Cricket: Ember's Story

Fear in the Dark

The next month, Hex allows Adam to come with us to the doctor for her check up. The baby (or lettuce leaf according to Gus) has grown a lot! The doctor says it has facial features now and its arms and legs have finally sprouted. She also tells us its sex has already been determined, but we won't be able to see what it is for a long time. For Adam's sake, I hope it's a girl.

I'm kind of vicariously living through Hex as I remember my own pregnancy that I kept a secret. It makes me think about all the things I missed, like seeing Cricket on an ultrasound, and that makes me sad. In a way I'm trying to redo my whole pregnancy by focusing so much on Hex's baby.

It's not that I want to be pregnant again. I don't know if I'll ever have more kids. But I do want a second chance, and helping Hex is the closest thing to it. I make sure she has everything she needs, and to say thanks she lets me listen to the baby's heartbeat every day.

The doctor gave her and Adam one of those portable heartbeat monitor things that looks like a walkie-talkie, and Hex has become obsessed with it. She constantly checks to make sure its heart is still beating. It's the last thing she does before she falls asleep and the first thing she does in the morning. You can tell the baby's heartbeat because it's really fast, much faster than Hex's, which the wand also picks up.

Adam has kept his word and stayed off the pipe, and it's really great having him back. It makes me realize just how much he changes when he's cranked up. He loses all the best parts of himself when he's on that stuff, like his stories or the way he's so sweet to Hex. This whole other person takes over. I've tried to explain it to him, but he just doesn't believe me that he gets as bad as he does.

One rainy night, after listening to Adam's latest chapter, we all fall sleep in the living room to avoid the leaks in the bedrooms. It's the middle of the night when suddenly a pair of headlights floods the room through the long front windows. I'm the one who wakes up first, and my heart is hammering as I shake Jesse.

He opens his eyes. "What?"

"Someone is here!" I cry.

This has never happened before. Ever. It's our worst nightmare.

Jesse wastes no time. He jumps up and starts running around, grabbing our stuff and waking up the others. Outside, the car has turned off its headlights, and I hear the sound of two doors opening and closing. I'm crawling on the floor to avoid being seen, and when I raise my head to peak out the window I see four big guys heading to the front door. They look like giants compared to Jesse, Adam and Gus. They're laughing and seem high or drunk by the way they walk, but I can't tell for sure.

"Upstairs!" Hex hisses at me, pulling me away from the window.

It's the only place we can go. The back door has always been boarded up. Tonight I don't think at all about the creaky floorboards or the rickety staircase. I bolt up there, and all of us close ourselves into the last room at the end of the hallway. We make no sound as we hear the front door swing open and the sound of footsteps and voices.

When I look around at everyone, all I can see is wide eyes in the darkness. Even the guys are scared. If they find us, they'll rape me and Hex and then kill all of us. This neighborhood is not a safe one, and even though we have claim to the house by being here first, these guys could just kill us and take over our spot and nothing would happen to them. If they find us.

Rain water trickles down through a hole in the ceiling, and it's cold. Autumn is coming. Jesse wraps his arms around me, and Adam does the same to Hex. Gus, on his own, hugs his knees with his stuffed dog pressed between his legs and chest. We wait. Time goes by agonizingly slow. I'm hoping these men are just here to get high and leave.

That's when we hear the sound I know we've all been dreading: someone is coming upstairs. We have no weapons. Hex has been talking about us needing to get a gun for weeks now. We just haven't.

Terrified tears prick my eyes as the footsteps move closer to the room where we're hiding. I inadvertently let out a little squeak of fear, and Jesse's grip around me tightens. He whispers, "Shhh..." in my ear. I can't stop shaking.

I look at Hex. Adam has one hand on her belly and she's put her hand over his. I can see her white knuckles from how tightly she's gripping his fingers. Seeing her being so scared scares the hell out of me.

The man in the hall is opening every door and then slamming them shut. He's maybe two rooms away from us when we hear a voice calling from downstairs. The footsteps pause, and we all hold our breath, waiting. Then, finally, we hear them start walking in the opposite direction.

For the next half hour, we sit there in the dark. None of us dares to fall asleep or move. Then, finally, we hear the men opening up the front door and slamming it shut behind them. The sound of an engine. Then nothing. We all take a deep breath.

Jesse offers to go first and make sure the men are really gone. The minutes crawl by, and everyone is tense while we wait.

"It's clear!" Jesse's voice finally calls from downstairs, and we all come barreling out of the room.

In the living room, we find a few used syringes. Jesse throws them outside into the street. It looks like those men just came here to shoot up and check the place out, but we can't be sure. We're going to have to leave. We can't take the chance of this happening again.

"I say we stay and fight for our place," Hex says stubbornly. "We'll get some guns. This is our house. We've lived here for months. Nobody is taking our house!"

"Hex, you have to think about the baby," Adam says gently. "It's not just you who'll get hurt if something goes wrong."

"I am thinking of the baby! That's why I want to fight!"

I look at Jesse, who's deep in thought. I don't want to fight. I'd rather run and hide like we just did than face those huge guys.

"Okay, let's do this," Jesse says, getting an idea at last. "Let's lay low this week and sleep somewhere else. We can come back every day and check the house and see if anyone's taken over. If they haven't, we can come back at the end of the week. That's enough time for them to make a move if they want to."

It sounds reasonable enough, and I see Adam nod and Hex shrug.

"Gus?" I ask.

"Sounds okay to me," he says.

"Sounds good to me too. Let's get out of here for now," I say.

As soon as the morning light makes it possible to see clearly, we pack up all we have and hit the streets.