea why his boyfriend was so low but he wished more than anything to know so he could help him.

For a moment he even considered that one of their fans was actually threatening him but then he shook his head and dropped the idea. He needed to think straight. That's what Mitch needed, not to feed his fears with looking for someone to blame.

What was he supposed to do?