Phantom's Fate 《Phantom of the Opera Fanfiction》

21

《Erik》

After carrying Alia home tucked against my chest like a fragile gift, I give her some time to rest in her room while I go to my own. She seems rather disheveled and uneasy, and the entire walk down she was quiet. I cannot blame her. After such an encounter, I would be rattled too; if I cared for a person enough. With Alia, however, I would be more than simply distraught. That is why I cherish our relationship. Besides the rocky beginning, our bond only grew closer and more tender, and I wouldn't change it for the world.

After leaving her relax with some tenderly made peppermint tea, I find my thoughts starting to wander. The entire time since finding her on the roof, my mind has been a disaster. An utter mess. I cannot seem to understand...how she can say such precious words? She loves me? My own mother never spared a moment to utter those words, nor my father. How can this woman--this angel--love me? I haven't done much to earn such a golden reward. Women love handsome men with good personalities and interesting hobbies, no? I don't even make it onto a comparison list with other men. Being so horrifically deformed has dwindled my chances to slim to none with ever being loved...yet here we are...

Sitting on my bed with a sigh, I run my hands over my face and peel my mask off. The fresh air hits my skin chillingly, a small ache tingling against my face. It hurts after a while to wear this thing constantly, but having Alia around permits no chance of leaving it behind. She would not look at me with those constant tender eyes, that beautiful smile that spreads on her lips when she sees me... In the end, I must endure the discomfort to protect her. It is for the best.

Rising slowly, I reach into a drawer and pull out the only mirror I own in this vast house. With a small light on, I stare with disappointment at the horrific reflection. My fingers graze lightly over the twisted, scarred skin, over the thin skin of my forehead, across my swollen, dark lips... She can never love this. How could anyone muster up love for this grotesque face? A woman wants a handsome man, not this gargoyle. If she sees, she will be scarred for life, regretting ever saying those bittersweet words to me. They will hold no meaning. She will...be afraid of me.

Like everyone else.

But...Alia is different than those people. She has proven it on multiple occasions, from the very start. Despite the bitterness I'd shown her, she came back in one way or another, showing a determination I've never seen before. Unlike Christine, she never became blind to curiosity and tore my mask away. No. She had told me to take all the time I need, and I began to trust her, more than anyone in my life. She has been weak in front of me, and vice versa, seeing me at very low points. I feel guilty for her witnessing such pitiful situations, but she has never disparaged me for feeling. Instead, she makes me feel human, like the average man, yet not average. In her presence, I am comfortable, happy, serene... She gives me the special treatment I could only dream of as a child, and even now. I couldn't ask for more out of her because that would be greedy. Her displays of affection have filled me with a sense of belonging, a glimmer of hope in my lonely, dark world. She has become my North Star, the single light on my path.

My lip quivering, I tear my eyes away from the reflection and stable myself on the dresser. My head drops as a painful lump forms in my throat. I have seen Alia blossom like the flower she is. From being afraid to hold a pair of ballerina slippers to mastering the art again, I have seen that light in her eyes grow brighter, her smile truer. As a side hobby, I have taught her voice leisurely, despite her having comparable voice lessons in her own time. She has still managed to bloom as an excellent soprano, and our duets have stirred intense emotions within me. Our voices melting together like honey in tea, I feel things I never have with Christine. I feel safe, trusted, accepted. To Alia, I am a real man with a human heart, not a far off fantasy with a devastating reality. Alia has respect for me, for my privacy...