Cricket: Ember's Story

And Baby Makes Three

Hex is my best friend, but there are things I don't tell her. That's because she's a force of nature, and I'm a blade of grass.

If I told her Jesse fantasizes about our double suicide, for example, she'd never let him come near me again. She knows he beats me, and she hates him for it. But if I told her about the death stuff, she would break his neck on my behalf.

"He's going to find out what you're doing, trying to get Cricket back," she warns me often.

"I'm good at keeping secrets," I say, which is true enough. I hid a pregnancy for nine months after all.

"Well what's gonna happen when you get that baby back?" she asks.

I haven't thought that far ahead myself, so I ignore her. I know if the roles were reversed, Hex would've already left Jesse and made him feel like a roach who wouldn't dare follow her. She takes no shit.

Adam is the only one who can keep up with Hex. They're always going ninety miles an hour together, cranked up with no time to breathe. They are a swirling flame in any room. Unapologetically intense and overwhelming.

Ever since Hex told me she's pregnant and that she and Adam are engaged, I've noticed some major changes in her. First she set out to quit using drugs at all, which I didn't think she could actually do, but she's tapered down to smoking once a week when she used to smoke every day.

And she is acting so different. Happy. I've always known Hex as this tough, angry chick. She laughs and stuff, don't get me wrong, but she was never joyful. These days, I catch her smiling to herself with both hands on her flat belly!

And Adam? He's fucking whipped! He is treating her like a goddess. He follows her around everywhere like a puppy, getting her everything she needs or wants. He gets worried when she walks around or sits down too fast.

"Baby, be careful!" he'll say, grabbing her arm protectively if she tries to sit down next to him, like she's an 80 year old with a broken hip, gently lowering her down inch by inch.

"Are you okay?" he'll ask, all worried, if she so much as stubs her freaking toe.

The two of them are all over each other too. It's absolutely sickening. They're either snuggling, whispering, giggling, making out, flirting, play fighting, disappearing into their "bedroom" multiple times a day to have loud and obvious sex, or they're being all lovey-dovey with the baby. Adam is always touching Hex's belly now, talking to it and kissing it like it's not just a clump of cells in there.

"What the hell is with you two? Why are you so goddamn horny all the sudden?" Jesse demanded the other day.

Like Gus, he's in the dark about their new plans. I'm not even sure if Adam knows that I know about it all. I looked at Hex, and she shook her head at me.

"They're always like that," I told Jesse, blowing it off like he was imagining things.

Gus, on the other side of the room, was silent, staring at them both with an unreadable facial expression. He knows. I know he knows. He always knows. At least Hex doesn't need to worry about him blabbing though.

Yeah, I know I'm in a foul mood, like a grumpy old person, and I know exactly why. It's because I'm jealous! I'll admit it! This is what I wanted for me and Jesse, but all I got out of it was a baby I haven't even properly met and a boyfriend threatening to kill me every time he has a bad day. I wanted... this. A chance at a real fucking life with my cute, perfect little family. But everything is up in the air for me. Like always.