you can stay | changlix ✔︎

one

a/n : my valentine's gift to you

~seo changbin~

i quickly learned that i'd never fall in love. it was nearly impossible for me to love someone without being a killer. i was alone, but i made it that way. i'd just stay locked up in my house, everyone was better off that way. without me.

sure i still had to go through the whole school and graduation thing, but all from the four walls that constantly surrounded me. i really was alone, and the only contact i had with anyone was through a video call. not like i talked to anyone beside my teachers anyway.

i don't want friends because i know they'll try to save me from this misery i call life. people just don't understand that i want to be alone. i had been alone for years now, only it wasn't exactly my choice in the beginning.

my father put me in this house when i was just about ten. my parents had just found out i had the sickness, and i wish they hadn't found out the way they did.

anyway, he put me in my own little house. as if a child could take care of himself. i don't care anymore, my nights of crying myself to sleep are over. i hated my father, even though i wanted to love him so badly. he hated me too, for i was a monster in his eyes.

everything i touched died, and for the first time i wish that was an exaggeration. i wish i was being some angsty teen that pretended they had a way with words, but no, everything i touched literally died.

doctors have been trying to find ways to help me for years, but i got sick of their all white hazmat suits. i was made like this for a reason, obviously i wasn't supposed to enjoy my life like everyone else. i didn't deserve it, not after what i did.

i ruined my family, and there's nothing anyone can do to reverse time. there's no cure for me. i was legitimately born a killer, and there was nothing to change that.

so i had accepted my fate, just me and my little house. alone. forever.

~lee felix~

"so is anyone going to tell me why we decided to move again?" my parents wouldn't admit it, but i knew they were just tired of our old house. they couldn't stay in one place for more than two years, and i had just hoped this time would be different.

my mom turned around, looking at me from the front seat on the moving van. "felix, sometimes change is good. you'll understand one day."

"yes mom, one day i'll just understand that leaving my friends every two years is good." i couldn't help but to roll my eyes. i knew i was being bratty, but i was sick of this already. it made me want to die, not literally though. i'm too hot for that.

i stared out the window, and i will admit the houses were really nice. they followed the same structuring, but every one was different in some way. they were on the smaller side, for me at least, with a maximum of two floors. i think it'll be nice though.

"that's ours!" i looked at my mom who couldn't contain her excitement, and suddenly i didn't think this move would be so bad.

she parked the van into the driveway, and my dad parked our car on the side of the street. there it was, our two floored blue house. it was cute, and looked the way a true home should look. maybe this really would be a forever home.

"felix, why don't you go take a walk around the neighborhood, and get a feel for our new home!" my dad knew it took me time to get used to places and respected my ways of adapting. so i agreed, after all i didn't want to help unload that van right now.

before making my way down the street, i couldn't help but admire the house across the street from my own. it's exterior was sleek and the front door looked as if it had hardly been opened. it didn't look like your typical home, but whoever lived there must be pretty cool.

i tried to get a peek in the interior, as the statement window curtains were wide opened. the inside was gloomy, and there wasn't much color. who knows, maybe they were going for a minimalistic design.

but then i saw the show stopper. a boy sat along his windows edge, staring into a textbook. his attire matched the house white frankly, as all dark clothes hung from his body. his black hair was messy and covered his forehead a bit. he was gorgeous. you know, maybe today was a good day to introduce myself to the neighbors...or just this one.

i walked across the street, and he must've noticed because he disappeared from his window. i walked up the front steps, my hand just inches away from the doorbell, but the door swung open rapidly.

"hi i'm felix, your new neighbor." he stood at around my height, and his eyes sparkled in a way i had never seen before. "i'd shake your hand, but your glass door seems to be separating us."

his hand moved up to the glass door, and locked it quickly. "you can't be here."

"uh i get the whole 'my parents aren't home' thing. i just wanted to introduce myself though. sorry if i bothered you-" i began to turn around. what was i thinking anyway? not everyone will just fall in love with you felix.

"i'm changbin."

i smiled before turning back to face him. "nice to meet you, changbin. hopefully i'll see you around. do you go to the prep school around here? i'm blanking on the name."

his face dropped and i felt all sorts of new barriers being built between us. "i was supposed to go there, but i can't anymore. i study at home."

"oh that's cool, i used to beg my parents to homeschool me. maybe they could meet one time, our parents."

changbin was visibly uncomfortable at the mention of parents, and suddenly i felt terrible. surely he didn't live alone, but maybe homelife just wasn't the best. "i have to go now."

before i could even say goodbye the door shut. and i stood there as i listened to changbin stomp up the stairs.