you can stay | changlix ✔︎

twenty

~lee felix~

i woke up to four new doctors in my room. they all did a routine check up and tried to diagnose me with something new. one doctor recently brought up changbin's disease, but the other doctors quickly diffused that scenario. everyday was quite frankly the same and i had gotten used to the questions by now, they were all the same anyway.

was there someone else there with you that night?

did you take any drugs?

are you keeping something from us?

day after day i was asked these questions, yet my answers were always the same. funny how the word no means nothing in this world. all people do is push and push until they hear what they want.

the lead doctor on my case, dr. lim, stayed behind while the others left. she sat on the edge of my hospital bed and gave me a concerned look. "felix, you've been here for far longer than imagined and you've shown no progress. so far your condition has only gotten worse, and there is no explanation for it. as your doctor i want to do everything i can for you, but i'm afraid there's nothing more to offer."

"d-does that mean my time is up now?" my hands gripped the white sheets and my heart started to race. i know i talked about giving up and letting my afterlife take the wheel, but i didn't really think i was actually dying.

her hand gripped onto one of my own, and she tried to offer her best smile. "i'm going to bring your parents in, okay? we'll figure something out together."

"is there anyway you could maybe...oh never mind forget it."

"do you want your boyfriend to be here?"

without warning tears started streaming down my face. dr. lim and i had gotten rather close in my time being at the hospital. most of the time she was the one running the tests, checking on me, and hanging around to make sure i was okay. there was a lot of room for talking and it was almost inevitable that my significant other came up in conversation. i just didn't mention my boyfriend was seo changbin.

through some simple research i found out that changbin's father practically owns the town and every single person living here knows about changbin and his condition. except my family apparently because we're so new and no one bothered to tell us anyway. people like police officers and medical workers of all kind knew about changbin because he was labeled as a danger to the town, yet he couldn't really be held accountable for anything he ever did because his disease was incurable. don't i have great taste when it comes to dating?

"i don't think he'd be able to make it anyway."

"hun, he's your boyfriend. of course he'd make time for you. i can give him a call myself if you aren't feeling up to it."

"can you keep a secret?"

"felix, what's going on?"

"i don't think my boyfriend would be able to come in such a public setting because he's seo changbin. and i know you know all about him. so please forget i asked for him to come."

"i'll see what i can do, sound good?"

"r-really?"

"you don't necessarily choose who you fall in love with. it just happens. i understand. if he got you to like him then he must be a pretty great guy." she gave me a warm smile, and suddenly i felt safe again.

i watched as dr. lim walked out of my room and my parents walked in. my mother was hysterical in tears while my father tried his best to maintain himself and keep my mother as sane as possible. emotionally i couldn't really feel anything to be honest, it still hadn't hit me that i might only have these last few hours on earth. physically i was in a lot of pain and i didn't even want to know how i looked at this point. i felt like a zombie.

"oh felix, sweetheart what do you want us to do for you? anything you need, we'll do it." my mom sat by my side with her arms wrapped around me. it's almost as if i could feel her pain radiating off of her. i was her only child.

"i-i'm so sorry." tears cascaded down my face, and i no longer had control of myself. "i'm so so sorry. i wish i could r-reverse time."

my mom's emotions started to catch up with mine, as my father held us both in his arms silently crying along. not only were they going to lose me, but i was going to lose them. i hated to admit it but i was terrified. i couldn't leave them, i hadn't gone a day without my parents. i wasn't ready to go.

~seo changbin~

when i got the call from dr. lim my world stopped. my heart slowed and my phone dropped to the ground. all i could think to do was put on the nearest pair of shoes and leave. i still had felix's car and although my driving abilities weren't the best, i made it to the hospital. i didn't know what to feel really. i didn't want to believe that he was going to leave me, and i hated to admit that it was my fault.

i stood outside the entrance, i just couldn't go in. if i saw him lying in the hospital bed, hooked up to an iv, then this would all be true. my sunshine would be dying.

"sir, can i help you?"

without lifting my head to the stranger i gave a small laugh. "no no, it's just hard to continue to watch the one i love die. i'd rather stay out here for a second."

"i'm sorry, sir. i wish you the best." the stranger gave me a small pat on the back before walking away from me, and i just prayed nothing happened to him next.

i finally walked inside and headed to the front desk. "can i please have the room number for lee felix?"

the woman looked up at me from her seat, but she couldn't see my face due to my mask and sunglasses. she raised her eyebrow for just a second before continuing. "what's your relation to the patient?"

"he's my boyfriend."

"i'm afraid i'll have to contact his family before i can let you upstairs."

"by the time you do that he might be dead. please just let me say goodbye."

her expression changed drastically and she quickly searched for the room number. "floor three, room twenty five."

i nodded and jogged to the stairway. elevators and me didn't get along especially when they're crowded. i ran up each flight of stairs as if my life depended on it, and honestly it kind of did. before i could catch my breath my eyes landed on a big number five next to the doorway. i was so close.

i barged into the hallway and ran until i saw his room. the curtains were drawn, but the only figure i could make out was felix in the hospital bed. i stood outside the door for a second, taking the time to take off my 'disguise' and attempt to fix the wrinkles in my shirt.

my hand slowly turned the door handle and there he was. his eyes widened bigger than ever and his mouth formed a small 'o'. he blinked a few times to make sure he wasn't dreaming, and a bright smile spread across his face.

"y-you're here."

"i came as fast as i could."

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